Look – life can be hard, and sometimes we need help. And who knows how to do life better than you? Hot girls.
Luckily Georgia peach Jenna Hopkins is here to help. The gorgeous model took time out of her day to answer your toughest life questions, so listen up (and you’re welcome for the introduction, you ungrateful bastard).
Here’s what the model had to say about spiders, speaking French, and hairy butts:
I’m afraid of spiders. Is that a turn-off?
No worries! Just find yourself a real manly lady that can cut down trees and change a spare tire. You may have to do the cooking though.
If I drink as much beer as I do water, think I’ll be healthier?
Unfortunately, I think your pores will ooze alcohol and your breath will reek of Samuel Adams. A walking hangover, like yourself, usually reminds me of mine, and in turn I’d gag. The moral of the story: I’d throw up in your lap.
I told this girl I can speak French, but I can’t. What’s the fastest way to learn?!
Just ask Siri.
I have a hairy butt. Is that weird?
You are not alone – I have been with a man that got a starburst stuck in his butt hair before. Us girls are used to it.
Why do I have to sit through 50 Shades of Grey?
For two reasons: Girls either want you to take notes on how to be more exploratory in bed, or they want for you to learn how to become a multimillionaire. If it’s the latter, at least you know you’ll be single this summer. Go see it.
Why do girls tell their friends everything?
Because they’re either weak and can’t make decisions for themselves, or they’re bragging. Go for a girl that doesn’t gossip in the first place.
Why do girls like Ryan Gosling? I don’t get it.
Don’t worry. The only girls that find that woman attractive are lesbians and aren’t into men like yourself anyway.
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