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Today is Valentine’s Day (sigh). Yes, it’s a totally commercial holiday that is less about love and more about selling cheesy cards, overpriced flowers and stale chocolates. But still, we’re all only human and, admittedly, it does suck to be alone on Valentine’s Day. But instead of moping around all down and dour today, we say embrace the solitude. Let’s, for once, be proud that we are single on Valentine’s Day! Girlfriends/boyfriends suck.

In an effort to promote our independence, we want to put a smile on your lonely faces today, so we collected the best and most hilarious memes all about being single on Valentine’s Day. Stroll through our gallery and stand tall for rolling solo on February 14.

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(Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

After 21 years of serving as an assistant coach at the college level, Geoff Collins is finally a head coach. Collins is making the most out of his head coaching opportunity at Temple University, as he recently hired the first ever S.W.A.G. coordinator in college football.

Here’s ESPN with the scoop on Collins hiring Dave Gerson to be their S.W.A.G. coordinator.

Dave Gerson’s official title with the Owls will be multimedia coordinator: specialist with advanced graphics (SWAG). He will “develop and showcase an array of graphic designs for social media usage,” according to a news release, and help new Temple coach Geoff Collins promote the program to recruits and fans.

Gerson has spent the past six seasons with the Temple program, most recently as a graduate assistant in football operations. He has worked in the recruiting department before.

When I first clicked on the ESPN article, I thought the job was about literal swag. I assumed the position would be all about dumb shit like teaching kids how to dab and dress like Russell Westbrook. But now that I know it’s just an abbreviation for putting cool stuff on social media, I’m all for it. You’ve gotta reach recruits any way you can, and this seems like a damn good strategy in this day and age.

My only advice to Gerson is to stay away from weather balloon videos. They are way too risky of a proposition.

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Men have been trying to impress females with grandiose gestures since the beginning of time. Most of the time, it’s innocent stuff like putting a sweater over a puddle or buying flowers on Valentine’s Day. But other times, it’s more intense behavior like challenging dudes to fistfights or trying athletic maneuvers you’re clearly not capable of.

We got one of the latter variety today, as this uncoordinated schmuck took a nasty spill off of an escalator rail in a courting disaster.

I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty certain arms aren’t supposed to bend like that. While I’m sure he’s in a world of hurt, I hope that he didn’t regret his decision. A woman flashing her underwear and sliding down an escalator might be the most powerful aphrodisiac of all-time.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t fight nature. It was in his DNA to slide down that rail like it was an ancient mating ritual. Hell, I’m as level-headed as they come, and even I’d do my best Joseph Gordon-Levitt impression from The Walk if I thought I had a shot with a minx like that.

Every single Star Wars fan is desperate for any and all tidbits of information regarding the upcoming sequel The Last Jedi. Some thought the first trailer would drop during the Super Bowl while others are now eagerly awaiting the annual Star Wars Celebration in April for their first glimpse of footage. Perhaps they won’t have to wait any longer for the juicy details.

Mike Zeroh, who has a solid track record of accurate Star Wars scoops, unearthed a 4Chan post that claimed to be a detailed breakdown of the upcoming trailer. The post was quickly taken down, but not before other outlets got their eyes on it. It’s important to remember that these details are unconfirmed, so take them with a grain of space salt you scruffy-looking nerf herders.

According to the post, the first Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer will take a page out of The Force Awakens‘ book, kicking off with John Boyega’s Finn waking up from a “nightmare/coma,” sweating profusely in the medical bay. The next shot will feature Oscar Isaac’s Poe Dameron barreling into a room on a ship and announcing, “They’re here.”

GamesRadar has more information:

“The main scene from the trailer is a man in black (rumored to be the role Benicio del Toro is playing) firing on a ‘procession of mourners’ in a city, with Poe, Finn, a new character (played by Kelly Marie Tran) and BB-8 looking shocked (or as shocked as a droid can look).”

After that we see the late Carrie Fisher’s General Leia saying “their shadow is growing,” presumably referring to The First Order. Then Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis) steps out from the shadows. Serkis will reprise the role via motion capture and he is apparently joined by Domhnall Gleeson’s General Hux in the trailer. “Is he alive?” Snoke asks Hux. “Barely,” the general answers. “Good. The time has come for a family reunion,” Snoke says menacingly.

