Final Fantasy XV is just like the revered series high point Final Fantasy VII. The reason being that it’s nothing at all like that game, or any Final Fantasy to have come before. In the same way that VII shook off the high fantasy trappings of its predecessors to trailblaze a sci-fi influenced kingdom of space utopias and far-reaching technology, XV ignores the series’ well-worn paths to venture into parts unknown. Its closest influences are John Hughes coming-of-age films, Steven Spielberg-style inspirational epics and the gallows humor of The Walking Dead. You get an idea of what you’re in for in the opening scene, as you push a broken-down car down a dusty highway with your buddies as a tinny Stand by Me blares in the background.

Games: Final Fantasy XV
Consoles: Xbox One (reviewed), PS4
Publisher: Square Enix
Developer: Square Enix
Release Date: November 29

After the earnest but spiraling nonsense of the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy and the good-I-guess-but-only-if-you’re-into-that-sorta-thing MMO Final Fantasy XIV, XV feels so, so right. This sprawling, emotional adventure is just what the series needed to prove to its devoted, oft-disappointed fans that this is still a series worthy of scrapping its way for contention in the RPG game of thrones. At the outset you take control of a betrothed prince on a journey of self-discovery, along with some childhood friends who spirit him along on a meandering bachelor trip that will twist their world up in knots and have them questioning everything they took for granted. The open world you venture through is part 1950s road flick, part steampunk dystopia and part John Ford Western.

Combat is a fluid and intuitive system that challenges you to feel the flow of battle and know when to dive in for a preemptive strike, hang back to dodge or risk your neck to go toe-to-toe with an enemy, block his best shot and deliver a devastating parry. Too often in past Final Fantasy games, live-action combat has been a blur of mindless button-mashing. This more sophisticated system takes cues from the likes of the Batman: Arkham games and Middle-earth: Shadows of Mordor. You also feel like part of a team, with squadmates priming foes for you to flank them with combo attacks and offering up pre-battle tidbits of advice, that, if followed, net you experience bonuses.

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Much of what makes this a great Final Fantasy game is what makes it seem like it’s not a Final Fantasy game. You get right into the action, and its lore trickles out in conversation and imagery rather than dull cinematics. A reliable autosave ensures you never lose significant progress, and fallen beasts give up their loot without you having to juggle cumbersome menus. You can take the time to tinker with attributes, items and spell loadouts, but can probably get by if you want to accept presets and auto-assignments and go in with spells blazing. Subtle in-game tutorials dole out hints to help you get accustomed to new systems, making you quickly feel like a seasoned pro. Japanese world-building meets Western pragmatism to form a role-playing hybrid that’s the best of both worlds.

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Most fans who pre-ordered Final Fantasy XV would have been content with a game they weren’t embarrassed to like. Square Enix gives those die-hards far more than they bargained for with this passion project, which is a staggering achievement on the levels of storytelling, artistry and action. This is a game that will not only draw lapsed fans back into the fold, but entrance those who have scoffed at the series’ recent failures and recast them as true believers. Delivering twist after twist while etching its characters into your heart and empowering you with the triumphant thrills of the battlefield, this is a joyous rebirth that makes a strong case for being one of the defining games of this generation.

ORDER: Final Fantasy XV here

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Final Fantasy XV Reviews Around The Web:

“It looks to be a sprawling world, with plenty to see and do.” –CNet

“I think Square Enix has another potential classic on its hands.” –TechnoBufalo

“I loved what I experienced with the characters, the story’s beginning and the stage it was setting.” –RPGSite

Final Fantasy XV Screenshots

The publisher provided a review copy. 

Order Phil Villarreal’s novel, Zeta Male, here.

(Getty Images)

When NBC Sports’s Pro Football Talk reported yesterday that the NFL was considering either getting rid of Thursday Night Football entirely or at least decreasing the number of Thursday games, it seemed like a sensible move. The matchups on Thursday night are typically underwhelming, the games are usually sloppy due to the team’s lack of preparation, and the lack of recovery time after the previous week’s game is a disservice to the players.

