The Return of the King. The Resurrection. Don’t Call It A Comeback. Yada Yada Yada. Kylie Jenner is BACK everyone and she’s here to do Kylie Jenner things. One second she’s writhing around in her underwear, the next she’s got a baby in hand. This is the world now we live in now people, so get used to it.
Back on January 24, 2017 — wayyy back when Kylie still was dating Tyga’s bum ass — I wrote this:
Does she send my life spiraling into an existential crisis about whether principle should factor into how I attracted I am to someone? Absolutely. But does she look good, plastic or not, 99% of the time we see her? Sure. So, you know what –Westworld-levels of questioning my reality be damned —- I’m going to enjoy Kylie Jenner this year.
Which allllll leads me to believe she is about to do something f*cking mindblowing this year. I’m not sure what, but she’s going to do something that out-virals her older sister Kim.
This is a chick that’s not f*cking around anymore. She’s about to turn 20 this year, so you know the Kardashian Empire is scheming something huge. Kim is getting old and worn out and Kylie is just ready to explode. I don’t want to get my hopes up too early, but if the Kardashian’s do drop a Kylie Jenner tape this year, they may literally break the internet.
Not to Steve Bannon/Marilyn Manson myself too hard here, but I absolutely nailed it with that analysis. Yes, Kylie ultimately delivered a child rather than a sex tape, but it was an internet-breaking, media-dominating movie nonetheless, just as I had predicted.
As we all now know, Kylie and boyfriend Travis Scott gave birth to Stormi Webster on February 1, 2018, so in honor of her daughter’s one-month birthday, Jenner decided to do what she does best — Instagram mirror selfies: