What a glorious day it is to be alive.
It’s Friday Jr. and the NCAA Tournament starts today, which means Daddy (me) is gonna be getting a little drunk and doing a little sports gambling after work, kick the weekend off a little early.
Speaking of kicking off the weekend early, I have this one degenerate friend who actually took off from his super cushy job for the next two days to get hammered and gamble. What a time to be alive indeed.
Some personal news before we get started — yesterday I published my 5000th (!) article for COED, so I decided to write a little story about how I got here if you have any interest.
Anyway, to COED’s Quick Fix: Everything You Need To Know Today.
– Lil Dicky, aka The Time Traveler’s Wife, is BACK with a hilarious new single, “Freaky Friday”.
– Sean Bean discussed what he thinks Ned Stark’s last words were. I still miss you dearly, Ned.
– Brazilian soccer star Neymar Jr. may need to workshop his Stephen Hawking tribute, just a little bit:
– The NCAA Tournament kicks off today at 12:15. Today’s game schedule:
– To all of my avid gamblers out there, I have one thing to say to you before the weekend:
-The second leg of the Europa League Round of 16 is today, with Arsenal hosting AC Milan in the marquee matchup of the day:
-Last night’s NBA scores, even though the entire league is essentially on auto-pilot until the playoffs start:
News & Politics
– National School Walkout Day was yesterday, with hundreds of thousands of young adults across the country walking out of class to protest our nation’s gun laws:
-Democrat Conor Lamb won a Pennsylvania House Seat in a special election.
– Police responded to reports of a gunman on the Northwestern University campus, however, the reports turned out to be a hoax:
– A University of Idaho fraternity was shut down to hazing allegations.
– Drake … big Fortnite guy:
– Hey man, I think your scoreboard is broken:
– Summer is a mere three months away (kinda):
Hottest of the Day
– Genie Bouchard for SI:
– I still can’t decide if I find Cardi B attractive — a true existential crisis for ya boy:
– Rachel Bush’s body bottles the mind:
Quote of the Day
“Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos.” – The Joker