The singularly-named Liz is an NFL Cheerleader who was chosen to represent the Houston Texans in the 2015 Pro Bowl game.

Adult film star Lisa Ann–who broke into the mainstream as Sarah Palin in Who’s Nailin’ Palin?–just provided the most unexpected sports story of the year. The busy actress used an epic handwritten letter to announce (via Facebook and her Twitter feed) that she is retiring from the business. That isn’t really the surprise. A lot of adult stars retire several times in their career.

The big twist here is that Lisa Ann is going from being a fantasy girl to being a fantasy football expert. As she puts it in her goodbye note, “In my new life, I dream of having an undefeated season in fantasy football.”

The actress is giving up the beautiful life of an adult actress to get really serious about her work hosting SirusXM Fantasy Sports Radio–which will air tonight at 10 pm, if you need to hear more of Lisa Ann discussing her big move. All we know is that this really proves that Fantasy Sports are a really big movement in our society.

“Too damn big,” mutters some disgruntled fans of Lisa Ann, and we know what they mean. Never heard Lisa Ann say that, though. And we can’t really complain about Lisa Ann moving on to things, since the brainy beauty has already left us so much to remember her bod by–like these pics…

Alice F is an NFL Cheerleader who was chosen to represent the Atlanta Falcons for the 2015 Pro Bowl.

Sometimes Mondays can flip you on your head, leaving you completely clueless as to how you should handle yourself. Hopefully you’ve got a friend like this tortoise, making sure you’re able to get back into it (whatever it is.)

Just watch the freaking video already.

**And in case you were wondering about how he got flipped over, might we suggest the only other video on COED.com regarding tortoise fights.

For those of you who’ve been losing sleep over WTF is wrong with Taylor Swift’s belly button, or whether or not she even has one… you can now rest easy.  This poolside bikini photo of Taylor circa 2013 hit the interwebs today putting an end to one of the biggest, most alluring celebrity mysteries of 2014.

In a recent interview with Lucky Magazine, Miss Swift was quoted saying:

“When you start showing your belly button, then you’re really committing to the midriff thing. I only partially commit to the midriff thing — you’re only seeing lower rib cage. I don’t want people to know if I have one or not.”

Unfortunately for us Taylor Swift’s belly button is nothing freakish or weird, no strange piercings or odd deformities.  Just your regular old, run of the mill innie.

Check out Taylor Swift’s 22 Hottest Photos Here.

[H/T DrunkenStepFather]

Jennifer Lawrence has revealed that she recently met with Bridesmaids director Paul Feig, who is now working on a female-centered reboot of Ghostbusters. According to our friends over at The Huffington Post, MTV asked stars of The Hunger Games and Interstellar to name their top picks for the cast, and the consensus included Sandra Bullock, Tina Fey, Emma Stone and Melissa McCarthy. CLICK HERE for more details.

And here are some more interesting links that our air-headed intern forgot to post…

The most horrifying booby traps used in war [Cracked]

Charlie Sheen: “Nitrous Oxide made me do it!” [TMZ]

Kris Jenner poses in sexy video shoot [College Candy]

Graphic image of Jose Canseco’s finger that he shot off [Busted Coverage]

Bill Cosby just pulled the race card [The Superficial]

As the cold grip of final exams tries to squash any fun out of these last days before winter break, take comfort (and joy) in knowing that merriment under the mistletoe awaits on the other side.There also lots of opportunities for relief and relaxation between tests this week.

For starters, every football game in December is its own special occasion. Christmas specials dominate the TV schedule both in the form of childhood classics and intriguing upstarts. Big-ticket album and Blu-ray releases are dropping in hope of ending up inside Christmas stockings–and that includes some childhood favorites that you might have missed in theaters. So take a look at 14 frigidly cool things that are heating up this week…

Saints at Bears

(December 15)

The Saints and the Bears are almost easily matched going into this Monday Night Football showdown at Chicago’s Soldier Field. Each outfit is at .358 for the season with five wins and eight losses. The only real difference is that the Bears have blown their last two games, while the Saints are only down one. May the least mediocre team win!

Charli XCX – Sucker

(out December 16)

England’s current hottest hitmaker has been banging and shaking the world since the release of her single “Boom Clap” all the way back in June. After a robustly bodacious performance on last weekend’s SNL, Charli XCX is finally dropping her complete album, temptingly titled Sucker. Listen and drool.

