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Satcha Pretto: Hottest Photos On The Internet

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Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Satcha Pretto is a star journalist, working as a co-anchor on Univision’s morning show ¡Despierta América! Pretto was born in La Paz, Honduras. She performed spectacularly in her studies during high school, and earned herself a scholarship to Angelo State University in Texas, where she received a bachelor’s degree in Communications.

But Satcha first began her career in media while still in high school in Honduras. At age 17, she was hired by Radio Suprema Stereo 99.5, and received three months of intense training prior to her big debut. In August 1997, Pretto first appeared on the airwaves of her home country. She remained with that radio station for a year before leaving her job and country to pursue a college education in San Angelo, Texas.

After college, Pretto performed as a reporter and anchor on a late night newscast in Midland-Odessa, Texas. In October 2003, Satcha moved over to Dallas, where she worked as a co-anchor on Cinco en Punto (Five o’Clock). She also worked as a reporter for Edición Nocturna (Nightly Edition).

On July 13, 2006, Satcha was named the new co-host of Univision’s very popular program Primer Impacto. Less than a year later, Pretto covered Pope Benedict XVI’s trip to Brazil. And in 2011, Pretto moved on to co-anchor the highly rated ¡Despierta América!

Satcha sure is pretty. She was included on People en Español‘s list of “50 most beautiful” in 2010. People en Español also listed her among the ten best dressed celebrities of 2009. Satcha also has a beautiful heart, as she is involved with Operation Smile, a non-profit organization that seeks to repair childhood facial deformities. Pretto also participates in triathlons for charity. She is beautiful on so many different levels.


Reagan Tokes, OSU Psychology Student, Shot Dead & Left Near Public Park

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Reagan Tokes, an Ohio State University psychology student who vanished after leaving her work Wednesday night, was murdered, police confirmed.

Tokes, 21, was last seen at Bodega bar in the Short North Arts District around 9:45 P.M on Wednesday. Tokes’ body was found on Thursday afternoon near the main entrance to Scioto Grove Metro Park, around 15 minutes south of Bodega Bar. The victim had been shot dead, police said.

Via Dispatch:

Grove City police Lt. Brian Davidson said it appeared that the woman, in her 20s, had been fatally shot and they were investigating it as a homicide. The woman did not have identification on her, Davidson said, and he would not discuss where she was shot or how many times.

Davidson said investigators had an idea who the victim was, but positive identification still needed to be made by the Franklin County coroner’s office. When the coroner’s office establishes her identity, he said, police officers will notify her family.

Police put out a description over the radio of the woman’s vehicle Thursday night, saying it was missing and possibly stolen when she was shot. The vehicle is described as a silver, 1999 Honda Acura with four doors. The license number is Ohio FGR 8547. The vehicle had Miami Dolphins and Block O (Ohio State) stickers in the window.

Grove City police initially received a call at 1:10 P.M. that someone had found the body about 100 to 150 yards from the park’s entrance.

While police have yet to link Tokes with the body found at Scioto Grove Park, her uncle confirmed Tokes’ death in a Facebook post. He said Reagan’s body was found Thursday afternoon but did not directly connect it to the body found at Scioto Grove Metro Park.

On Wednesday, Tokes’ sister Makenzie told The Tab that Reagan had been seen approaching her car on security cameras, but it wasn’t clear whether she reached the vehicle. She also said the last message delivered to Reagan’s phone was sent at 10:30 P.M. EST Wednesday night, however, there was no reply.

“She was supposed to contact us after her shift last night and did not,” Makenzie said. “We assumed she went home and slept but we weren’t able to get through her phone this morning and her roommates said she didn’t come home.

I reached out to her roommates this afternoon to find out they hadn’t seen her or heard from her since before her shift last night.”

Police are asking anyone with information to call 614-277-1710.

The ‘Cash Me Ousside’ Girl Is Now Starring In Legitimate Rap Videos

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Dear God. Just when you thought the saga of the Cash Me Ousside girl couldn’t become any more ridiculous, she pops up in a Kodak Black video.

Danielle Bregoli, 13, is cashing in on her ‘cash me ousside’ internet fame by starring in a new music video. The 13-year-old was featured in rapper Kodak Black’s new video for his track, “Everything 1K.”

Bregoli is seen flashing cash, lip-syncing, dancing and posing on and inside a white Rolls-Royce. The video comes just days after Bregoli attacked a passenger on a Spirt Airlines flight.

I’m gonna put the over/under of this chick getting herself knocked up at the age of 16.

