The Kentucky Derby has come to a close. Some people won big time, while others may have lost their house (I’m not kidding). I was almost peer-pressed into chipping in a couple of bucks to gamble on the race. Good thing I didn’t because the horse I picked lagged far behind. Let’s just say that Practical Joke didn’t win first place and leave it like that. Okay, it was fifth place. I was planning on choosing the fifth place horse. Happy?
But which horse won first place? There’s a reason I waited this long to break the news: I want people to click on my articles and not read it all in the preview. Okay, I’ll cut the sh*t and tell you who won. It was a horse named Always Dreaming.
Legendary gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson once called the Kentucky Derby “Decadent and Depraved.” You be the judge.
Here’s a quick glimpse of the 2-minute spectacle. Watch the world’s most famous horse race!
2017 Kentucky Derby Results
Winner: Always Dreaming
Place: Lookin at Lee
Show: Battle of Midway
4th Place: Classic Empire
5th Place: Practical Joke
6th Place: Tapwrit
7th Place: Gunnevera
8th Place: McCraken
9th Place: Gormley
10th Place: Irish War Cry
11th Place: Hence
12th Place: Untrapped
13th Place: Girvin
14th Place: Patch
15th Place: J Boys Echo
16th Place: Sonneteer
17th Place: Fast And Accurate
18th Place: Irap
19th Place: State Of Honor
Last Place: Thunder Snow
2017 Kentucky Derby Betting Payouts
Horse: Always Dreaming
Win: $11.40
Place: $7.20
Show: $5.80
Horse: Looking at Lee
Place: $26.60
Show: $15.20
Horse: Battle of Midway
Show: $20.80
$2 Exacta (5-1): $336.20
$1 Trifecta (5-1-11): $8,297.20
$1 Superfecta (5-1-11-14): $75,974.50
2017 Kentucky Derby Purse Distribution
1st Place: $1.24 million
2nd Place: $400,000
3rd Place: $200,000
4th Place: $100,000
5th Place: $60,000
Kentucky Derby Memes: Funny Photos, Best Jokes & Pictures in 2017