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

(out December 16)

Gamers who missed the 2008 classic Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots will finally get to have their crack at it with a much-anticipated re-release on Tuesday. Originally hailed as a “masterpiece” by IGN, Guns of the Patriots is the final chapter in the Metal Gear Solid saga of relentless mercenary Solid Snake. Catch him again while you can.

The Maze Runner on Blu-ray

(out December 16)

With dystopian teenage sci-fi is being the rage that it is, The Maze Runner stands out for being the one that doesn’t require dudes to just openly accept a hot chick as society’s mightiest hero. Dylan O’Brien is the young upstart who leads other young delinquents toward escaping a giant labyrinth in which they’ve all been imprisoned. Action ensues, social commentary gets inferred, necessary asses get kicked.

Gov’t Mule – Dark Side of the Mule

(out December 16)

For their twentieth anniversary, Allman Brothers kinsmen and jam band heroes Govt Mule are releasing rare live recordings, starting with this 2008 “Mule-O-Ween” performance of Pink Floyd covers. The 24 tracks incorporate Floyd’s whole career, and the album comes with a bonus DVD. This Dark Side creates a perfect atmosphere for lighting up.

Timberwolves at Wizards

(December 16)

NBA Southeast first-place holders the Wizards host Northwest basement dwellers the Timberwolves for what may well be an entertainingly lopsided evening of basketball–unless it’s not. Anything can happen. It probably won’t. But it can.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

(December 16)

One year shy of its golden anniversary, A Charlie Brown Christmas, the holiday season’s most glittering jewel of a cartoon, airs on ABC. After barely making it to the air over network worries over the jazz score and actual children providing the voices of the Peanuts gang, the public immediately fell in love with the special. Just like every other Christmas ever since, a new generation will get its chance to do so as well.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on Blu-ray

(out December 16)

As a little kid, you loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles–and as an expanding older kid you lusted for Megan Fox. Director Michael Bay’s mega-budget TMNT reboot combines them all for a fun romp that hits all the right notes of “Kowabunga!”

Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas

(December 16)

Santa’s biggest, goofiest helper gets his own stop-motion animated NBC special with Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas. Voicing the character creating on the big screen by Will Ferrell is Big Bang Theory’s Jim Parsons. It’s a fun frolic that also features vocal performances by Mark Hamill, Ed Asner, Fred Armisen, Jay Leno, Gilbert Gottfried, and Rachel MacFarlane.

Senators at Devils

(Dec 17)

At 12-12, the Senators are looking a little more robust than the 11-15 Devils as they skate into New Jersey’s Prudential Center. The Devils seem to be playing under a dark cloud so far this season, so any victory could be the one that final breaks the spell, even a proper humbling of Ottawa, which does seem somewhat redundant.

The Sing-Off

(December 17)

NBC’s annual holiday season a capella singing contest showcases genuinely amazing vocalists pulling off seemingly impossible sonic feats. You’ll swear you hears drums and electric guitars when really it’s just somebody grumbling and shrieking like a musical magician. Most of the teams are college-based, so there’s a chance that some local nerd might be enjoying a huge night of looking cool on television.

Titans at Jaguars

(December 18)

With both teams battling to see who can finish at the very bottom of the AFC South, Thursday night’s Tennessee vs. Jacksonville contest does not promise to be any tournament of champions. It is, however, the sort of game where one screwy play or a single minor injury can throw fantasy rosters into a tailspin. Tune in and hope that only happens to your enemies.

The iHeart Radio Jungle Ball 2014

(December 18)

The CW airs this Yuletide pop music bacchanal, where this year’s highlights include Taylor Swift “turning 25” on stage, Charli XCX clapping her boom-booms, Ariana Grande in sexy reindeer garb, and Jessie J embodying the notion of “scary-hot.”

Party Down South: Christmas Hangover

(December 18)

CMT’s redneck revelry series Party Down South follows up last month’s Drunksgiving special with Christmas Hangover. All your liquored-up down-home favorites will be putting a holiday spin on their frantic antics, “whether it’s Lyle’s duck call caroling, Lauren’s tacky sweater party, Murray getting his annual Christmas tattoo or Mattie ringing in 2015 as “Martha.’” Sounds like a ho-ho-hoot.

We’ve been big fans of Playboy model Carla Howe for a while–but it looks like she’s about to be discovered by a lot of other guys. That’s because TMZ is reporting that Carla Howe has a sex tape with Wiz Khalifa that might get put on the market. Carla is reportedly talking to Vivid Video’s own Steve Hirsch about taking the amateur video and using the tape as a movie into the professional adult biz.

Of course, Vivid can’t release the tape without Wiz also signing off on the deal. The good news is that Carla is a big draw. She can get Vivid interested in offering enough dollars to get Wiz to go along with the project. The bad news, though, is that Carla is going public on her Twitter account with official denials of any kind of release ever happening.

The important thing is that Carla Howe deserves a lot of exposure–and we’ve been very happy with how Carla exposes herself via Instagram. Check out her 22 hottest Instagram pics, and see why we’re excited over the idea of Vivid releasing her fine form in action. Even if it involves Wiz Khalifa being in the picture. We just wish Carla had hooked up with Amber Rose instead…

[lead photos via Getty Images]

Better Call Saul is coming in fast to help people get over the end of Breaking Bad–and we’re a little confused by the first poster for the show. For one thing, we’ve never seen a pay phone in a desert. That’s convenient. Also, this image seems a little stark and depressing for what should be the comic adventures of shady lawyer Saul Goodman.

We’re not complaining, though. We’d rather be intrigued by Better Call Saul than be expecting some kind of lite version of Breaking Bad. You know that we’ll be tuning (February 8th, right?)–and we’re also looking forward to seeing more of Jonathan Banks as Mike Ehrmantraut…

Emily Ratajkowski puts on a very enticing dance for a lucky teddy bear as the latest hot model in Love Magazine’s annual amazing Advent Calendar of beautiful babes. The day before was Kris Jenner. Yeah, that’s why we don’t just celebrate every day of the Advent Calendar. Emily Ratajkowski is still a great comeback, though–in the tradition of Isabeli Fontana, Lizzy Jagger, Irina Shayk, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

We’ll go ahead and warn anyone with epilepsy that they’ll probably have a seizure during this thing. Emily’s worth the risk, though…

And we understand if you need to see more of Emily in a slightly more sedate setting. Let’s still keep things seasonal with our favorite pics of Emily Ratajkowsi as a sexy Santa’s helper. Take a look and get some real help in revving up your day…

It’s been a MVP season for Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt and many fans would love to get their hands on his autograph. One 7-year-old fan, however, decided that sending Watt his autograph would be a better idea. [photo: Scott Halleran/Getty]

As a proud Watt posted on his Instagram account, he received an official verified letter from one Anthony Tarantelli–along with a signed jersey from the youngster…

That’s quite the gutsy maneuver there from Young Master Tarantelli–but it also illustrates what young fans are thinking and how much they look up to professional players even with all the issues going on in the game. Tarantelli obviously wanted to show Watt that he is very similar to him since he plays tight end too sometimes along with defensive end.

It was probably one of the oddest letters that Watt has ever received but also is likely his favorite one of all-time as well. There will be many, many more letters that Watt receives during his career but none will likely match that one.  If Tarantelli becomes famous now, Watt knows now that he will have had the first autograph from the superstar.

At first glance, The University of Pennsylvania fraternity Phi Delta Theta Christmas Card seems harmless enough.  The same goes for second glance, unless you’re a PC Nazi that has way the f**k too much time on your hands. The heavily-white represented fraternity has the internet’s panties in a wad over posing with a black blow-up doll said to be Beyonce, all though it shows zero resemblance. According to the fraternity, the doll was a gag gift for Secret Santa, and was just included in the photo to be funny, not offensive.

Organizations on and off campus including the NAACP are crying racism and all fraternal activities have been suspended until an investigation has been completed. Personally, we’re thinking that somebody should be investigating the company that made the sex doll. Technically, the packaging is honest when it comes to naming the doll, but we can still see why this thing counts as a gag gift. Check her out above (second to top row, far left), and then look at the box…

The University of Michigan is sure pumping out a lot of party videos this semester, although I guess that’s what happens when there are a lot of video production students with zero football highlights to work on. But this “Michigan Kids Go H.A.M.” is more than just a party video–it’s a music video for the song of the same name.

Is this my jam? No it’s not, but I don’t go to Michigan. The Wolverines seem to be enjoying it.

By the time you return from your holiday vacation you’ll probably be burned out from the current shows and movies on Netflix. Well our friends over at The Huffington Post have compiled a list of new titles that Netflix will be adding in January. This list includes Cast Away, Bad Boys II, Bruce Almighty, and a bunch of other classics. CLICK HERE to see the full list.

And here are some more interesting links to kick off your Tuesday morning…

6 simple things that too many people don’t know how to do [Cracked]

The weirdest Christmas TV episodes [College Candy]

Bills and Packers fans in the drunkest fan fight ever [Busted Coverage]

Kanye West bails on his family from Disney on Ice [TMZ]

Selena Gomez has a wardrobe malfunction [The Superficial]

According to the not-always-correct website Baller Alert, Toronto Raptors guard Lou Williams is dating two women simultaneously. Even better, he’s apparently nicknamed them “Blonde” and “Brown” for the color of their hair. Even JR Smith is in disbelief.