Washington University Basketball Player Bitch Slaps Heckling Student

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One of the appeals of basketball is the potential interactivity between the players and the fans. Anybody who went to a high school worth a damn remembers how fun the varsity basketball games were. There’s truly nothing more fulfilling than when a stadium full of people all gang up on one of the team’s opposing players.

That said, as fans you have to know where the line is and make sure not to cross it. Harmless fun can turn into hateful spite with just one overly aggressive fan. Apparently, Washington’s Malik Dime thought that line had been crossed.

Dime,  a 6’9″, 220-pound senior, had enough, so we went to confront the rowdy Colorado Students.

Via BSN Denver:

“We were talking the usual game talk with the players like we usually do,” Dylan, a CU student said. “Malik looked over at us at one point and said ‘I’m gonna come over there and slap the s*** out of you.’ We didn’t think that was real so we just laughed and then at the end of the half he came over to us and pretended like he was giving me a handshake and I reached out and he pulled back and slapped me in the face and the follow through hit the person sitting right next to me, which was Brian.”

“I wasn’t shocked because he said, ‘I’m gonna slap the s*** out of you,’” Brian, a C-Unit member added. “Jeremiah Paige and Larry Eustachy have said worse, we have a long tradition of getting under people’s skin but nobody has ever taken physical action, and I’m surprised.”

Dime took the rare step, or hand in this instance over the line and hit a Colorado student.

Thankfully, the slap victims reacted exactly how you would expect a couple of drunk Boulder students to react: kind of impressed.

“I thought it was a real handshake,” Brian told. “He came over with a windup, it was a hard hit. It’s a double face, there’s no way around that.”

“One slap, two faces, I was impressed, he’s got a big wingspan,” Dylan remarked.

After the game, which the Huskies lost 81-66, Dime apologized and shook hands with the students.

These Guys Had A Golf Round Full Of Beer & Debauchery

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Sean Crisco's Instagram

Sean Crisco’s Instagram

There’s nothing like hitting the links with your buddies and having a few cold ones. And with all this bullshit weather in the Northeast, catching a nice buzz on a warm summer’s day while shanking tee shots sounds especially appealing right now.

That’s why I’m insanely jealous of the Instagram video Sean Crisco posted of him and his friends getting absolutely annihilated on the golf course. They went golfing for a friend’s birthday, and it’s safe to say that it was a celebration that he will never forget. Or judging from this footage, a birthday that he will always have fond and hazy memories of.

Watch the pure debauchery unfold in the video below.

Instagram Photo

Awesome stuff. That was the most reckless behavior I’ve seen on a golf course since they ate pot brownies in Hall Pass. My favorite part was definitely them driving their golf carts to a gas station to pick up beer. I’ve always wanted to do that, as the asinine prices of golf course beers is an epidemic that doesn’t get nearly enough national attention.

UCLA Cheerleader Falls Off Pyramid, Then Gets Dropped While Being Carried Off Court

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Twitter

Twitter

Last night, the #10 ranked UCLA Bruins rallied from 19 points down to pick up a huge 82-79 victory over the #5 ranked Oregon Ducks. But while the Bruins basketball team brought their A game, the same could not be said for their cheerleaders.

Watch Sophie Lellis-Petrie take a nasty spill from the top of a pyramid, then get dropped while being carried off the court.

I can understand Sophie falling off the pyramid, as cheerleading is risky business. Sometimes, you get the crowd on their feet with cool stunts, and other times, you bust your ass for the whole internet to see. It’s a tough racket and shit happens.

But I find Sophie getting dropped the second time 100% inexcusable. Where was the court awareness??? Just a total lack of focus from that slapdick. I felt like I was watching Homer Simpson get medical treatment after trying to jump the Springfield Gorge.

Thankfully, it sounds like Sophie avoided serious injury.

That’s great news, as I’d hate to see anything bad happen to someone on such a powerhouse of a cheerleading squad.

20 Years Later And Reggie Miller Still Gets Off On Kicking The Knicks While They’re Down

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via Getty

via Getty

You want to know how utterly pitiful the Knicks have been during my lifetime? The Knicks have been so shit for my entire conscious existence on this planet that the best season they ever had was as a #2 seed in the East the year they lost to the Pacers in the semis. And I actually know that Knicks fan look back on that season fondly. That’s like remembering the time you couldn’t get it up and saying ‘Well, at least I was there.’ Sorry, but just being in the room doesn’t count. The Knicks’ last 20 years have essentially been two decades of poorly timed erectile dysfunction.