But despite all that, today the NFL’s league spokesman denied the report in an interview with TheWrap.com.

“Someone is working overtime at the rumor mill,” league spokesman Brian McCarthy said. “We are fully committed to ‘Thursday Night Football’ and any reports to the contrary are unfounded.”

Oh well. How could we have been so naive to think that the NFL actually cares about its fans?

If the league is going to keep giving us these dreadful Thursday night games, can they please throw us a bone by at least getting rid of those eye-numbing Color Rush jerseys?

(h/t ProFootballTalk)

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(Photo by Friedemann Vogel/Getty Images)

Top flight Brazilain soccer team Chapecoense was involved in a fatal plane crash early Tuesday morning. The chartered plane crashed outside the city of Medellin, killing 76 and leaving just six survivors. Rescuers have begun removing bodies from the site of the air crash in Colombia, as it has emerged the pilot circled in a desperate attempt to burn off fuel before attempting to land.

The Avro RJ85 plane suffered power failures while flying through the Antioquia Department on its way from Bolivia. Officials said it smashed into a mountain and broke into two separate pieces.

Via CNN:

On Tuesday, the airplane carrying the Brazilian team to the biggest game in the club’s history crashed in Rionegro, Colombia, killing 75 people. Six people survived the crash and were taken to local hospitals, according to authorities.

Chapecoense was supposed to play the first leg of its Copa Sudamericana final on Wednesday against Colombian side Atletico Nacional from Medellin before its plane came down. The Copa Sudamericana, the second biggest intercontinental club competition in South America and the equivalent to Europe’s Europa League, had provided the backdrop to Chapecoense’s remarkable story.

The club, from Chapeco in the state of Santa Catarina in the south of Brazil was only formed in the 1970s and was playing in the country’s fourth tier as recently as 2007. A team with few big names, apart from Cleber Santana, who once played for Atletico Madrid and Mallorca in Spain, it went toe-to-toe with the big boys of Brazilian football.

 

Every college has that unicycle guy. When I was at Rutgers, our unicycle guy even did tricks. Up and down College Ave., just straight whipping his one wheeled beast making all of us two or four wheel folk look downright lazy. But I always wondered what the mysterious unicycler had to gain. It certainly isn’t convenience. Everyone knows the more wheels the better. Is it a statement? A Shia Labeouf-esque art installation? Is it respect? Is the unicycler demanding our respect? Or maybe there’s a faction of chicks whose panties instantly drop when they see a one-wheeled devil cruising down the street. I don’t know and maybe I never will. At this point, I’m starting to think unicyclers have a secret society/cult where they plan the deterioration of the human race from the inside. Maybe that could be the plot of True Detective‘s season three.

We got a little off topic. The original question was, is riding a unicycle through a crime scene a power move?

The answer?

You’re god damn right it is.

Sleeping with your professor is a win/win: you get some nookie and your GPA goes up. But the biggest hurdle to getting that extra credit is actually finding a teacher or professor who’d be willing to sleep with a student. Sounds hard, right? After all, these keepers of knowledge are purely in the field of academics to teach and learn. Well, believe it or not, college professors aren’t as well-behaved as you might think. According to a survey from CollegeStats.org, more than 1 in 10 current and former college students have slept with their professor or with a teacher’s assistant.

I don’t know about you, but I think 14.4% (the exact amount of people polled who told the survey they hooked up with a professor or TA) is a staggeringly high number. But if you think about it, you could definitely see how a male teacher would choose to sleep with a willing female student, right? Like, that’s got to be the reason that the number is so high…

CollegeStats.org

And then you read the part of the survey which states 57.24% of the students who admitted having affairs with teachers or TAs were male. In fact, when I read this statistic out loud to our staff, one of the guys here admitted that he had slept with one of his professors. Mind. Blown.

CollegeStats.org

So, where are all these teachers or TAs sleeping with their students? Apparently in the science and math departments, which might explain why I never met any of them.

