The world is filled with more strange sh*t than you can shake a stick at. Seriously, real life can be wackier than the wildest film or TV show. Around each corner, you may find some oddball story. Maybe that cooky yarn will unravel into something so deliciously disgusting that it becomes fit for print. But before you go out into the world on the search for an insane tale, stick around and check this out…
Yet again, I’ve brought together a collage of the top 5 craziest f**king stories on the web. This week’s edition features a pizza lover for college, crack for people who lack knowledge, illegal conversations with police, juggling paper to prove your case, and no selfies for baby seals.
Tennessee teen writes essay about ordering pizza, gets accepted to Yale
I sh*t you not, folks! This teen from Tennessee wrote a short essay to apply for Yale University, and this essay is about her love for ordering Papa John’s pizza. And guess what? They thinks she’s 100% Yale material. Ravenwood High School graduate Carolina Williams was accepted by Yale in March 2017. The short essay question asked the applicant what they love to do, and you already know Carolina’s answer.
Don’t let this silly answer steer you wrong about Ms. Williams. She ranked in the top 10 of her graduating class. She was also active in multiple extracurricular activities (I’m sure this involved pizza at some point or another).
Even though the ivy league giant accepted Carolina, she decided to pursue her higher educational pursuits elsewhere. She’s decided to head over to Alabama to pursue a business degree at Auburn University. She finds that school to be a better fit and she enjoys their scholarship options.
Pennsylvania man is lonely and intoxicated, so he keeps calling 9-1-1 to spark a conversation
Most people dial 9-1-1 when there’s an absolute emergency, but one person thought it’d be a good idea to call police just to shoot the sh*t. This is the story of 51-year-old Larry Keiser, who first called the Pennsylvania State Police at 10:30 P.M. on a Friday night. He requested to speak with an officer, but had no emergency to report. Keiser called police five more times, which prompted officers to appears at his North Whitehall Township residence around midnight. So, basically this dude called 9-1-1 a total of six times in the span of about an hour and a half. No emergency to report. Just, what’s up?
Keiser told the cops that he was upset about a family issue and drank several beers. The officers warned the intoxicated man to not call 9-1-1 again unless it was a true emergency. Keiser agreed with the troopers and they went back to their station, and all seemed well in the world again. You’d think this guy learned his lesson. Nope. He calls 9-1-1 the minute after officers leave his property.
The police returned to his home and put this silly 51-year-old man in handcuffs. He has been charged with calling 911 for other than emergency purposes.
Cops put about $1,600 worth of crack in their “lost and found” box
Police from northeastern Pennsylvania are just trying to return this crack to its rightful owner. A serious sh*t-load of crack was found in the parking lot of a shopping center just outside Wilkes-Barre. That’s about $1,600 worth of crack-cocaine, which is a whole lot of rock.
Wilkes-Barre Township police went on social media to tell the public about their finding. On the department’s Facebook page, you can find the headline “FOUND ITEM,” which invites whoever is missing this crack to show up at the police station and claim this illicit property worth so much money on the streets. All that crack has been placed in the police’s “lost and found” box.
To win this prize, which probably contains a prison sentence, you’ll need to hold up the crack and an identification card for the camera. You’ll also have to fill out a written statement “containing your claim to the crack.”
Is anyone really that stupid? Either way, the police can be some funny motherf**kers.
Judge says “no” to Robbery Suspect who requested to juggle for the jury
A Massachusetts judge has struck done a plea from an alleged clown who wants to juggle in court to clear up his robbery charge. Orlando Melendez has been charged with the attempted robbery of a convenience store with a toy gun. But Melendez think this is all a big misunderstanding.
Melendez thinks he can prove his innocence by juggling three wads of paper for 20 seconds in the courtroom. He will be representing himself, and claims in his written motion to be “a real clown.”
The 20-year-old man has plead not guilty for the alleged attempted robbery in December. Jury selection will begin on June 8th, 2017.
The judge from Springfield, Massachusetts, doesn’t want to see this guy juggle. I don’t see the harm in letting this guy prove his case in this incredibly strange manner. Hopefully, he’s no joke in the courtroom.
U.S. Officials Warn: No Selifes With Seal Pups!
Little baby seals are cute aquatic critters. But they are not game for your selfie shenanigans. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s fisheries office says that pupping season is currently underway in the New England area. Adorable baby seals will start popping up on beaches in Red Sox land.
The NOAA has warned the public to avoid taking selfies around these tiny seal pups. They may be freakin’ cute, but control yourself, people!
Mother seals are known to leave heir pups alone for as long as 24 hours. So, you may see those adorable pups lying on the beach all alone without an adult seal standing guard. But if the mother returns and sees someone taking a selfie next to her pride and joy, she might feel threatened and leave her pup behind for good. Just because you felt the need to take a cute selfie, now this baby seal will probably die.
The NOAA has instructed people and their pets to stay at least 150 feet away from those seals (adult or pup). If you don’t comply with those orders, you may just endanger the well-being of such beautiful creatures of the sea.
Flashback to last week’s Weird News
Last week, we found out all about:
- Old Woman from Florida finds an iguana in the toilet, so naturally, she dials 911
- Guy drives drunk in the parking lot of the New York State Police Academy
Car vs. Alligator: SUV flips over multiple times after hitting 9-foot-long beast
- Cool Old Dude: WWII Veteran breaks world skydiving record at 101-years-old
“Uncle Fat” Chunky Monkey is put on diet after eating way too much junk food
Flashback to COED’s Guide To Weird News Vol. 1
Last week, we found out all about:
- The Legend of the Half-Naked Man and his Thirst for Beer
- Teen who Arrives at her Prom in a Coffin
- Mother Got Son Arrested for Stealing Stew, Two Years Later: Charges Dropped
- The Adorable Story of a 17-foot Python who found his way Home
- Suicidal Deer Licks the Barrel Of Hunter’s Gun
- Bonus: Tennessee Church is undercover Swinger’s Joint