This story apparently came out in early October when people were calling it a “sister wives” situation, but the term “two girlfriends” seems like it sticks a whole lot better. The good news is that the more we look into it, the more we believe the story. The bad news is that you’re not an NBA player and trying this means you’ll likely end up with a stiletto heel in your neck.

Who is “Blonde”?

Blonde–aka Ashley Henderson–seems to be Lou’s “old lady” (a term of endearment a la Sons of Anarchy). She’s the mother of two of his children, and judging from her photos, she seems to be hanging around Lou the most. Baller Alert claims that “‘Blonde’ puts up with the agreement because Lou has afforded her a pretty nifty lifestyle that she isn’t quite ready to give up yet.”

Follow Ashley on Instagram

Who is “Brown”?

Brown–aka Rece Mitchell–definitely strikes us as the wilder of the two. She may or may not be a dancer*, and she’s got a twin sister who pretty much looks like a spitting image of Rece.

Follow Rece on Instagram

What was 2014’s most-searched beer on the internet? We won’t argue with Google’s official listing. We’re just kind of surprised at a few names that made the Top Ten. We guess that the #1 slot makes sense, though. The only baffling thing about that is figuring out who needs to learn more about the King of Internet Searches. [photo:John Gichigi/Getty]

We’re also surprised that the #1 beer’s lite version isn’t in the Top Five–but it’s definitely in the Top 10. Take a look for yourself, and cheer on those underdog brews that made it big on the internet…

1) Budweiser (maybe due to those cool Budweiser crates)

2) Corona (hopefully not for the recall over glass particles)

3) Keystone (a big surprise, considering how we usually hear more talk about Keystone Light)

4) Miller (this might be connected to Miller Lite making the news late in the year with home delivery)

5) Blue Moon (they sure got our interest this year with the Cinnamon Horchata Ale)

6) Coors (worthy of attention once they announced Amanda Mertz as NASCAR’s Miss Coors Light)

7) Bud Light (we’d have bet on this one topping the searches over the Whatever, USA promotion)

8) Pabst Blue Ribbon (mostly making the news when the PBR brand was invaded by Russians)

9) Modelo (a surprise here, but the beer had a great 2014 in sales)

10) Sierra Nevada (we’re also hoping this was a late Top 10 rally over Christmas Jam Sessions Ale)

If you didn’t know that Gawker has figuratively large testicles (much to the chagrin of Jezebel), you will now. They recently posted on their Defamer website the leaked death scene of Kim Jong-Un, as seen in the movie The Interview, as well as in-depth communication between the filmmakers as to how to go about making the scene less controversial.

This is the scene that’s got North Korea so upset.

And it’s about to be the reason that Sony considers suing Gawker.

We can’t post the video here–or even screenshots–because we like our jobs but we will post the link to the video here.

The more we hear and read about this movie, the more we’re beginning to realize that Sony made a big mistake green lighting the picture. It’s caused them nothing but a serious headache.

Who is Lisa? Since it’s Finals Week, we’ll pose it as multiple choice.

A) A native of Oakland

B) A hater of punk ass mopeds

C) Sliding out on dey ass

D) All of the above.

We learn a lot of cool stuff on the /r/trees subreddit, but this tip about using fusilli pasta as a filter might be the best thing we’ve seen in a long time.

While we’d always suggest using a paper filter (Raw makes a great one, go figure) fusilli pasta is a great substitute. If anyone in Vancouver has a license and wants to see how these smoke, either roll your own or head to Vancity Weed.

It looks like Grand Theft Auto Online‘s “Heists Mode” is finally coming in early 2015. The news and trailer comes from IGN who published a massive piece on what to expect from Heists Mode, plus what the f*ck took Rockstar so long to make it. But before we continue, watch the trailer.

GTA Online Heists Trailer

GTA Online Heists Release Date

According to GTA Online producer Imran Sarwar, “while we’re not there yet, we’re getting close and Heists will be ready early in 2015.” [source]

Imran claims that the reason that the game took so much longer to develop than anticipated was because of all the sh*t they were adding the the PC and next-gen versions, plus keeping GTA Online fresh with new content. That being said, they also spent a LOT of time perfecting what online heists should be like.

We think that you’ll like the final results.

GTA Online Heists Screenshots