All that said, this is the most toxic the Knicks have been this side of Isiah Thomas copping feels from executives. Just months after Derrick Rose (who hasn’t even been mentioned in recent weeks, that’s how f*cked the franchise is) declared them a “superteam,” the Knicks have imploded on themselves like Krypton.

Phil Jackson is trying to trade Melo (he of the no-trade clause) while simultaneously driving down his value by publicly smearing the guy. I’ve never been a sales guy, but that doesn’t sound like how you’re supposed to drive up a price. Joakim Noah is a walking corpse who’s given up on the concept of offense entirely, and there’s no way Derrick Rose comes back after this season. Short of Kristaps and the surfer dude they plucked out of a cornfield, all of the Knicks you see on the court today will be on another team by next season. In fact, the best thing the Knicks have going for them is how much worse the Nets have been. Wouldn’t surprise me if Mikhail Prokhorov sold the team and ended up working in the White House as a strategist in the next couple of years. Just a hunch.

So, just to add insult to New York injury, because that’s literally his specialty, Reggie Miller came out of the clouds to simply verbalize the growing notion surrounding the Knicks franchise: nobody is going to want to play for this team.

He even dropped a potentially sly Donald Trump reference:

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Three Classy Ladies Brawl In The Snow

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blackface112's Instagram

blackface112’s Instagram

The best thing about a snowstorm is that it always seems to produce viral moments. Whether it’s jackasses falling while running in the snow or idiot newscasters dropping awkward gay jokes, there are always some laughs to be had when inclement weather strikes.

It’s time to make room for another snow-related video treat, as three classy ladies were captured brawling in some fresh powder. The contrast of fists flying and snow falling creates beautiful cinematography in this 2-on-1 street fight.

Instagram Photo

I have no idea what that fight was about, but if I had to guess, I’d say that it was over a Thermos of hot chocolate. Those women had to be literally freezing their asses off wearing ridiculous clothes like that in the middle of a snowstorm. I guess there are no days off when it comes to being a hoochie mama.

As much as I enjoyed watching those ladies fight, the MVP of the video was definitely the random dude who jumped in front of the camera.

blackface112's Instagram

blackface112’s Instagram

I’m just surprised he didn’t tell us that the only way to stay warm this winter was to buy his hot fire mixtape.


Miami University Freshman Found Dead After Night Of Pre-gaming With Vodka & Champagne

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Erica Buschick, 18, was discovered dead in her dorm room at Morris Hall on campus at Miami University after a night of what university police have described as “high-risk alcohol consumption.”

According to the Miami Student, an incident report released last week by the Miami University Police Department revealed that the 18-year-old had consumed large quantities of champagne and vodka, had taken multiple falls, and had to be escorted back to her room because she was unsteady on her feet.

Buschick, a native of Gurnee, Illinois, returned to campus on January 19 after winter break. According to the incident report, by 10:00 P.M. she and her roommate Reilley Graves began drinking alcohol, finishing two bottles of champagne between the two of them.

Via Miami Student:

Graves needed help getting Buschick into the dorm, Graves said, so she and Jason Colwell (taxi driver) held Buschick’s arms and walked her to their room on the second floor of the building. Once they entered their room, Colwell said, he propped up Buschick against her bed. Graves paid Colwell the fare for the taxi ride as well as extra money for helping her.

Colwell told MUPD that he was concerned Buschick would fall and hit her head, so he laid her down on her left side on a bean bag chair on their floor. Colwell told Graves to keep an eye on Buschick.

Graves said that she woke up at approximately 3:00 A.M. and noticed Buschick was still on the bean bag before falling back asleep. When Graves woke up the next morning, she saw that Buschick had not moved and called 911 for help.

MUPD officers were dispatched to Morris Hall at 8:57 A.M. Oxford Life Squad arrived at 9:01 A.M., and the Butler County Coroner was notified of the incident at 9:06 A.M.

Miami University President Gregory Crawford emailed the Miami community Thursday morning about the death of first-year Erica Buschick, suggesting that high-risk alcohol consumption was the cause of her passing.

While the university’s immediate concern was providing support for Buschick’s friends and family, Crawford will be working with the university’s senior leadership to “undertake a holistic assessment” of their efforts to prevent high-risk alcohol consumption by students.

“High-risk alcohol consumption among college students is of concern to every university president and I am determined and committed to doing all that we can to help ensure the well-being of all of our students,” Crawford wrote.

