Christmas looms in less than two weeks and Hannukah will be here come Tuesday. As a result, expect your campus to flow this weekend with eggnog, spiked gingerbread lattes, and sorority babes busting out sexy seasonal costumes in the guise of erotic elves, randy reindeer, a carnal Mrs. Claus, or maybe even a mouth-watering human menorah. [lead image Rob Carr / Getty Images]
With holiday parties hitting high gear in the days ahead, indoor and away-from-school activities offer some good alternatives or even sweet relief which, no doubt, we’re all destined to require as the bells start jingling for real now.
Here are the 13 coolest things to do this weekend.
Nick Offerman: American Ham
(Dec 12)
Parks and Recreation’s ultimate mustachioed man’s man debuts his new standup comedy special on Netflix, which is subtitled “10 Tips for a Prosperous Life.” Naturally, “Eat Red Meat” ranks high on the list, as does “Maintain a Relationshipt With Jesus Christ… If It’s Getting You Sex.”
Trail Blazers at Bulls
(Dec 12)
NBA Western Conference first-placers the Trail Blazers storm into Chicago where the 13-8 Bulls should prove to be formidable opponents. Of course, Portland’s beaten the Bulls in seven match-up straights, but that should only make all involved play harder and maybe even smarter.
Nas: Time Is Illmatic
(Dec 12)
The documentary Nas: Time Is Illmatic premieres tonight on Showtime. It chronicles the making of and the release of the rapper’s landmark 1994 LP Illmatic, as well as the twenty years of success, challenges, and the evolution of hip-hop that Nas has triumphantly negotiated ever since.
Rave of Thrones with Kristian Nairn
(Dec 12)
Kristian Nairn, the behemoth thespian who portrays the limited-vocabulary hulk Hodor on HBO’s Game of Thrones also happens to be a top-notch EDM disc jockey whose “Rave of Thrones” tour stops tonight in Nashville, Tennessee. Winter may be coming, but—holy sh!t!—Hodor is spinning.
James Brown: Live at the Boston Garden, April 5, 1968
(Dec 12)
After the April 4, 1968 assassination of Martin Luther King, American cities went up in flames. Particularly hard hit was Boston, where James Brown was scheduled to play the following night. In the interest of safety, the Godfather of Soul allowed the show to be televised, thereby keeping crowds indoors. Brown also performed especially brilliantly, as you can see on this glorious deluxe Blu-ray from Shout! Factory.
Army-Navy Game
(Dec 13)
America’s real teams take an afternoon off from defending us all to turn on one another, in sport, as the Midshipman and the Black Knights meet up for the 85th annual Army-Navy game. Navy’s won the last twelve contests, so prepare to see Army man its battle stations with intense fervor on the field in Baltimore. Fire away, everybody.
SNL with Martin Freeman
(Dec 13)
After starring on FX’s Fargo earlier this year and returning soon as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, Martin Freeman is hosting Saturday Night Live with musical guest Charlie XCX. He’s funny. She’s hot. We win!
30 for 30: The U Part 2
(Dec 13)
ESPN’s unbeatable documentary series 30 for 30 follows up its 2009 college sports exposé “The U” with, appropriately, “The U Part 2.” Tied to this year’s Heisman announcement, “Part 2” focuses on the University of Miami’s athletically first-rate but simultaneously scandal-embattled sports program in unflinching detail.
Santa Sent Me to the ER and Sex Sent Me to the ER: Holiday Hanky Panky
(Dec 13)
TLC’s ridiculous—and often ridiculously entertaining—emergency room reality TV specials get hurt for the holidays. The titles essentially reveal all: Santa Sent Me to the ER and Sex Sent Me to the ER: Holiday Hanky Panky. In the latter, expect at least one reference to “Back Door Santa.”
Alice Cooper’s Christmas Pudding
(Dec 13)
The ghoul king godfather of shock rock paints the holidays black with his annual all-star Christmas Pudding charity concert at the Comerica Theater in his adopted hometown of Phoenix. Amidst a full-scale merry mayhem theatrical production, this year’s guests include the E Street Band’s Nils Lofgren, Night Ranger, Jonny Lang–and, of course, Killer, Alice’s prehistoric-sized boa constrictor.
NFL Sunday
(Dec 14)
Week 15 of the NFL season is upon us. That means, of course, that all bets are very much on. Eyes, money, and the nervous systems of fantasy players everywhere will be especially focused on Broncos at Chargers, Packers at Bills, and 49ers at Seahawks. Remember, as you tear your hear out on Sunday, how much you’re going to miss this soon.
The Newsroom: Series Finale
(Dec 14)
Aaron Sorkin’s semi-maligned, largely ignored HBO series The Newsroom only generated real heat with last week’s episode—its very second-to-last outing. Controversy arose over the show’s handling of rape issues, which indicates Sorkin may be out of touch enough with social media lynch mobs that he’ll cause some real trouble with this swan song. Check it out and see if he’s still got a career come Monday morning.
Rev Run’s Happy Holidays
(Dec 14)
Rev Run reopens his famous house for a Cooking Channel special. Dishes include Ninjabread Men, Rev Run’s Always on Time Prime Rib, Justine’s Cheesy Buttermilk Garlic Mash, and Diggy’s Carrots. Praise the Lord and pass the Rev’s signature Rich and Creamy Hot Cocoa.
