Yeah, we’re excited for Super Bowl XLIX, although we can’t figure out why Charli XCX isn’t the halftime act. Anyway, this is where we’re going to make a bunch of clever comments from the coin toss, and then maintain a running commentary on plays and the score. Older clever statements at the bottom, and more recent updates (and clever statements) at the top. Yeah, this’ll be fun. [photo: Elsa/Getty Images]
Also, that lead image isn’t an endorsement of the Patriots over the Seahawks tonight. We just like dirty jokes…
10:06: …and we’re done–although we’re sure those final minutes will get hotly debated into the night. Patriots win 28-24. Yeah. Also, we’re glad that we’re not fans of The Blacklist. Time to go out and have fun…
10:04: Football is an ugly game. More so during this Super Bowl.
9:59: Football is an exciting game. More so during this Super Bowl.
9:57: Damn, that’s some Flubber football action coming out of Jermaine Kearse’s juggling.
9:51: Hey. it’s a new Victoria’s Secret commercial. That would usually be a distraction at this point.
9:47: Yeah, this is more of the evenly-matched Super Bowl that we were expecting. The Patriots take the lead, 28-24. Robert Kraft probably isn’t even thinking about his girlfriend right now.
9:38: New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft seen in the stands, but no sign of his hot young girlfriend. That’s not going to inspire kids.
9:31: Here’s that extended Bud Light PacMan commercial…
9:27: That Youtube comment on Ted 2 just became a lot more funny (if sadly true) after that blown opportunity with Julian Edelman–and yet, it’s 24-21, with the Patriots back in the game.
9:16: Here’s that Ted 2 Super Bowl spot with Tom Brady–and Youtube makes you do age confirmation, because this version is a little more dirty. Best Youtube comment: “That spiral is the best thing Brady’s thrown tonight.” In related news, Seahawks still ahead, 24-14…
9:02: Here’s a gif of Katy Perry, in case you want to relive that happy moment while watching your savings circle the drain…
9:13: We almost forgot that the Church of Scientology spot was becoming a Super Bowl tradition.
8:55: Seahawks ahead, 24-14. Hey, have you heard about the Seahawks trying to win back-to-back Super Bowls this year? NBC doesn’t think you’ve heard it enough.
8:48: Snow beginning to fall in New York and New Jersey–which would’ve been a lot more traumatic if it had happened during the Super Bowl at this time last year.
8:37: Seattle Seahawks get their first lead of the night, 17-14; Patriots defense team happy there’s not another halftime.
8:32: People Least Likely to Have Enjoyed the Halftime Period: the Patriots defense.
8:00: Halftime! Check out Katy Perry. We can’t help you with pics of Lenny Kravitz.
7: 57: Tied at 14-14. This game moves fast when it moves.
7:48: Gronkowski just inspired a lot more erotic fan fiction. 14-7, Patriots–and we’re reminded that Tom Brady now equals Joe Montana for TD passes, 11-11.
7:41: Hey, it’s Sammy Davis, Jr.–which doesn’t make up for NBC being so lame that they can’t come up with a better post-game show to push than The Blacklist. You know, our ratio of game-to-commercial comments is getting kind of skewed.
7:37: Esurance looks set to win the Super Bowl ad competition–at least in terms of fun celebrity endorsements. Snickers has to settle for second.
7:35: Score tied 7-7. Still a chance that we’ll be able to keep our thumbs.
7:26: Yeesh, Nationwide Insurance–f’in buzzkill.
7: 16: Here’s that Furious 7 spot–which we’re pretty sure is also an ad for Mission: Impossible V….
7:13: We’re pretty sure that Coke ad was also an ad for The Lawnmower Man III.
7:11: New England in the lead, 7-0. All is proceeding as we have foreseen.
7:03: We thought that wolf was gonna eat the puppy, but the Budweiser Clydesdales came through again! Too bad that we bet $50 on the wolf.
6:58: Damn, that was a fast first quarter. Score is 0-0, so our hopes and finances haven’t been dashed yet. Cool.
6:52: Hey, it’s the Minions Super Bowl spot–right before the Danny Trejo/Steve Buscemi Snickers ad. We still don’t like you if you just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.
Fun fact: There are over 1,000 people running around the Super Bowl with media credentials. We’re in the office.
6:50: We’re still debating if the refs screwed up that first penalty call. Why’d the Patriots decline, anyway?
6:42: It took us a while to figure out that was a Tomorrowland spot. Pretty dull. This one is shorter, but better…
6:35: Official COED prediction: 20-17, Patriots. Unless that’s really embarrassingly wrong, in which case it was the prediction by that guy over there who we don’t even know. How’d he get in here?
6:30: Hey, here’s that Jurassic World commercial….
6:25: Seahawks win the coin toss! Damn, we had $50 riding on the Patriots.