Are they referring to Luke Skywalker or Kylo Ren? So many questions.

The IB Times has more information:

“The music up until now is dark, and it becomes upbeat from here. Finn bursts into a meeting between Leia and her advisers, and screams ‘they’re back.’ Leia isn’t surprised. The next shot is that of the Millennium Falcon flying out into the sky from under the waves of a sea. A lot of TIE fighters swarm in space.”

At this point, hordes of Stormtroopers are retreating… except for Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie). A lightsaber ignites and a blue flash is seen across her chrome helmet. Interesting.

Luke Skywalker will remain absent from the trailer just as he (largely) did in the promotional material for The Force Awakens. However, the post does claim that he ends the trailer with a voiceover saying, “everything will die with us.” Is he talking to Rey about the Jedi?

Again, this report is unconfirmed so there’s no telling how accurate it is. But, as mentioned before, Zeroh has been reliable in the past. If true, the highly anticipated sequel sounds intense and absolutely amazing. We’ll just have to wait to find out.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Release date: December 15, 2017
Director: Rian Johnson
Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Mark Hamill, Benecio del Toro, Carrie Fisher, Kelly Marie Tran, Carrie Fisher, Laura Dern

Mike Lawrie/Getty Images

LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers will invade the Target Center tonight. The Cavs will look to conquer the Timberwolves once again. The Cleveland team has beaten this Minnesota squad on five consecutive occasions by an average of almost 20 points a game (19.6 ppg). Can the Timberwolves turn their luck around and gain ground in Game 54 of the 2016-2017 NBA season?

The Cavaliers are currently the #1 ranked team in the NBA’s Eastern Conference, with 37 wins and 16 loses. Meanwhile, the Timberwolves are far from that #1 spot in their own conference. This Minnesota team is ranked #13 in the NBA’s Western Conference, with 21 wins and 34 loses. These wolves have lost a lot more games than they have won, and they’ll probably lose again tonight to LeBron’s squad.

Can the Timberwolves pull off a highly unlikely victory? Or will the Cavs conquer the Target Center tonight? Look below & find out how you can watch the Cleveland Cavaliers take on the Minnesota Timberwolves on your computer, television, tablet or mobile device.

Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Minnesota Timberwolves Viewing Details

Date: Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Time: 8:00 P.M. EST
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
TV Channel: NBAt, FSN, FSOH
Live Stream: FOX Sports

How To Watch Cavaliers vs. Timberwolves Live Stream Online

Got an internet connection? Good. But you will need a cable or satellite subscription to log-in. You will also need to have a subscription to Fox Sports 1 on either cable or satellite. If you got this then you’re in good standing to watch today’s showdown between the Timberwolves and the Cavaliers. This is a game you most likely won’t want to miss. See if the Cleveland team can take down the Timberwolves in their own backyard. Just log-in at Fox Sports Go to see the game live and online.

Watch Cavaliers vs. Timberwolves Live Stream Online Without Cable Subscription

And there’s one more option to see this Minnesota showdown if you don’t have access to cable, but do have access to an internet connection. This option comes in the form of Sling TV, which provides a $20 monthly fee, but if you listen closely, you can see the Cavs battle the Timberwolves for free! Watch these two teams go to war without having to pay a penny! Sling Orange offers 30+ channels for $20 a month, while Sling Blue offers 40+ channels for $25 per month. But both offer ESPN, so each one is a win/win!

Just click on the Sling website, you’ll find a light blue bar with those wonderful words (and that very lucky number) “Watch Now 7 Days Free” – if you wanna see the game live and online then you’re not going to want to pass up on this great offer!

How To Watch Cavaliers vs. Timberwolves Live Stream On Mobile/Tablet

Got a Sling TV subscription? Good! You’ll need it to access the Sling TV app, which you can download for free on Xbox One, Roku, Amazon App Store, Apple TV, and last but most definitely not least Google Play Store.

Don’t have a Sling TV subscription? You do have another way to watch the game on your mobile device. Have access to a PlayStation 3 or 4? If you do, you can sign up for PlayStation Vue. You can start your free trial now. If you’re satisfied with your service then you can sign up for packages, ranging from $39.99 to $74.99 a month.

Michael Reaves/Getty Images

There will be plenty of UFC action taking place in March, with three must-see events going down over the course of the month. The most anticipated card is the first one, as Tyron Woodley and Stephen Thompson are fully prepared to beat each other’s brains in for the UFC Welterweight Championship at UFC 209.