Clayton Neighbors, a professor at the University of Houston, has been studying excessive drinking among college populations for 20 years.According to the Chicago Tribune, he said many college students “don’t understand how much they’re drinking or what the consequences are for getting their blood-alcohol concentrations (BACs) up beyond a reasonable point, and how easy it is to do that, depending on what you’re drinking.”

Neighbors said “pregaming” carries “really heavy risk,” especially if students drink hard liquor rather than beer. And gender plays a role, as well, he said.

“Women who don’t weigh very much, their BACs can ramp up in a short amount of time,” Neighbors said. “More than men, because their body concentration is different. So they would get higher BACs, even if they’re the same weight as guys.”

Neighbors said the average 18-year-old female weighing between 125 and 130 pounds would reach an estimated BAC of .39, which would be potentially fatal, by drinking 12 standard drinks in three hours. That would be 18 ounces of 80-proof vodka or about half of a 750-milliliter bottle.

Eloise Mumford: Hottest Photos Of The ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Actress

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Eloise Mumford is a 30-year-old actress from Olympia, Washington. She made her on-screen debut in 2008, taking on the role of Megan Emory in four episodes of the TV series Crash. Eloise would make her film debut the very next year, playing The Girl in the short Some Boys Don’t Leave.

Two of Eloise’s most notable TV performances over her career have been starring roles as Lindsay Holloway in Lone Star (2010) and Lena Landry in The River (2012). She also landed a starring gig as Anna in the 2014 film Not Safe for Work.

But enough about those other projects, Eloise is best known for her role as Katherine “Kate” Kavanagh in the movies based on the Fifty Shades books. She has played Anastasia “Ana” Steele’s (Dakota Johnson) best friend and roommate in both Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) and Fifty Shades Darker (2017).

The second film in the Fifty Shades trilogy will hit theaters everywhere in the U.S. on Friday, February 10, 2017, which is just in time to fulfill women’s erotic Valentine’s Day needs. Talk about genius marketing.

Shia LaBeouf’s Four-Year-Long Live Stream Has Been Shut Down Because Life Is A Black Hole

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 (Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images)

(Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images)

Didn’t we give Shia carte blanche to do whatever the f*ck he wants? I was under the impression that the powers that be decided long ago to just let Shia do Shia because we’re all the better for it. In an age where the rockstar is all but dead, Shia LaBeouf is one of the few we have left. If he wants to drink a bunch of whiskey and heckle people at the cabaret, that’s not only his right but his duty to the American people. There’s a lot of bullshit happening in the world today, but I bet whenever you see a Shia-related headline, you chuckle at the very least. We all need that.

Obviously, the Museum of the Moving Image didn’t get the memo. Citing that the exhibit has become “a flashpoint for violence,” the museum decided to shut He Will Not Divide Us down. I just have one question for the Museum of the Modern Image: are you American or are you a communist?

If the MMI (not sure if that’s the official abbreviation but we’re rolling with it) was truly run by red-blooded patriots, they’d be woke to the fact that Shia being allowed to Shia is essential for our nation’s well-being. Think about it, Shia LaBeouf is the American Dream incarnate — a beautiful trainwreck disaster of success, art, and addiction. Capable of the ultimate highs (ever seen Fury?), or the lowest of lows (the new Indiana Jones was essentially a hate crime), Shia LaBeouf is America and America is Shia. If Shia isn’t allowed to Shia, we might as well change our flag to the hammer and sickle.

Via Museum of Moving Image:

The Museum of the Moving Image has closed HEWILLNOTDIVIDE.US, a participatory Internet streaming performance by LaBeouf, Rönkkö & Turner. The installation created a serious and ongoing public safety hazard for the Museum, its visitors, staff, local residents, and businesses.

The installation had become a flashpoint for violence and was disrupted from its original intent.

While the installation began constructively, it deteriorated markedly after one of the artists was arrested on the site of the installation and ultimately necessitated this action. Over the course of the installation, there have been dozens of threats of violence and numerous arrests, such that police felt compelled to be stationed outside the installation 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

We take our commitment to the safety of our 200,000 annual visitors and 50,000 school children attending programs at the Museum seriously, along with the safety and security of our staff and community.

We are proud to have launched this engaging and thought-provoking digital art installation which was experienced by millions of online viewers worldwide. Until public safety concerns overrode the intent of the installation, HEWILLNOTDIVIDE.US generated an important conversation allowing interaction among people from many backgrounds and with different viewpoints. However, ending our engagement with the installation is the most prudent path forward to restore public safety to the Museum, its visitors, staff, and the community.

