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California, a place crammed with overly sweaty people, the pollution, colleges, and wildfires. So, if you are the type of person who loves all of those and loves the lack of water, California is the place for you to get a mediocre education. But, really, California has some excellent colleges, you just have to be careful of which ones you apply to. If you do choose the wrong California college, take our advice, transfer immediately. California College’s have something about them that separate themselves from the rest of the U.S., and we aren’t saying all those things are good. Here are some the best California College Stereotypes.
UC Berkeley
This is not only the college that you will never get into, but this is also the place you should stay away from if you would like to avoid being mugged. However, if you are attending UC Berkeley, the only things you will see on campus are weed, hippies, and nerds. That is all.
UCLA
Probably one of the most beautiful campuses, but with a beautiful campus comes with stuck up rich kids who think they own everything. UCLA students believe they are carrying around gold bars in their bags. Now, be aware when walking around the neighborhood outside the campus, you may accidentally walk into an orthodox Jew neighborhood. So, if you would like to live a peaceful life and not get yelled at by wealthy Jew don’t go to UCLA.
USC
If you attend this school, do not leave the campus. If you like your life and would like to see your future, we suggest not going to your dorm room. It’s a scary world outside of USC, a world your young eyes should not see. But, like most of you who won’t take my advice will take on the role of a USC student which is, University of Spoiled Children. You get a beautiful campus and some luxury Greek row, but you will forever be known as a douche.
UC Santa Barbara
Nothing matters at this school besides throwing parties. One of the most prominent party schools to attend, but forget about your future because alcohol is the only thing that will be teaching you the way of life. You will still get a degree, probably for how to properly play beer pong, but at least you graduated. Just don’t be upset when you are at a job interview, and they ask you what your good at and they get angry when you say shotgunning a beer. We will save you the time, you aren’t getting the job.
San Diego State (SDSU)
One of the drunkest schools in the country. You will know if people are attending SDSU because they are constantly sunburned, always stumbling with their alcohol-infused bodies, and somehow still have sand in their hair. If you want to be at the beach 24/7 and not get a good education, SDSU is the college for you. But, we must warn you all your money won’t be going into the school, it will be going into all the booze you will be drinking. Which doesn’t sound too bad to us?