But there are still intriguing matchups later in the month, as we have two UFC Fight Night cards. Middleweights Vitor Belfort and Kelvin Gastelum will face off at UFC Fight Night 106, and light heavyweights Jimi Manuwa and Corey Anderson will headline the UFC Fight Night 107 card.

That’s enough intro talk for one day. Let’s get down to brass tacks and break down the upcoming UFC fight schedule for March.

UFC 209: Woodley vs. Thompson 2

Date: Saturday, March 4, 2017
Time: 6:30 p.m. ET
Location: T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada
TV Channel: PPV

There will be a rematch in the UFC 209 headliner, as Tyron Woodley and Stephen Thompson will face off in the octagon for the UFC Welterweight Championship for the second time. At UFC 205 on November 12, 2016, Woodley retained his belt by coming away with a majority draw decision against Thompson. Two judges scored the fight 47-47, while the third judge had Woodely winning 48-47. All signs point to another closely contested battle this time around.

UFC Fight Night 106: Belfort vs. Gastelum

Date: Saturday, March 11, 2017
Time: 6:30 p.m. ET
Location: Centro de Formação Olímpica do Nordeste in Fortaleza, Brazil
TV Channel: FS1

Vitor Belfort and Kelvin Gastelum will duke it out in a middleweight bout at the UFC Fight Night 106 main event. The 39-year-old Belfort is from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and he will need the support of his home country in the worst way. Belfort desperately needs a win, as he has lost his last two fights, getting knocked out by both Ronaldo Souza and Gegard Mousasi.

On the other hand, Gastelum is riding a two-fight winning streak. The 25-year-old picked up a unanimous decision over Johny Hendricks at UFC 200, and he knocked out Tim Kennedy at UFC 206.

UFC Fight Night 107: Manuwa vs. Anderson

Date: Saturday, March 18, 2017
Time: 6:30 p.m. ET
Location: The O2 Arena in London, England
TV Channel: FS1

The final UFC event of March will feature light heavyweights Jimi Manuwa and Corey Anderson throwing down in the headliner. Manuwa will have the crowd behind him, as even though he was born in Sacramento, California, he fights out of London, England. The 37-year-old won his most recent fight, knocking out Ovince Saint Preux in the second round of their UFC 204 bout.

As for Anderson, the 27-year-old from Rockford, Illinois also won his last fight. At UFC Fight Night 102 on December 9, 2016, he knocked out Sean O’Connell in the second round.

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The women of WWE SmackDown Live are both beautiful and brutal. They’ll kick ass and look amazing doing it. They’ll return to the ring tonight to fight. But before they get rough in the ring, these ladies gave the WWE Universe a Valentine’s day gift in the form of a red hot photo shoot.

Come celebrate Valentine’s Day with Alexa Bliss, Naomi, Nikki Bella & Maryse. Here’s a behind the scenes look into WWE diva heaven:

Nikki Bella

WWE/YouTube

Nikki Bella is the longest reigning WWE Divas Champion of all time. She is also the longtime girlfriend of 16-time World Champion John Cena. Nikki has been involved in a heated rivalry with fellow Total Divas star Natalya, who has made disparaging remarks about Nikki and John’s relationship. Nikki tried to shut Nattie up at WWE Elimination Chamber 2017, but both superstars were counted out of the match. The beef between Nikki and Natalya rages on.

Naomi

Valerie Macon/Getty Images

Naomi is fresh off her victory at the Elimination Chamber pay per view. She defeated Alexa Bliss to become the new WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion. Naomi has come a long way since dancing with “The Funkasourous” Brodus Clay. She went from FCW to NXT to WWE, and now’s she finally champion. Naomi is bringing the glow to SmackDown Live every Tuesday night. But now, she’ll turn up the heat for Valentine’s Day.

Alexa Bliss

WWE/YouTube

Alexa Bliss entered the new year riding high on a wave of confidence. She held her WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship high over her head. Her world came crashing down Sunday night when she lost her championship to Naomi. Now, Bliss is on the hunt to regain her gold.