And while you’re here, Shia’s latest, greatest hits:

Bella Heathcote: Hottest Photos Of The ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Actress

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Bella Heathcote is a 29-year-old actress from Melbourne, Australia. She made her on-screen debut in 2008, playing Petra in the film Acolytes. Bella’s first television appearance was a solid one, as she landed a recurring role as Amanda Fowler in the soap opera Neighbours (2009).

Bella would make the jump to American projects in 2011, taking on the role of Michele Weis in the film In Time. Some of Bella’s most notable film performances over her career have been as Victoria Winters / Josette DuPres in Dark Shawdows (2012), Grace Dietz in Not Fade Away (2012), Karen in The Rewrite (2014), Jane Bennet in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016), and Gigi in The Neon Demon (2016). In 2016, Bella would also nab a series regular gig as Nicole Dörmer in The Man in the High Castle.

But as impressive as Bella’s résumé is, this post was written in honor of her work in Fifty Shades Darker. Bella plays Leila Williams in the second film of the Fifty Shades trilogy, which will hit theaters everywhere in the U.S. on Friday, February 10, 2017. If the producers were looking for someone to crank up the thermostat, they most definitely went to the right place.

Alabama Woman Belts Out A Terrific ‘Roll Tide’ On ‘The Price Is Right’

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Mark Armstrong's Twitter

Mark Armstrong’s Twitter

On today’s episode of The Price Is Right, Annette Peterson of Alabama got a chance to spin the wheel. She made the most of her microphone time by shouting out her family, her friend Lisa who brought her to the show, and of course, the University of Alabama.

Watch the 61-year-old belt out a fantastic “Roll Tide” right in Drew Carey’s face.

I don’t even like Alabama, but I f*cking love when people yell “Roll Tide.” The official battle cry of rednecks never ceases to put a smile on my face, and that awesome clip was certainly no exception. Annette provided enough electricity to run The Price is Right’s studio for a month the way she screamed that out.

Unfortunately, Annette spun over $1, and she didn’t get to advance to the Showcase. But who needs some lame-ass vacation when you can go viral for showing your school spirit? While trips only last a few days, memorable The Price is Right moments live on the internet for eternity.

Matt Reeves Chosen As Director Of ‘The Batman’

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COED

via Warner Bros.

War for the Planet of the Apes director Matt Reeves is in negotiations to direct The Batman starring Ben Affleck for Warner Bros.

via Variety:

Matt Reeves is in early talks to take over directing duties after Ben Affleck stepped down from the role in late January. Affleck will still star in and produce the Warner Bros. movie.

Sources tell Variety that the “Cloverfield” and “War for the Planet of the Apes” director has already committed to helming the superhero pic, although a deal isn’t done yet. Variety first reported that Reeves was high on the list of directors to replace Affleck, but, until recently, meetings were still being held with other filmmakers.

Reeves directed the 2008 monster movie, Cloverfield, which JJ Abrams produced. Reeves produced the 2016 sequel to the film, 10 Cloverfield Lane. 

He also wrote and directed Let Me In, a remake of the Swedish film Let the Right One In, which was released on October 1, 2010.

Reeves directed for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and it’s sequel War for the Planet of the Apes, which is set for a release on July 14, 2017.

Villanova vs. Xavier Live Stream: How To Watch Online

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Corey Perrine/Getty Images

Corey Perrine/Getty Images

We’ve got some quality matinee college basketball on tap for today, as the Villanova Wildcats will travel to Cincinnati to take on the Xavier Musketeers. In Big East play, Villanova is 10-2 and Xavier is 8-3, making this a showdown between the first and second place teams in the conference.

The #2 ranked Wildcats (23-2) have won their last four games, including a nice 61-59 victory over #12 Virginia. The Wildcats are without question one of the truly elite teams in the country, and they are a very real threat to repeat as National Champions. Villanova’s only losses this year have came on the road, as they were defeated 66-58 at #18 Butler and 74-72 at Marquette.

The #24 ranked Musketeers (18-6) have also won four straight, including a thrilling 82-80 road win over #22 Creighton. Xavier has done a great job of righting the ship after a brutal stretch of basketball, in which they lost three games in a row and four out of five.

