BYU Has Finally Started Serving Soda & The Students Can’t Contain Themselves

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You know how Florida sometimes seems like another country because of how batshit crazy it can be? I get that vibe from Utah, only on the opposite end of the spectrum — if Florida is Donald Trump, then Utah is Bernie Sanders: both totally bonkers extremes on other sides of the spectrum.

For example, it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a Floridian who was able to piss actual soda. Is that realistic? Absolutely not. But if it were to happen anywhere, it’d be in Florida, right? Exactly.

But now we travel to the other end of the spectrum, Brigham Young University, where SODA has been banned since the 1950’s. F*cking Utah man — multiple wives but if you want even ONE of the 21 flavors in Dr. Pepper, you’re shit outta luck.

via BYU.edu:

In the mid 1950s, the director of BYU Food Services decided not to sell caffeinated soft drinks. This decision has continued on since that time. Until more recently, Dining Services rarely received requests for caffeinated soda. Consumer preferences have clearly changed and requests have become much more frequent.

We have already started adding caffeinated soft drinks to the inventory of beverages we sell on campus. Although we are now offering canned and bottled caffeinated soft drinks, it will take longer to change out our fountain equipment.

We realize that there are many choices to be made, and some are more nutritious than others. We strive to offer a variety of food choices and encourage our customers to make healthy choices. We encourage our patrons to visit the Dining Services website where a program is available to promote not only healthy eating, but also a healthy lifestyle. The program is referred to on the website as EAT: Eat, Act, Think.

This decision was not based on financial considerations. We are simply working to meet the preferences of our customers.

Naturally, the BYU students had a field day with the announcement

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