Maryse

WWE/YouTube

Maryse is the wife and valet of WWE superstar Mike “The Miz” Mizanin. You can see her every Tuesday night on the USA network, alongside her husband on WWE SmackDown Live. You can also catch Maryse anytime you want on the WWE Network for only $9.99 per month (the first month’s free). You can go back in time when Maryse dominated WWE’s Women’s Division. She’s a former two-time WWE Divas Champion, and held onto the gold for 265 days over the span of two title reigns.

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Ethan Miller/Getty Images

We’ve got three big-time UFC events on tap for the month of April, but the most excitement is definitely for the first card of the month. At UFC 210, Daniel Cormier will defend his UFC Light Heavyweight Championship against Anthony Johnson. There’s nothing quite like a championship fight, as the electricity in the air is palpable.

But don’t you dare discount the other two events. UFC on FOX 24 will be the first UFC event ever held in Kansas City or the entire state of Missouri, while UFC Fight Night 108 will feature an exciting main event between featherweights Cub Swanson and Artem Lobov.

Now that you know what to expect from the UFC in April, let’s break down all of the fireworks that will take place over the course of the month.

UFC 210: Cormier vs. Johnson 2

Date: Saturday, April 8, 2017
Time: 6:30 p.m. ET
Location: KeyBank Center in Buffalo, New York
TV Channel: PPV

This will be just the second ever UFC card held in Buffalo, and the first since UFC 7 all the way back in 1995 when the sting of Buffalo Bills’ four straight Super Bowl losses was still fresh. Daniel Cormier and Anthony Johnson will headline UFC 210 in a bout for the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship. This is a rematch of their UFC 187 fight on May 23, 2015, where Cormier won the vacant title via a rear-naked choke submission.

UFC on FOX 24

Date: Saturday, April 15, 2017
Time: 4:00 p.m. ET
Location: Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri
TV Channel: FOX

UFC has yet to announce the main event for UFC on FOX 24, but we currently know of four fights that will be on the card. As of now, here are the bouts that are scheduled to take place at the first ever UFC event in Missouri.

Women’s Strawweight: Rose Namajunas vs. Michelle Waterson
Flyweight: Tim Elliott vs. Louis Smolka
Middleweight: Devin Clark vs. Jake Collier
Middleweight: Anthony Smith vs. Andrew Sanchez

UFC Fight Night 108: Swanson vs. Lobov

Date: Saturday, April 22, 2017
Time: 6:30 p.m. ET
Location: Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tennessee
TV Channel: FS1

Featherweights Cub Swanson and Artem Lobov will battle in UFC Fight Night 108’s main event. Both Swanson and Lobov will come into the bout on winning streaks, as Swanson has won his last three fights and Lobov has won his last two.

The 33-year-old Swanson has won three straight unanimous decisions, picking up victories over Hacran Dias on April 16, 2016, Tatsuya Kawajiri on August 6, 2016, and Doo Ho Choi on December 10, 2016. The 30-year-old Lobov’s victories were also of the unanimous decision variety, as he beat Chris Avila on August 20, 2016 and Teruto Ishihara on November 19, 2016.

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(Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

Scarlett Johansson is newly single and she’s coming out absolutely SWINGING. Fresh off of divorcing French journalist (which is literally maybe the lamest combination of nationality and profession, ever)Romain Dauriac, Johansson recently sat down with Playboy to talk about women’s marches, her new movies, and yes, monogamy.

Needless to say, her new-found opinion on it is music to our ears.

via Playboy:

‘I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it’s a beautiful idea, and the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing. I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person.

I might be skewered for that, but I think it’s work. It’s a lot of work. And the fact that it is such work for so many people—for everyone—the fact of that proves that it is not a natural thing.

It’s something I have a lot of respect for and have participated in, but I think it definitely goes against some instinct to look beyond.’

Like I said, SWINGING. How shitty do you feel if you’re Mr. Dauriac? Top 10 hottest chick in the world, who you had LOCKED DOWN, is now publicly shitting all over the the very thing that  two shared together. Ouch, bro.

That said, if I’d want anyone to divorce my sorry ass, I’d want it to be Scarlett Johansson.

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As preposterous as this teacher is, you gotta feel for him. You KNOW the kid who’s been pissing him off has probably been an insufferable douche bag for the entire semester. At some point you’re going to snap — it’s only human.

Except teacher’s are literally paid not to snap, so it’s tough to find a way to defend this dude. At the end of the day, despite how hard they may try, some students are just going to be assholes. You can’t let it get to you.