CollegeStats.org

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Well, the regular college football season has come to an end and that sucks. But luckily for all of us football fans, it means that the conference championship games are upon us, as well as the College Football Playoff. Unlike last year, the Playoff Committee is going to have their hands full as they try to make their selections. There’s only one team that’s a guaranteed to get a bid, and other than that the other three spots are kind of up for grabs. I, personally am glad that I’m not a part of the committee because I would never want that type of responsibility, but if I did happen to be a member, here are the four teams that would have my vote to get into the College Football Playoff:

1. Alabama

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This is the only team that is guaranteed to get a bid in my opinion, regardless of if they win the SEC Championship or not on Saturday. They’ve been the best team all season, beaten seven ranked teams on their schedule (including four in a row at one point), and for the most part haven’t really been tested all season. I think that they’re going to roll through Florida on Saturday and will be the first team to punch their ticket into the playoff.

2. Ohio State

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I’m well aware that they aren’t playing for their conference title, but I just don’t think there’s any way that the committee doesn’t vote in Ohio State. With the exception of their lone loss to Penn State (more on them later), they’ve beaten three top ten teams this year and have been pretty dominant for most of the year. They’re one of the biggest programs in all of college football with one of the biggest fanbases, and the committee knows that they’ll draw more viewers than others (Washington, for example) would. I also think if they met Penn State on a neutral field that they’d beat the living crap out of them.

3. Clemson

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This all changes if they lose the ACC Championship game, but because I don’t think they’ll have any problem with Virginia Tech this weekend, the Clemson Tigers will also get a bid to the College Football Playoff. They aren’t as good as they were last year, when they lost the National Championship to Alabama, but they’ve been one of the best teams all season, and the thought of a potential rematch with Alabama would draw a ton of viewers. The ACC may not be one of the best conferences in College Football, but going 12-1 with a conference championship title is almost a lock to get you in, especially if you’re one of the biggest programs in the sport with one of its best players in DeShaun Watson.

4. Winner of the Big Ten Championship Game

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This one’s a bit of a hot take and there’s a good chance that I’m probably wrong about this, but whatever. This is my prediction, not yours, so take a hike. Do I think Penn State and Wisconsin are two of the best four teams in all of college football? No, no I do not, but the fact of the matter is that the Big Ten is the best conference in the league, and I think that the winner of the conference deserves to be rewarded accordingly. And going back to the fanbase discussion, I think that the committee realizes that both Penn State and Wisconsin have much bigger followings than Washington does, which would draw way  more viewers than any of the other programs vying for the final playoff spot. I don’t feel as confident with this pick as I do with the others, but I just can’t see how Ohio State would get in and the winner of the Big Ten Championship game wouldn’t.

As it currently stands, Washington is ranked ahead of both Penn State and Wisconsin in the College Football Playoff Rankings, so if they win the Pac 12 Championship there’s a really good chance that they will get in. I wouldn’t have any problem with that whatsoever because conference champions should be rewarded with a playoff birth, but I think with the voters wanting to get Ohio State in, the Huskies may be the team that is left out. We have to wait and see how the championship games play out and I think it will be fascinating to see who the committee votes in. Stay tuned.

(Mike Coppola/Getty Images)

Kanye West has been in the hospital for over a week now, and reports coming in from multiple sources are claiming the rapper’s condition is so serious that he may not be released anytime soon. Similarly, it is also being reported that West’s paranoia is so bad that he wouldn’t even let doctors touch him this weekend.

Via Fox:

On Nov. 21, West was hospitalized after a reported meltdown at his personal trainer’s home. The hospitalization came after the star abruptly canceled the last 21 dates of his Saint Pablo tour.

According to TMZ, West was reportedly going to be released from the hospital Monday but has been struggling with paranoia and is not stable. Us Weekly reported that doctors said West “is in no shape to leave” while his wife Kim Kardashian tried to argue her husband “could recover at home.”

A source told The New York Post, West is “mentally exhausted” from non-stop touring, work on his fashion and sneaker lines, plus the anniversary of the death of his mother Donda West on Nov. 10.

West’s condition is clearly far worse than initially expected. Based on the current reports, it doesn’t look like Kanye will be released anytime soon.

We will update this post as soon as new information becomes available.

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Welcome to the second edition of COED’s new favorite series: Florida DUI Mugshots of the Week!

Florida DUI Mugshots of the Week was born out of a mistake. As Dr. Ford says on Westworld, “Evolution forged the entirety of sentinel life using one tool… mistake.” So, if you think about it, what I’m doing is technically evolution. Darwin and I are boys.

How did we get here? Well, two weeks ago (we took off for Thanksgiving), I realized I forgot to do my edition of Florida News of the Week for that week. Florida News of the Week is one of my favorite segments for the simple fact that I love laughing at Florida (especially after the election). It’s a gold mine for blogging content. Always has been, always will be.

So, as I was sitting around HATING myself for forgetting about one of my most beloved blog posts, I figured I had to really knock it out of the park and debut a new and improved version of Florida News of the Week. I hopped onto to my usual Florida news sources when a tiny little link to a mugshot page caught my eye. Naturally, you know, because Florida is Florida, I clicked. The results were life changing.

This f*cking website allows you to sort through the mugshots by arrest! Want to find yourself some crackhead mugshots? No problem, just filter in all of the possession of cocaine arrests. Me personally, I decided to go with the DUIers of the world, because their mugshots are notorious for producing some A+ comedic faces.

And before you’re all like, “Eric! How dare you?! This is in such poor taste! You’re an asshole!” I’d like to point out that I’m not the one who decided to endanger the lives of others and get my dumbass drunk face posted to public records. Just sayin’.

So, ladies and gentleman, without any further ado, COED’s favorite new series, Florida DUI Mugshots of the Week!

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Oklahoma City point guard Russell Westbrook has been a human highlight reel since he entered the NBA back in 2008. He’s easily the most athletic point guard in the league’s history and has been one of the most exciting athletes I have ever watched. No longer Kevin Durant’s running mate, Westbrook is now the main guy in Oklahoma City and can add even more highlights to his already jam-packed career reel. With him being such a big name in the NBA nowadays, here are the five best plays (in my opinion) that Westbrook has made in his career thus far, though I’m sure it will change now that the Thunder are his team:

1. Game Winner vs. Warriors

I’m a big sucker for winning shots, but this was just awesome. The degree of difficulty was probably a 12 out of 10, and he also did it against one of the better teams in the NBA that year. To me, this was the most impressive play of Westbrook’s career (up to this point).

2. Buzzer Beater vs. Magic

I was pretty close to making this his top play, but because it wasn’t the game winner, it got bumped down to the number two spot. A near half-court shot at the buzzer is highly impressive, but with how little time he had left on the clock made it even more special. Just an incredible play all around.

3. Dunk vs. Warriors

I don’t have anything against the Warriors, it’s just that some of Westbrook’s best plays happen to have come against them. This is the type of play that really shows off his athleticism. I mean come on, look at how fast he gets down the court and where he takes off from to land this high-flying dunk. Grown men shouldn’t be allowed to be this athletic.

4. Dunk vs. Bulls

This dunk was just straight nasty. Poor Omar Asik stood literally a negative chance at stopping Westbrook here, and unfortunately for him he got posterized in a big way. This was just an absolutely filthy dunk, one of many in Westbrook’s career.

5. Dunk vs. Kings

A lot can be said about the pass made by Kevin Durant on this play, which was great by the way, but my God look at how high Westbrook gets up! The man can literally fly! Many people have complained about Lebron James never participating in the Slam Dunk Contest, but I think it’s a bigger shame that Westbrook never once took part in it.

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(Photo by Andrew Weber/Getty Images)

Johnny Manziel, the pea-brained Titanic of wasted talent, is accused of breaking the nose of a bar employee in Austin, Texas in September, according to a lawsuit filed on Monday. I hope he gets f*cking nailed for this one, too. No one on the internet hates Manziel more than I do. Kid traded an NFL career for cocaine. He’s an asshole and deserves every miserable thing that comes his way.

