Instagram @supermariorun.official

Super Mario Run has now officially been released and is available for download.

Nintendo’s first foray into the iPhone space will drop today in the form of Super Mario Run for iOS. Briefly shown on Jimmy Fallon last week, iPhone users will soon be able to take control of their favorite Nintendo mascot for his newest adventure.

Game: Super Mario Run
Platform: iOS
Publisher: Nintendo
Developer: Nintendo EPD
Release Date: December 15, 2017

When will Super Mario Run release?

Although the release is upon us, there has been no word from Apple or Nintendo as to what time the new game will be released today. Many believe Super Mario Run will go live by 1 p.m. as that is when updates to Apple’s operating system generally roll out.

According to Mic, the app’s release time is ultimately up to the discretion of Apple. The review embargo ends at 10:00 A.M. this morning and the reviews have already begun to trickle in.

iTunes Sales Figures

As Nintendo’s first game on a third party system, it will be interesting to see if they meet their projected sales figures. With a $10 asking price, it’s a pretty steep price for an iOS app. That said, compared to Nintendo’s previous games, it would actually be a budget title from the brand. I’m sure there are enough iPhones out there to meet Nintendo’s sales expectations.

Super Mario Run releases December 15, 2016 for iOS devices.

Pasco Sheriff’s Office

Florida police are searching for a suspect with masterful skills in disguising their identity. People are getting in their fair share of laughs at the suspect’s drawn-on beard, but while they are busying chuckling behind their keyboards, this bandit is out planning their next score.

Pasco Sheriff’s Office

The police are so thrown for a loop from this superb marker work that they aren’t even sure if the crook is a male or female. Not even Leo in Catch Me If You Can had the law so bamboozled.

Here’s UPI with the scoop on this crafty criminal.

The suspect was described as a heavyset white individual between 30 and 40-years-old with long dark hair, according to WTSP.

He or she reportedly attempted to rob Holiday Gas Station near Highway 19 while wearing a red bandanna, clear gloves, glasses, a green army style jumpsuit and the drawn-on beard as a disguise.

It us unclear if the suspect was successful in taking any cash from the gas station and no injuries were reported, according to WPTV.

The suspect fled the scene in a tan or brown Toyota truck and local police are offering a reward of up to $3,000 for information leading to the suspect’s arrest.

The suspect may not have made away with any money from the gas station robbery, but they are still up eight bucks from not having to buy a black ski mask. You gotta respect that thriftiness.

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Shutterstock

I’m not really sure where the song “12 Days Of Christmas” came from but I’m also not trying to get a history lesson right now.

All I know is that 12 days seems a bit greedy, especially when the gifts are beyond nonsensical. Come on, really… three french hens? I don’t live on a farm and I don’t think my dog even gets along with hens. I’m not entirely sure. You’re most definitely causing a lot more work for yourself with a gift idea like that. In theory, I guess it works but in practice, there’s not a shot in the dark.

Let’s fine-tune that age-old concept and add a little bit of rationale. We’ll kick it back to simplicity and see what we can do to refresh society with these 12 acts of kindness put together from the bottom of my jaded, deflated, but still beating heart.

Be true to yourself so you can be true to others. Merry Christmas and Have a happy new year!

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(Credit: Jonathan Daniel /Getty)

I’ve never understood the appeal of public exposure. I just don’t see the appeal. Unless you’re repping a foot plus down below, there are literally zero positives to whipping it out in public.

Jamal Anderson, a former NFL running back, was banned from a QuikTrip store in Gwinnett County, Georgia, after police say he exposed himself to a store clerk. However, he avoided criminal charges, as the clerk decided against pressing charges. Anderson was issued a warning for criminal trespassing. Anderson appeared to be intoxicated, according to authorities, who ordered him an Uber to take him home.

Via TMZ Sports:

“The clerk reported a black male had walked into the store early Wednesday morning, slurred something and started handing over money. He started walking around the store. A short while later he walked up to the clerk and took out his penis and started masturbating.”

This is Anderson’s second run in with the law over the last few months. In August, Anderson was charged with a suspended license and a move-over violation and he has also been arrested on DUI charges in the past. Similarly, was also arrested on drug possession charges in 2009.

(Photo by Steve Marcus/Getty Images)

You ever see iRobot? Well, you should. It’s Will Smith at his finest. Classic early 2000s action flick. Anyway, in that movie, he drops this line:

Does believing you’re the last sane man on the planet make you crazy? ‘Cause if it does, maybe I am.

Epic, I know. Well, that’s how I feel every time Vin Diesel’s name forces its way into my universe. I cannot stand Vin Diesel. Untalented, old, tough to look at, even harder to listen to, Vin Diesel brings literally nothing to the table. Every Vin Diesel movie ever made would be 13 times better as a movie starring The Rock. His only remaining claim to fame is the absolutely preposterous success of the Fast and Furious franchise. So every year (because it seems like there’s a new Fast every year) Vin Diesel will pop up to make the media rounds and remind us all why we wish it was him instead of Paul Walker.

In an interview with MMAFighting.com, Vin Diesel told Guilherme Cruz:

“I had created a role for Conor McGregor, and after he lost to Nate Diaz, he had to go to a dark place, he had to go get his manhood back to fight the second time, so he wasn’t able to do this film at the time.”