This will be Xavier and Villanova’s second meeting of the season. In their first game, the Wildcats beat the hell out of the Musketeers, cruising to a 79-54 win. It will be interesting to see if Xavier can figure out Villanova’s stifling defense, as they limit their opposition to just 63.0 points per game (17th in NCAA).

Now that you know a little bit about the matchup, let’s break down all of the ways you can watch the game.


Villanova vs. Xavier Viewing Details

Date: Saturday, February 11, 2017
Time: 2:30 P.M. EST
Location: Cintas Center in Cincinnati, Ohio
TV Channel: FOX (Check local listings)
Live Stream: FOX Sports GO


How To Live Stream Villanova vs. Xavier Online

Your best bet for watching Villanova battle Xavier via a live stream is FOX Sports GO. You will need your log-in and password information for your cable or satellite provider and you’re good to go.

If you don’t have access to a cable or satellite log-in, you can live stream FOX online through DIRECTV NOW. DIRECTV offers a free seven-day trial, so you’ll receive a full seven days free before your paid membership begins. If you cancel your subscription within the week, you will not be charged. DIRECTV NOW is available on Desktop, Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV and Chromecast.

If you don’t have access to a cable or satellite log-in, you can watch the game through Sling TV. Sling TV is service that allows subscribers to watch live and on-demand TV channels on TVs, computer or mobile device for a monthly fee. It’s just like a cable or satellite TV service, except it’s delivered over the internet. The service’s Blue package includes FOX and costs $25 a month, but you can sign up for a free seven-day trial. If you cancel your subscription within a week, you will not be charged. Once signed up, simply download the app for your computer to start watching.

Please note FOX on Sling TV & DIRECTV NOW is only available in: Atlanta, Austin, Charlotte, Dallas-Ft. Worth, Detroit, Gainesville, L.A., Minneapolis, New York, Orlando-Daytona, Philadelphia, Phoenix, San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose, Tamp-St. Petersburg, Washington, D.C.


Watch Villanova vs. Xavier On Phone, Tablet Or Mobile

If you can’t watch today’s game on your TV or computer, FOX has you covered with their FOX Sports GO app. As long as you have a cable or satellite provider, you can download the app for free in the App Store, the Google Play store, the Amazon App store or the Windows Store.

You can also watch the game on the Sling app. Sign up for a free Sling trial and download their app from the App store or Google Play store. There is also a Sling app for Apple TV, Xbox One, Roku, Chromecast, and Amazon Fire TV.

DIRECTV also has a DIRECTV NOW app on App Store and Google Play store where you can watch FOX for free if you sign up for the seven-day trial and cancel it before the trial period ends.


Tourist Gets Too Close, Elephant Launches Her Away With Trunk

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Live Leak

Live Leak

A woman in Thailand learned the hard way not to get too close to an elephant. Watch the elephant effortlessly fling her away with its trunk in this hilarious video.

Goddamn, the elephant got some distance on that one! She flew backwards like she caught a Mike Vick pass in an old Powerade commercial. An elephant never forgets, and I’m positive that woman will never forget getting launched to the moon by an elephant.

Via the video description, here’s what she had to say about her elephant encounter.

“I went to Thailand with a group of friends after planning the trip for about 8 months. Elephants were my favorite animal. Elephant things are all over my desk at work. I have elephant clothes and elephant kitchen tools. So, going to the elephant sanctuary was supposed to be the highlight of my trip. I was also planning on getting an elephant bamboo tattoo while I was in Thailand, which I definitely didn’t do after this experience. I went from loving elephants, to now being terrified of them.”

I guess this is why they say to never meet your heroes. You think you’re going to have this amazing bonding experience, but instead, you get your ass trunk sticked. Talk about a letdown.

Previously in Thailand elephants being awesome….

Florida Man Shot Wife In Butt After She Wouldn’t Consummate Marriage

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The Smoking Gun

The Smoking Gun

Florida man Donald Royce may be 76-years-old, but this dude still likes to get it in. After being with his 62-year-old wife for six months, she was still not letting him get his rocks off. On Friday, February 3, Royce’s blue balls finally reached Code Red levels.

Via The Smoking Gun, here’s how everything went down.

Royce “explained that they have been married since August and together they have not consummated their marriage,” according to a probable cause statement prepared by a police detective. “Donald became violently angry tonight due to his requesting sex with his wife and her refusing.”

During questioning by cops, Royce said that he had been arguing with his wife about their sleeping arrangements when he decided to fire into the bed to scare her. But Royce said he missed the mattress, instead striking the victim in the hip and buttocks.