From the lawsuit, via Larry Brown Sports:

“About a minute or so later, Mr. Manziel came downstairs, ran behind the bar, cursed at Mr. Newton, and punched him in the face, breaking Mr. Newton’s nose. Mr. Newton grabbed Mr. Manziel to stop the attack, and both fell to the floor. Mr. Manziel then got up and ran out the back staff exit before the police arrived.”

The lawsuit believes Manziel committed assault and battery. Newton is seeking between $200,000-$1,000,000 in damages.

Manziel recently reached a tentative deal to have his domestic violence case involving his ex-girlfriend dismissed, so it’s unclear whether this will affect the matter.

The former Cleveland Browns quarterback has exhibited a violent streak on numerous occasions of late, as he also got into a fight at a friend’s wedding.

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Devastating fires in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and the surrounding areas have completely engulfed the mountain communities in a massive hellfire. The cause of the fires, which started over the weekend, is believed to be arson, but the fires are spreading extremely quickly because of weather conditions. “Everything was like a perfect storm,” Cassius Cash, superintendent of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, told local CNN affiliate WATE. The fires started because of an awful drought, then spread quickly because of the heavy wind, which caused some trees and power lines to go down, which in turn caused more fires. It’s a very awful situation for the residents and businesses in the area.

From what we can understand this morning, much of Gatlinburg is gone. The houses, the chalets, the hotels. Fire is a real b*tch. Thankfully there was a little bit of rain on Tuesday morning, but there’s not much that can be done for what’s already been destroyed.

But more important than homes and livelihoods are the actual lives of the people living there, and escaping from a situation like an entire mountain on fire is not something we ever hope to experience. Some of the residents had the presence of mind to film their escape, which seems like a scene out of some horror film or apocalyptic video game. It’s definitely nail-biting, harrowing stuff.

If the cause of these fires really is arson, the person responsible better hope that the law doesn’t ever find them because they are going to be toast.

We’ll be updating this post as more, unbelievable videos start coming into the fold. Check out the videos below.

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Devastating fires in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and the surrounding areas have completely engulfed the mountain communities

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Escape From Gatlinburg

This video shot by Michael Luciano from Facebook is absolutely insane. It shows two men and their dog, Red, trying to escape from the devastating Gatlinburg fires that have consumed the town on their way down the mountain. One of the problems is that there are downed trees and power lines blocking the roads and escape routes. Of course, that’s compounded by the high heat, smoke inhalation, and extremely low visibility.

If it looks like hell, that’s because it is.

Multiple Views Of The Fire

This video is a little different from some of the others in that it’s a compilation. The first videos show the Gatlinburg fire heading towards town, while the following videos show the view of the fires from inside a hotel.

Westgate Resort In Gatlinburg

City of Gatlinburg

In this video shot by Kaitlan-Jo Chapman, you can see how the sky turns orange from the combination of the smoke (which blocks out the sun) and the fire, which is the only light visible in Gatlinburg.

Brown Athletics’ Twitter

Last night, the Bryant Bulldogs lost in heartbreaking fashion to the Brown Bears 91-90. But this wasn’t your typical one-point defeat, as there were two lead changes in the last 11.3 seconds and a Bryant player made a spectacularly foolish blunder.

Here’s how the last 15.6 seconds played out.

The player with the awareness of a Gatorade cooler is Ikenna Ndugba. I know everything’s gotta be moving super fast out there, but how the hell can you not realize you’re losing in a situation like that? Basketball scoring involves adding ones, twos, and threes, so it’s not exactly rocket science.

I love how Ndugba even went for the celebratory high five after the buzzer sounded. What a slapdick. His teammate probably wanted to chokeslam him through the scorers table.

As entertaining as that was, Roscoe Smith is still the GOAT when it comes to bad clock management in college basketball. His ill-advised full court heave gets me every time.

Last week, we reported on the fact that Hampshire College (a very small college in Amherst, MA) removed the American flag from their flag pole, in addition to banning all flags on campus, as a response to some students burning the American flag. It was a controversial decision at the time and remains one to this day. In fact, this past weekend a group of Vietnam veterans appeared on campus at Hampshire College to protest the removal of all flags.