‘I am asking for a bit of effort. I am asking you for a bit of effort to learn this. We are taking 20 minutes to learn this, 20 f*****g minutes’, the teacher says to the disrespectful student.

The student, who is wearing a blue hat and white shirt and is believed Dani Mateo, reponds: ‘I am paying for this, retard, am not I?’

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

 ‘What? How dare you say retarded? Perhaps you should stop even trying and do b****r all Dani Mateo, I cannot afford it otherwise.’

WWE

SmackDown is reeling from a devastating Elimination Chamber event. Bray Wyatt is the new WWE World Champion. But John Cena & AJ Styles are hungry to reclaim the gold in a triple threat main event match. Can Wyatt overcome two of SmackDown‘s top superstars?

We also have a new WWE SmackDown Women’s Champion. Naomi defeated Alexa Bliss on Sunday for the gold. Tonight, she’ll want everyone to feel the glow as she celebrates her championship victory.

Plus, “The Lunatic Fringe” Dean Ambrose will be looking for revenge against “The Lone Wolf” Baron Corbin. All this and more on another compelling edition of WWE SmackDown Live:

WWE SmackDown Live Viewing Details

Date: Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Time: 8:00 P.M. EST/ 5:00 P.M. PST
TV Channel: USA
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, CA

WWE SmackDown Live Results

Who will win and who will lose? Look below and you will know!

Intro: In-Ring Segment w/ Bray Wyatt, John Cena & AJ Styles

I’ll just sum up this segment: John Cena thinks Wyatt’s fans are brainwashed and wants to take match his title. AJ Styles comes out and wants a title match as well. The “Yes Man” Daniel Bryan comes out to resolve the dispute. He announces a triple threat match for the WWE World Championship.

American Alpha vs. The Ascension

All of a sudden, The Ascension aren’t jobs anymore. They didn’t win, but they still looked strong. American Alpha, on the other hand, looked sick.

American Alpha defeats The Ascension

Backstage Segment

Dean Ambrose is still looking for Baron Corbin. He notices James Ellsworth and Carmella. Ambrose tells Ellsworth that Carmella is using him and that he should stick to online dating. Carmella tells Ellsworth to stand up for her, and Ellsworth follows suit (kinda). Ambrose says he looks like a schmuck.

Daniel Bryan comes out of nowhere, and announces another match for the evening: Dean Ambrose will wrestle James Ellsworth.

James Ellsworth vs. Dean Ambrose

We’re back from commercial break, Ellsworth and Carmella are in the ring. Ellsworth and Carmella cut a promo. The chinless hero calls the Princess of Staten Island his “boo.”

Dean Ambrose’s music hits. We see Ambrose being dragged by Corbin on the entrance ramp. Ambrose and Corbin start brawling. The Lone Wolf sends Ambrose hurling into some electrical equipment.

Match never happened.

WWE SmackDown Live: Announced Matches

1. Triple threat match for the WWE World Championship: Bray Wyatt (c) vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles
2. American Alpha vs, The Ascenson
3. Dean Ambrose vs. James Ellsworth
4. Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

For Honor sets out to prove that guns are for wusses. True warriors slug it out with their strength, reflexes and wits in hand-to-hand combat. A new hybrid fighting and action franchise meant to provide yet another pillar in Ubisoft’s frontal assault on the gaming world, For Honor pits you on an unforgiving battlefield, where the only way to survive is to outwit and overpower the guy in front of you. The bone-jarring sensation of clashing iron makes you feel the thrills and agonies of the origins of warfare.

Games: For Honor
Consoles: Xbox One (reviewed), PS4, PC
Publisher: Ubisoft
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Release Date: February 14

If Ubisoft and its array of in-house developer squads have proven anything over the years, it’s that they are dedicated students of history. Whether its games have guided you through iconic Renaissance-era rooftops in Assassin’s Creed games or winded through caveman-era survival struggles in Far Cry Primal, the developers have always strived at transporting you into times and places nothing like what you’re used to seeing. That rings true in For Honor, which rounds up Warborn (Vikings), Chosen (Samurai) and Legion (kinghts) warrior factions — each subdivided into speed, balanced and tank subclasses — who are pitted against one another and must slug it out with swords and shields, spilling their blood to take over territory and resources. While nothing close to this scenario ever happened in the past, this “what if?” setting stays true to the spirit of each culture with authentic weaponry and armor.