“Donald then stated he only wanted to shoot the mattress but was upset when he realized he had shot his wife,” an investigator noted. When sheriff’s deputies first arrived at his home, Royce declared, “I shot her and the gun is in my room.”

Is his wife still entitled to that million dollars even if it was an accident?

Royce’s wife was taken to the hospital, and thankfully, she avoided serious injury. She was treated and released, while Royce is currently being held at the Lee County jail. He’s being charged with felony domestic violence, which seems pretty harsh to me. Being married for six goddamn months and not getting to have sex once seems like the definition of torture.

You can’t lock down a wild stallion like my man Donny, then just refuse to let him beat them cheeks. He bought the cow, so it’s his right to get that milk on the reg. I’m pretty sure that’s even in the wedding vows, right after that boring “to have and to hold” nonsense. If anything, this old bag should be thrown in the slammer for gross penile neglect.

Old Man Hits Burger King Employee With A Huge Slap

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WorldStarHipHop

WorldStarHipHop

An old man took Burger King’s “Have It Your Way” slogan way too far. Inside of asking for extra ketchup or for them to hold the tomato, he dished out a huge slap to an employee. This is not the freedom I think they had in mind for their customers.

Watch the bell-ringing slap in the video below.

The voice of Adele, the crack of a baseball bat, and the sound of a perfectly executed slap to the face. Those are my three favorite sounds on the entire planet. I love that sweet harmony of a palm meeting an unsuspecting face.

Even though it’s probably not wise to emulate that psycho, I am definitely going to steal his “I’m the boss” line the next time a bouncer tells my drunk ass to calm down. That’s a power move of epic proportions.

I do feel bad for the Burger King employee, though. It already has to suck making awful money and smelling like french fries all day, and now, he has to deal with the viral infamy of getting the taste slapped out of his mouth by a senior citizen. If I were him, I’d lock myself in the back and eat my feelings in a gluttonous display reminiscent of Squidward going to town on Krabby Patties.

NCAA Announces Top 16 Seeds For March Madness Tournament

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Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Today, the NCAA Tournament committee revealed their top 16 seeds for March Madness. It’s cool to see what the committee is thinking at this point in the season, but Selection Sunday is still four weeks away, so these rankings could change drastically by the time you’re filling out your bracket.

This is the first time the committee has ever released any of their seeds before the regular season and conference tournaments were over. Via USA Today, check out this historic list of the current top 16 seeds in the 2017 NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament

East
No. 1 Villanova (1)
No. 2 Louisville (7)
No. 3 Kentucky (12)
No. 4 UCLA (15)

West
No. 1 Gonzaga (4)
No. 2 Oregon (8)
No. 3 Virginia (10)
No. 5 West Virginia (14)

Midwest
No. 1 Kansas (2)
No. 2 Florida State (6)
No. 3 Arizona (9)
No. 4 Duke (16)

South
No. 1 Baylor (3)
No. 2 North Carolina (5)
No. 3 Florida (11)
No. 4 Butler (13)

Everything seems pretty reasonable to me, except for Butler being included and Wisconsin being left out in the cold. I’m no Joe Lunardi, but I don’t see how the hell a team that’s #22 in the AP poll, 19-5 overall, and in 3rd place in the Big East with an 8-4 conference record is better than a team that’s #7 in the AP poll, 21-3 overall, and first in the Big Ten with a 10-1 conference record.

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017: Predictions, Analysis & Full Preview

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WWE Elimination Chamber 2017: Predictions, Analysis & Full Preview

WWE

WWE Elimination Chamber is rapidly approaching. This Sunday, six men will be locked inside the sadistic confines of the elimination chamber, as they fight it out for the top prize in this industry. John Cena will defend his record-tying 16-time World Championship against the likes of “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles, “The Lone Wolf” Baron Corbin, “The Eater of Worlds” Bray Wyatt, “The Hollywood A-Lister” The Miz, and current Intercontinental Champion Dean Ambrose. Cena will definitely have a lot on his plate Sunday night. Can the leader of the Cenation once again overcome the odds?

The 2017 Royal Rumble winner will also be in action. Before heading to the main event of WrestleMania 33, Randy Orton will have to fight former Wyatt Family ally Luke Harper. Can Orton strike down the rebellious big man? Or will Harper kill the momentum of The Viper?

