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If You’re Getting Laid Tonight, Avoid Broccoli & Hot Dogs

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Sex Food
In a highly educational article from the Daily Mail, we learned what foods to avoid when trying to bone. Basically it’s the best thing we’ve learned all day. Check out the full list below, and prepare to clean out your fridge.

Black Licorice – Linked to lower testosterone levels, which obviously contributes to libido. You’re an animal.

Cheese – It produces mucus… not much else needs to be explained here.

Beans – Will increase sluggishness, bloat, and gas. Delicious!

Chocolate – Apparently all chocolate is bad except for the dark kind – which produces a ton of serotonin – so go for that!

Hot Dogs – Allegedly, “the high saturated content of hot dogs can clog up the vaginal and penile arteries.” We have no idea what that means, but we do know that we don’t want it.

Peppermint – Will lower testosterone levels, and thus kill your sex drive. Don’t worry, breath mints are allllll good (don’t go in without one).

Tonic Water – Will decrease sexual function, which is totally cool, considering we’re not 40-year-old moms from Beverly Hills.

French Fries – A prime cause of sluggishness. Goodbye salty goodness, you can wait one day.

Red Meat – Will sit heavily in your stomach, causing lethargy. This is kind of great – no expensive dinners pre-banging. Chicks love that.

Tofu – Will decrease your testosterone levels. Luckily we have nothing to worry about, since that s**t is f**king disgusting.

Canned Food – It’s an energy sucker. Save the cans for another ten years.

Red Wine – Downing a bottle will lower your inhibitions, something we’ve witnessed first hand and see zero issue with.

Oatmeal – Uncontrollable flatulence, yikes. No one likes that.

Energy Drinks – Made to provide a short-lived energy kick that will lower your stamina that you’re going to need later, so steer clear.

Broccoli -Gas. Lots and lots of gas.


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