Equally as imposing as the attention to detail are the merciless demands of combat. When locked in one-on-one face-offs, you become locked in an ever-shifting game of rock-paper-scissors, adjusting your stances, aiming strategies, rhythms and defenses to eke out whatever edge you can muster over the enemy. Despite the immediacy of the action, you may find your patience stretched beyond the breaking point due to the way combat favors turtling, parrying and counterattacks over free-wheeling slashing. Give the systems time to sink into your blood and you’ll find yourself taking to its methodical pacing. It’s a thrill to play rope-a-dope and cut your way closer and closer to victory, breaking your opponent down physically as well as mentally.

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Multiplayer modes are expansive and diverse, pitting you against opponents in one-on-one throwdowns, as well as stretching things out to 2-on-2 and 4-on-4. If you haven’t put in the work to learn the nuances of your chosen warrior, expect to be systematically taken apart by your enemies, agonizingly pounded for the duration of matches and being heavily tempted to rage-quit. Communication becomes even more key in team matches than it does in shooters, because an effectively coordinated flank attack can quickly take down an enemy and turn the tide of battle. Being paired with clueless teammates can mean swift, ugly deaths.

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If ever there were a game designed strictly for the Renaissance Fair set, For Honor is it. It strives to feed you the nuts and bolts of what sword and axe-swinging battles were actually like, and for both better and worse it succeeds masterfully. It’s sort of amazing that a game this obstinately stiff and slow can be released in this age of ever-quickening thrills and cheap, jetpack and wall-running gimmicks, this is a game geared toward refined gamers who appreciate the era when you had to stare an enemy in the eye to take his life. The slow, savage path to weapons and defense mastery is satisfying, even if you sometimes wish you could pull out an AK to lay waste to your unforgiving, ironbound opponents.

ORDER: For Honor here

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For Honor Reviews Around The Web:

“We’ll have to see what wears out first — my bloodlust, or my patience with being treated like an open wallet.” –Destructoid

“Coming out on top in a fight is more about patience and your ability to read a foe than the execution of brute force or button mashing.” –GameSpot

“Like a delicious, gamified Turducken, it’s a brawler with the depth of a fighting game inserted into the body of a third-person action game, which is in turn stuffed into an online team-based objective game.” –IGN

For Honor Screenshots

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The publisher provided a review copy. 

Order Phil Villarreal’s novel, Zeta Male, here.

Talk about turning lemons into lemonade.

Three-quarters into the Super Bowl, the bet that the Atlanta Zoo and the Roger Williams Park Carousel Village in Rhode Island had agreed upon was looking like a shoe-in for Atlanta. The bet was that the losing side would name a baby animal after the winning team’s star quarterback.

However, as we now know, Tom Brady and the Patriots went berserk and completed the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. As a result, Atlanta was on the losing end and was forced to name an animal of Brady. You could say they made the best of the situation.

Via Reuters:

Meet baby Madagascar hissing cockroach “Tom Brady,” named after the Super Bowl most valuable player, who led the Patriots from a 28-3 third-quarter deficit to a 34-28 overtime victory.

“Figuring the losing side would be pretty bitter about it, we came to the agreement that baby animal … would be a Madagascar hissing cockroach. So without further ado — Meet our newly-named Program Animal family!” Zoo Atlanta announced and pictured on Instagram on Tuesday.

One of the largest species of cockroach, growing up to seven centimeters (about three inches), Madagascar hissing cockroaches are found inside of rotting logs and some people keep them as pets.

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Students at Elizabethtown College, a small liberal arts college in Central Pennsylvania, have begun wearing white puzzle piece pins to raise awareness of white privilege and its impact on people of color.

The group, known as the Elizabethtown College Democrats, launched the ‘Personal Identity Campaign,’ this past weekend. The project revolves around the question, ‘How does race affect my life, directly and indirectly?’ The organizers of the campaign say that the white pins serve as a reminder of the ‘struggles’ associated with racism.

Via Lancaster Online:

Aileen Ida, president of the College Democrats, said she believes the conversation on white privilege is especially necessary in Lancaster County and Central Pennsylvania because of the demographics — predominantly white but with areas of “heightened diversity” like Lancaster city and Harrisburg.