There is three women’s division matches, including Alexa Bliss defending her WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship against a glowing Naomi. Nikki Bella and Natalya are engaged in a much more personal rivalry, as Nattie taunts Nikki about her relationship with current WWE World Champion John Cena. Becky Lynch will also look to silence her own detractor in the form of a returning Mickie James. Can Mickie kick her way back to the top? Or will Becky show the elder James just want straight fire is all about?

A tag team turmoil match is also scheduled, as six teams try to survive the gauntlet and go home with the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship. Who will survive the Elimination Chamber event? Look into my crystal ball of pro wrestling & you may see into the future!


WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Viewing Details

Date: Sunday, February 12, 2017
Time: 7 P.M. EST/ 4 P.M. PST
TV Channel: WWE Network / Pay-Per-View
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Main Event: Elimination Chamber match for the WWE World Championship: John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin


Elimination Chamber match for the WWE World Championship: John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

Elimination Chamber match for the WWE World Championship: John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

WWE

John Cena just won the WWE World Championship about two weeks ago. Now, his title reign is in jeopardy as he fights five of SmackDown’s top superstars. There’s a rumor making the rounds on the internet that Bray Wyatt is bookmarked to fight Randy Orton at WrestleMania 33. It’d only make sense if that match were for the WWE World Championship. So, it’s about time that the Eater of Worlds won the big won.

Bray Wyatt wins the WWE World Championship


WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Naomi

WWE SmackDown Women's Championship: Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Naomi

WWE

Naomi has really been picking up a lot of momentum lately. It looks like she has the champs number, as she’s defeated Bliss in non-title encounters on multiple occasions. But Bliss is red hot as champion. I don’t see her relinquishing the gold just yet.

Alexa Bliss defeats Naomi to retain the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship


Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Predictions: Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

WWE

Luke Harper has really been improving on the mic. The fans are really buying into the good guy/anti-hero version of Luke Harper, but they still love Randy more. It’d be great to give Luke such a high-profile win against The Viper. But Orton really needs this victory to continue his momentum into the WWE World Championship match at WrestleMania 33. The Apex Predator will reign supreme in this contest.

Randy Orton defeats Luke Harper


Tag Team Turmoil match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship: American Alpha (c) vs. Rhyno & Heath Slater vs. The Vaudevillians vs. The Ascension vs. The Usos vs. Breezango

Tag Team Turmoil match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship

WWE

American Alpha are SmackDown’s dominant tag team, and this match will definitely prove that. Although, The Ascension looked great on the most recent episode of WWE SmackDown Live, so they may just pull off an upset in this one. But I highly doubt it. I envision American Alpha reigning supreme once again. Playing hot potato with the tag team gold won’t help anyone.

American Alpha retains the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship


Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Predictions: Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

WWE

This match between Natalya and Nikki Bella has become highly personal. Nattie takes personal (and physical) shots at Nikki every chance she gets. Natalya has really improved on the mic, and should be rewarded for her hard work. Defeating Nikki will increase Nattie’s bragging rights. But in the end, Ms. Bella is just more likely to shut up The Queen of Hearts than not.

Nikki Bella defeats Natalya


Mickie James vs. Becky Lynch

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Predictions: Mickie James vs. Becky Lynch

WWE

This is like a dream match. Two champions from two different decades will fight it out. The past will battle the present. But who will make it out on top? I’m sure Becky will leave it all in the ring Sunday night against Mickie. But WWE doesn’t want to kill Ms. James’ momentum just yet. I mean, she really just came back into the limelight. WWE needs to build her back-up to make her seem a bit more credible in comparison to WWE’s newer female generation.

Mickie James defeats Becky Lynch


Dolph Ziggler vs. Kalisto & Apollo Crews

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Predictions: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kalisto & Apollo Crews

WWE

Ziggler really has the odds stacked against him. This match really reverses your typical handicap match. Usually we see two bad guys fight one good guy, but in this one, it’s the complete absolute. #HEELZiggler will really have his work cut out for him in this one. But somehow, someway, The Showoff will pull off the victory.

Dolph Ziggler defeats Kalisto & Apollo Crews


Kickoff Show: Mojo Rawley vs. Curt Hawkins

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Predictions: Kickoff Show: Mojo Rawley vs. Curt Hawkins

WWE

This match is a freebee that anyone can watch for live on YouTube. WWE hopes this contest will get their fans hyped for the Elimination Chamber pay per view (corny pun/inside joke intended). Hawkins has really disappeared from the scene since his debut back at No Mercy 2016. Rawley is expected to make quick work of this so-called “Prince of Queens.”

Mojo Rawley defeats Curt Hawkins

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