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Hundreds of veterans, veterans’ family members, and American flag supporters showed up on campus to protest the decision. Although it was a peaceful protest, there seemed to be a feeling of “we’re right, you’re wrong” in the air. Maybe the protestors missed the memo, but the college students at Hampshire College might be the most liberal, artsy students I’ve ever seen in my time here at COED. War veterans protesting at their school doesn’t really strike me as the best way to prove their point, but they’re certainly welcome to make it.

“They took down my flag, they have a right to that, I’m here to defend their right to do that but I want them to understand how bad that hurts me,” veteran Jerry Maguire told WWLP-TV.

But the big news of today is that many people believe the coverage of this flag protest is what prompted President-elect Donald Trump to tweet this:

The tweet was sent at 6:55 A.M. EST, which corresponds with Fox News’ coverage of the event Tuesday morning. Flag-burning is something that’s protected by the Constitution of the United States of America. Although it’s certainly a sign of disrespect and hostility, it’s not illegal. One teacher in Fayetteville, North Carolina tried to teach that to his students in class but was immediately suspended.

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We’re not a fan of the removal of the American flag, burning of flags, or putting the flag at half-mast in response to Trump’s victory, but these are forms of protest that college students should be learning. Let them also learn how to deal with people protesting on their property. That’s America. That’s how this works. But threatening to throw people in jail for burning the flag isn’t just illegal according to the Constitution, it’s a serious step towards radical authoritarian nationalism (aka fascism).

You can see photos of the Hampshire College protest below:

YachtWorld

If you’re a huge Caddyshack fan with a ton of cash lying around, I’ve got some great news for you! For the bargain price of $129,000, you can buy the yacht Rodney Dangerfield (Al Czervik) terrorized Ted Knight (Judge Smails) with in Caddyshack. Here’s the classic scene from the 1980 comedy.

Unfortunately, Rodney’s dynamite outfit is not included with the yacht. Via YachtWorld, here’s the boat’s description.

Here’s your chance to buy not only a great Sportfisherman and awesome Sea boat but a movie legend as well! Star of Caddy Shack, Big Dog was Rodney’s yacht in the movie and ran over everything in sight! “Move over Swanson, I’m driving!” (Check out the video link). Of course, being a Striker and built like a Tank, she can handle anything you throw at her! So if you are in the market for a fabulous rough water fishing boat with a bit of movie history thrown in, this is your boat! And at a great price as well! She needs some TLC but well worth the effort….

And here are some photos of the beautiful vessel.

The 60-foot, 1979 Striker is located in Annapolis, Maryland, and I can’t imagine it will stay on the market for long. The yacht will pay for itself in the form of priceless surprised reactions after you tell people its history.

Scenes From the 80s’ YouTube

(Photo by Alan Pedro/Getty Images)

In the wake of the tragic plane crash involving Brazilian club Chapecoense, the soccer community around the globe has begun to band together to pick up the pieces.

First, the Colombian club Atletico Nacional, who Chapecoense was scheduled to play on Wednesday, called on football authorities Tuesday to hand the Copa Sudamericana title to Chapecoense as a tribute to the team’s players killed in a plane crash.

Via Sport 360:

(Atletico Nacional) asked of CONMEBOL “that the Copa Sudamericana title be handed to Chapecoense Football Association as an honorary trophy for its great loss, and as a posthumous homage to the victims of the fatal accident that has put our sport in mourning.”

Chapecoense and Atletico Nacional were supposed to have faced off Wednesday in the first-leg of the final of the Copa Sudamericana, the second most prestigious club football tournament in South America after the Copa Libertadores.

CONMEBOL said in a statement earlier that the match was suspended until further notice.

“We are in contact with the authorities and are waiting for official reports.”

A source close to CONMEBOL told AFP it was “very unlikely” that the final would ever be played.

Similarly, Corinthians, one of the clubs in Brazil’s top flight, requested that the country’s football authorities allow Chapecoense to remain in the top-tier of Brazilian football without fear of relegation for three years. It is being reported that all Serie A clubs are agreeing to the request. Furthermore, the teams also agreed that they would send players to Chapecoense on-loan for free during that period.