According to the latest census data, Lancaster County in all is 83 percent white, 10 percent Hispanic, 4 percent black and 2 percent Asian. Ida said she’s excited to see how the project could spur discussion on racial identity.

 “This project will encourage people to have conversations about race and how their inherent white privilege has a part in the systematic oppression of minorities — whether or not they purposefully participate in the system,” she said.

The group is hoping to have at least 100 people committed to wearing the pins by Feb. 17, and they will continue to hand them out to anyone interested for the rest of the semester.

I mean, no shit. If I wipe my ass too aggressively in the morning I’m walking funny all day, let alone with three-and-a-half pounds of gold rammed up my ass. It also doesn’t help that he tried to pull this little scheme at an airport, where employees see people walking around with foreign items up their rectums more than most. Great plan, poor execution.

An Indian man, who has yet to be identified, was arrested on the suspicion of smuggling gold after customs officers saw him walking in a suspicious manner once exiting a plane in Hyderabad. Officials then searched his luggage and found eight gold bars hidden inside LED lights.

But they weren’t done there.

Via Daily Mail:

Suspicious customs officers decided to x-ray the suspect and discovered a further 12 bars of gold which had been inserted before boarding the four-and-a-half hour flight from Singapore to Hyderabad. The man arrived at Rajiv Gandhi airport in Hyderabad around 1:00 A.M. on Sunday.

Gold in India is worth significantly more than it is in either Singapore or Dubai meaning it is an attractive commodity for smugglers. In total, the man was carrying 2kg of gold worth an estimated $75,000.

One customs agent said: ‘A smuggler bringing gold pieces concealed in his rectum is often an expert. That’s because not anyone can move with ease when gold pieces are in the rear’.

Even more hilarious than the story itself are the sources The Daily Mail used for it. For example, they spoke to another gold smuggler, known only as Sajila, who was kind enough to enlighten us on the maximum amount of gold a smuggler should force up their ass.

‘We practice carrying the gold and try walking and sitting normally to avoid customs officials. Food or water is strict no during assignments. There are a few exercises we do that make work easier and help us carry more gold.

The maximum one can carry in the rear is up to 800 grams broken into pieces.’

Poor guy got done in by a combination of negligence and greed. If he had just read the Ass-Smuggling Handbook, he would have known to cut himself off at a couple of bars.

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Ariel Winter is the definition of low-key thicc (and I mean that in the best way possible) and she knows it. I mean, have you seen her Instagram lately? The girl knows where her money is made and knows how to use it. You have to respect it. As humans, all we can do is make the best of what we’ve got. She’s got a killer body and she’s going to ride that train as far as it takes her.

For Valentine’s Day, Winter posted a throwback picture snap from her Mexico vacation with boyfriend Levi Meaden. Luckily, this dude (whoever the f*ck he is) is nowhere to be seen, as the picture is essentially just a glamour shot of Ariel’s ass in a bikini.

So thanks for looking out for the rest of us, Ariel. We love you too.

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The NBA All-Star Weekend is about more than just the All-Star Game. What many fans seem to forget every year is that there are other superstars taking the court as well. The annual NBA All-Star Celebrity Game will feature WNBA ballers, actors, musicians, and more in a star-studded matchup. No, it may not feature quite the same display of basketball prowess as the All-Star Game, but it will still be quite entertaining.

ESPN’s Michael Smith and Jemele Hill will each coach a team. Golden State Warriors All-Star Draymond Green and TV personality Rocsi Diaz will help coach Smith’s team, while Hill will get a helping hand from Toronto Raptors All-Star Kyle Lowry and rapper Fat Joe.

Unfortunately, Celebrity Game mainstay and hilarious comedian Kevin Hart will not be participating. Joining him in Celebrity Game retirement are Justin Bieber and tennis star Nick Kyrgios. But this year’s game still has pretty of star power.

Rosters

Michael Smith’s West Team: Miles Brown (actor), Tom Cavanagh (actor), Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks owner), Baron Davis (former NBA point guard), Andy Grammer (recording artist), Jiang Jinfu (actor, model), Anthony Mackie (actor), Romeo Miller (actor, recording artist), Hasan Minhaj (actor, comedian), Master P (actor, recording artist), Candace Parker (Los Angeles Sparks star), Aaron Sanchez (celebrity chef)

Of the actors, Anthony Mackie is likely the most well-known thanks to his role as Falcon in the Marvel movies. It will be great to see him, The Flash‘s Tom Cavanagh and hip hop mogul Master P run the three-man weave on Friday. Can their combined star power push them to victory?

