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The main difference between a mature personality and an immature one is the ability to admit mistakes, and you should do that not only in your head but also out loud. To apologize is an unpleasant and awkward moment, but it is an important communication tool, so you should know how to apologize properly. It would seem that it’s not difficult to mumble, “I didn’t mean to. I will not do it again.” However, often, you listen to only new reproaches from the offended person in response to an apology. Why is it so hard to believe in your remorse? What typical mistakes do you make, trying to apologize? How to apologize to someone you hurt deeply?
- I am sorry, but…
The worst thing you can do is to say, “but” after “sorry.” When you say this short but significant word, everything that you’ve said before it does not matter. Even if you used “but” just to unify the two thoughts, it sounds like you’re taking the apology back.
“I’m sorry, but …” after that, each of us expects to hear a flood of excuses, accusations, insults, in other words, a person expects to hear anything but not remorse. You can say, “I’m sorry” and then “but” only in the case when you are horseback riding, and you’ll ride off dramatically into the sunset after these words.
- You apologize in private if the conflict was public.
If you’ve offended a girl in public, you show your cowardice, apologizing privately. Sometimes, it seems that the conflict affects only you and your partner, but everyone who is present at the moment of scandal becomes its unwitting participant. How to properly apologize? A public apology shows your humility and respect for the woman. You hide your pride to change the situation. It is hard not to appreciate such a gesture.
- You don’t let her interrupt yourself.
How to apologize to a girl you found on a brides dating site? When a girl tries to interrupt you in the middle of a rant about repentance, try to listen to her. Doing that, you admit that you understand her feelings. In the end, it is not so important to say as many variations of the word “sorry” as possible, than to let the girl express her resentment.
- You analyze her.
An apology is not the best moment to psychoanalyze her. You shouldn’t dissect her feelings. It is important for the offended person that you realize the mistakes in your behavior. Attempts to find the objective causes of the conflict and to convince the girl that no one is to blame will only aggravate misunderstanding.
- You use exit strategy.
“Have I offended you? Oh, I’m sorry. And what do we have for dinner today?” Such a rapid shift from apologies to another topic does not hint at the depth of your repentance. How to properly apologize to a girl? There is no single rule on how long a tragic silence should last and when you can stop making a guilty face. However, it’s important to focus on an apology, and not to pronounce it as a season talk.
- You ask for an apology in return.
Try to keep from demanding a return apology even if you deserve it. This is another attempt to rehabilitate your ego as soon as possible, to change the subject or to look like a victim. Most likely, when a girl calms down, she will understand that she has been wrong. Trying to get an apology as soon as possible you will only aggravate tension.
- You don’t try to explain your action.
On the one hand, an apology causes violent outbursts on the part of the girl, on the other hand, you shouldn’t just say, “I’m sorry,” without explaining anything. The act of apology suggests that you’ve done something wrong. The girl probably wants to know why you’ve done that. Try to talk about actions and your thoughts at that very moment, but do not deny your guilt.