Finally, from halfway across the world, French giants Paris Saint-Germain have informed UEFA that they will donate €40 million (about $50 million) to Chapecoense.

It is going to be a long, difficult road for the friends, families, and fans of Chapecoense to recover, but receiving support from all around the world is a decent start.

Chapecoense Brazil Soccer Team Plane Crash: Full Story

Top flight Brazilain soccer team Chapecoense was involved in a fatal plane crash early Tuesday

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You may not know who Jasmine Tookes is at this very moment, but after the 2016 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, you should.

Jasmine Tookes, born February 1, 1991, is an American model who was raised in Huntington Beach, California. Tookes has a younger sister, who is 19 years her junior. She did gymnastics for ten years and was also active in volleyball and softball before she became a model at about the age of 15. Her mother is a celebrity fashion stylist, which was beneficial for Tookes, as she was discovered at one of her mother’s showroom appointments.

Via USA Today:

The 25-year-old model may have the biggest job in the entire show: modeling the $3 million Fantasy Bra. Tookes has also been harassed by trolls, as many prominent women and women of color have, who recently accused her of bleaching her skin. She responded with grace on Twitter. “Just CRAZY!!! I love my skin! It’s my favorite thing about myself,” she tweeted.

Follow Jasmine Tookes on Instagram!

YouTube

Today, Emma Morano turned 117 years old. She was born all the way back on November 29, 1899 in Italy. But what’s her secret for such a long life? Well, there are two secrets actually. The first secret for living so long is her ability to remain single. That’s right, folks! Don’t be so down on yourself for being single because it may just add several unexpected decades onto your lifespan. Just ask Emma Morano.

She did get married once, though. Way back in the 1930s, at age 26, Morano tied the knot with an abusive man, who extorted her into marriage with the threat of violence. According to Morano, her former husband said, ”Either you agree to marry me or I will kill you.”

Thankfully, that marriage did not last long. She left him after only a few years. While married, they had a baby son. He died six months after being born, and by then Morano had enough of her husband. She said, “I separated from him in 1938. I think I was one of the first in Italy to do that.”

She found freedom in staying single. She no longer had anyone in her home that would dominate her and she’s stayed single ever since. Is there any merit to this theory of “stay single and you’ll live longer”? Well, people who are single on average are scientifically linked to less stress, less debt and better physical shape.

But didn’t I say that Emma Morano had two secrets to how she’s lived so damn long? That’s right! And her second secret is eating raw eggs! Yes, that’s right. She has eaten raw eggs for breakfast every day for lord knows how long. That’s two raw eggs every single day for decades, with the occasional fried egg on the side. Her doctor Carlo Brava said, “She has never eaten much fruit or vegetables. Her characteristic is that she always eats the same thing, every day, every week, every month, and every year.”

Well, you heard it right, folks! Stay single and eat eggs and you’ll live through the centuries! And by the way, happy birthday to you, Emma Morano! Here are some additional happy birthday and congratulatory Tweets just for her:

This morning we all read the awful news of the Brazilian soccer team Chapecoense, many of whose players died in a plane crash that killed 77 people. Among those 77 people, 20 of them were with the Chapecoense team, either as players, coaches, or training staff. There were also at least four journalists on board covering the team.

Chapecoense Brazil Soccer Team Plane Crash: Full Story

Top flight Brazilain soccer team Chapecoense was involved in a fatal plane crash early Tuesday

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While here in the office we might not have been familiar with the team or even the tournament they were playing in, it goes without saying that our hearts go out to all the victims and their families. We can’t even fathom how they might be feeling right now. But some other people who probably need your prayers right now are the three members of Chapecoense who didn’t travel with the team for one reason or another.