Jemele Hill’s East Team: Brandon Armstrong (former NBA D-Leaguer and social media star), Win Butler (musician), Nick Cannon (actor, recording artist), Rachel DeMita (NBA2K TV personality), Ansel Elgort (actor, recording artist), Marc Lasry (Milwaukee Bucks owner), Caleb McLaughlin (actor), Peter Rosenberg (media personality), Oscar Schmidt (former international player), Lindsay Whalen (WNBA player), Jason Williams (former NBA player), Kris Wu (recording artist)

Nick Cannon just resigned from America’s Got Talent, so you know he’ll be playing to win on Friday. Hopefully he and The Fault in Our Stars actor Ansel Elgort will crash the board and control the paint as the East team’s big men.

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VIEW GALLERY

Well, looks like all those reports of Kate Upton being booted from the cover of Sports Illustrated for being a diva were greatly exaggerated because here we are.

Despite reports that on-set behavior caused Upton to fall out of favor with SI, Upton still landed Sports Illustrated‘s coveted cover for the third time in her career.

The 24-year-old was revealed as the cover model for the 2017 edition of the Swimsuit issue on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tuesday and the cover was immediately projected onto the Empire State Building in New York. The Swimsuit Edition helped launch Upton’s career when she first was named Rookie of the Year in 2011.

Kate Upton may have lost some of her luster over the last couple of years, but you gotta hand it to her, few people on Earth can rock the shit out of a bikini like she does.

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[SI]

We made it through another Valentine’s Day, ladies and gentlemen. Pat yourselves on the back for still being single or in a relationship, whichever lifestyle choice you’re most proud of. For those of you with a significant other, I’m sure you had to endure some back-breaking romantic scramble to prove your never-ending love. While that’s usually the normal course of action on Valentine’s Day, one dude decided to go in another direction.

Laura Marie Kerr from Ballymena, Northern Ireland (seen above) didn’t know what to expect from her boyfriend on V-Day.

Things took a crazy turn when her boyfriend started texting her. If not for Kerr taking to Twitter to share her experience with the world, we might never know just how legendary her boyfriend truly is.

Yeah, that’s right. This fearless prankster bought tickets to a Champions League soccer game. He risked life, limb, and libido all for the sake of comedy. You are our hero, dude. (Side note: how great of an insult is calling someone a ‘f—ing moose’? That’s my new go-to diss.)

Kerr’s account of the exchange quickly lit up the internet, racking up north of 27,000 retweets as of this writing. Clearly, people were very invested in these two crazy kids and their relationship.

But don’t worry, this man’s bravery is not a relationship ender. Kerr quickly updated everyone that there was not actually any real trouble in paradise.

Congratulations, mystery man. You put it all on the line for a laugh and you lived to tell the tale. I’d consider that a very successful Valentine’s Day.

via Shutterstock

Software updates and system changes may be common in this day and age, but that doesn’t make them any less irritating. Unfortunately, Facebook is getting in on the update game and their latest changes are not going to be pleasant. Here are the four major Facebook updates you need to be aware of:

• Videos in newsfeed will now play with sound
• Vertical videos
• Watch and scroll
• Facebook video app for TV

At first glance, these don’t seem all that threatening. But think about it for a moment. You know all of those political videos your socially conscious friend posts once an hour every hour? Or how about that one couple that simply can’t stop posting videos of their infant child (we get it, your baby can take four steps and fall down. Awesome!)? Yeah, well now all of that content is going to play with sound as you scroll through your newsfeed unless you go in and disable the feature. That’s not going to be fun, especially if you’re on your phone in a quiet classroom and one of your smartass Facebook friends decided to post a Rick Roll video that day.

At this point, you should be concerned about the intrusive sound blaring at you. But that’s not all. With this latest update, the video is going to go vertical on your screen. As you continue scrolling, images and sounds will be fired at you with reckless abandon like that brainwashing scene in A Clockwork Orange.

It’s unknown when Facebook will officially be installing these new updates, but be on the lookout for any new obnoxious video features. Always keep your devices on silent and be sure to adjust your settings to disable any inconvenient Facebook interruptions.