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Menu Scribbled On Crackhouse Walls Offers More Questions Than Answers

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This “menu”–for lack of a better term–that’s scribbled on a crack house wall is making its rounds on the internet this morning, and I have to admit that I’m really intrigued. I was never really interested in crack houses before, but now I feel a serious urge to know more.

Before we begin, read the thing first.

Crackhouse Menu

Crazy right?

Like, how the f*ck does a crack hoe have better handwriting than me? But that’s just the first of many, many questions that I have. Here are some others:

• Why is butt stuff only $2 more when my girlfriend won’t even do it when I take her out for a $100/plate dinner?

• What is a “Big Dog?” Is it your dog? Is it my dog? Why am I paying you to have sex with a dog when I could be the one getting Crystal’s sweet, sweet loving.

• What’s with the extra .50 for the Big Dog?

• Why don’t we need condoms? Is it because I’ll instantly die after having intercourse with Crystal?

• Is the brown bag a condom?

• Is it cheaper if I have a smaller dog?


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