These are three people who, along with the five survivors who were pulled from the wreckage in Colombia, will probably suffer years and years of what’s known as “survivor’s guilt.” From Wikipedia:

Survivor syndrome, also known as concentration camp syndrome (or KZ syndrome on account of the German term Konzentrationslager), are terms which have been used to describe the reactions and behaviors of people who have survived massive and adverse events, such as the Holocaust, the Rape of Nanking, and the HIV/AIDS epidemic. They are described as having a pattern of characteristic symptoms including anxiety and depression, social withdrawal, sleep disturbance and nightmares, physical complaints and mood swings with loss of drive.^[6] Commonly such survivors feel guilty that they have survived the trauma and others—such as their family, friends, and colleagues—did not.

And judging from the photo that was taken of these three players in their locker room, I’d say that survivor’s guilt seems like a real thing.

How can these people balance the relief that they’re alive with the sadness that all of their teammates and friends are gone forever? It’s going to be a long, long road ahead. Hopefully their loved ones can help them move on in remembrance.

And in an attempt to help you cry even more, you might like to know that the Colombian team that Chapecoense was set to play against in the tournament championship, Atletico Nacional, has asked that Chapecoense be declared the winner of the tournament. It’s an extraordinary gesture and one that we know the fans will appreciate forever.

Furthermore, Paris-Saint Germain has announced they’ll donate €40 million to the club to help them rebuild with transfer fees.

Paris Saint-Germain Donating $40 Million To Chapecoense

In the wake of the tragic plane crash involving Brazilian club Chapecoense, the soccer community around

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Anton Meijer’s YouTube

A very unlucky resident in a Pretoria, South Africa apartment had an 8-foot venomous snake chilling in their toilet. Watch snake handler Barry Greenshields try to capture the gigantic cobra in the video below.

Jesus, that snake was terrifying. It legitimately looked like that son of a bitch was never-ending. You can’t tell because the video cut out, but the snake was able to get free from Greenshields’ grip and escape back down the drain. Goddammit Barry, you had one job!

Here’s UPI with more:

Residents said the snake has yet to reemerge since going back into the toilet last week, and they fear it could still be somewhere in the building’s pipes.

“We have put cameras in the pipes to look for it. Residents are still worried and some of them are feeling like if it comes up they want to kill it which is something I don’t want. I hope he has left through the pipes,” Greenshields told News24.

If I’m living in that apartment complex, I’m never going number two again until I see that snake’s head on a stick. I typically don’t condone harming animals, but until that monstrous beast is murdered no one in that building will be able to sleep soundly. There’s going to be chaos everywhere, with people peeing out of windows and having diets consisting of only cheese and Imodium. Sorry Barry, but that slippery bastard’s days are numbered.

WATCH: Lady Tackles A 6 Foot Long Snake

What in the actual hell? It’s a short video so there is literally no context,

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WATCH: Honey Bees Attacking The Fishing Spider Video

I can literally feel my skin crawling off of my body. Not sure why this

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Devastating fires in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and the surrounding areas have completely engulfed the mountain communities in a massive wildfire. The cause of the fires is believed to be arson, but the fires are spreading so rapidly because of unfortunate weather conditions.

“Everything was like a perfect storm,” Cassius Cash, superintendent of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, told local CNN affiliate WATE. The fires started because of an awful drought, then spread quickly because of the heavy wind, which caused some trees and power lines to go down, which in turn caused more fires. It’s a very awful situation for the residents and businesses in the area.

Via The Washington Post:

The hottest and driest autumn on record is fueling what the mayor of Gatlinburg, Tenn., is calling “a fire for the history books.” Hundreds of structures have been burned to the ground,14,000 residents were forced to flee for their lives, and though there were no reports of fatalities on Tuesday morning, at least four people are being treated for burns, three of which were classified as “severe.”

The fires sprung up so fast and spread so quickly that officials hadn’t been able to figure out how much ground the blazes actually covered on Tuesday morning.

How did this happen? In the immediate — strong winds, downed trees and live power lines sparking across dry autumn leaves. In the long-term — few tropical storms, months of drought and cold fronts that time and time again brought more wind than rain. Wildfires have been charring the landscape in the Great Smoky Mountains for months, and it was only a matter of time before they reached a community like Gatlinburg.

Gatlinburg Fire Videos: Must-See Videos Of Wildfire

Devastating fires in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and the surrounding areas have completely engulfed the mountain communities

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