Honestly, I’m calling bullshit on Diesel’s end. Zero percent chance McGregor would ever sign on to appear in his shit B-movie sequel. The dude is gonna be on Game Of Thrones for christ’s sake, you think he’s going to waste his time with xXx: The Return of Xander Cage? Absolutely not.

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Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Passengers won’t be released nationwide until December 21, but the Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt film had its premiere on December 14 at the Regency Village Theatre. Only a small amount of critics have actually seen the film yet, but virtually all of them have hated it. The movie currently has a dreadful 24% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with only four out of 17 critics giving it a positive review.

Here are screenshots of some of the harshest reviews.

And here are some examples of people bashing the film on Twitter.

Damn, I’d love to be a fly on the wall at Columbia Pictures right now. People have to be in a total panic over there, running around the offices like chickens with their heads cut off. I’m sure they thought a movie with Lawrence and Pratt in the leading roles would be a slam dunk to make a killing at the box office and receive critical acclaim. But now, that $120 million budget might be looking worse than Gilbert Arenas’ infamous contract.

Even if the movie really does suck, at least we’ll always have these viral videos from their promotional tour.

WATCH: Chris Pratt Card Trick Impresses Jennifer Lawrence

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WATCH: Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Pratt Roast Each Other

Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt are still promoting the hell out of their upcoming film

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(Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Craig Sager died on December 15, 2016, at the age of 65 years old, just two days after he was inducted into the Broadcasting Hall of Fame. While he’ll be best known for his phenomenal work as a sideline reporter in the NBA for 25+ years, he’ll also be fondly remembered for his phenomenal (and unique) taste in personalized suits. Part of what made these suits so great was that he’d never repeat a suit twice.

I can’t find the video, but I remember watching a short piece on how Craig Sager finds the fabrics for his suits. It essentially consisted of him entering a HUGE fabric store and picking the most absurd pieces and patterns to turn into suits. The two places he’d go to the most were A. Taghi (in Houston, Texas) and Rex Fabrics (in Miami, Florida).

Craig Sager Cause Of Death: How Did Craig Sager Die?

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WATCH: Greg Popovich Welcomes Craig Sager Back to Sidelines

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RIP Craig. We’re sure that you’ll make heaven a little brighter than it was before.

As far as we know, there’s not a single resource on the greatest suits that Craig’s ever worn, but craigsagerssuits.tumblr.com is pretty close. We’re doing our best to pick out our favorites in the gallery below.

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

We got some truly awful news today, as ESPN is reporting that NBA broadcasting legend Craig Sager passed away at age 65 after a lengthy battle with cancer. Sager was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia back in 2014, and he was an inspiration to people all over the world with how fiercely he fought this horrible disease.

WATCH: Greg Popovich Welcomes Craig Sager Back to Sidelines

The NBA lost one of its most beloved characters this week, as Turner Sports sideline

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Sager covered all kinds of different sports for various networks over the years, but he was most well-known for his work with the NBA on Turner Sports. For over 30 years, Sager graced our TV screens on TNT and TBS, cementing his legacy as one of the greatest sideline reporters of all-time. He was beloved by fans, coaches, and players alike for his friendly demeanor, basketball knowledge, and impeccable taste in suits.

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For the first time in his distinguished career, Sager worked an NBA Finals game this past June. Turner and ESPN figured out a partnership where Sager was able to share sideline reporting duties with Doris Burke for Game 6 between the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors.

Later in 2016, Sager was presented with the Jimmy V Perseverance Award at the ESPYs. You can watch his deeply moving speech in the video below.

Sager will be survived by his wife Stacy, a former Chicago Bulls dancer, and their two children Riley and Ryan. Sager also had three children from a previous marriage, including Craig Sager Jr.

NBA Players React To Craig Sager's Death: Tweets & Tributes

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via NBA

The NBA lost one of its most beloved characters this week, as Turner Sports sideline reporter Craig Sager lost his battle to leukemia. He was 65 years old.

Last year, around this time, after finishing treatments of chemotherapy, Craig was gaining back the strength he needed to return to the sidelines. While that was happening, Craig Sager Jr. popped onto the court and took his dad’s place for the night, a brave move considering who he had to interview: Gregg Popovich. Here’s what happened.

Days later, Craig returned to the sideline to a huge reception. And Pop was the first to welcome him back to the sideline with a vintage Pop interview.

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Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Not long after news of Craig Sager’s passing became public, an outpouring of love came from all corners of the athletic universe.

Craig Sager worked for Turner Sports for over 30 years, creating a legacy as one of the greatest sideline reporters of all time. He was beloved by fans, players, and coaches for his friendliness, basketball knowledge, and of course, his suit game. The legendary reporter battled acute myeloid leukemia since he was first diagnosed in 2014, and was admitted back into the hospital in late November 2016.

Turner Sports president David Levy’s official statement:

“Craig Sager was a beloved member of the Turner family for more than three decades and he has been a true inspiration to all of us. There will never be another Craig Sager. His incredible talent, tireless work ethic and commitment to his craft took him all over the world covering sports.

While he will be remembered fondly for his colorful attire and the TNT sideline interviews he conducted with NBA coaches and players, it’s the determination, grace and will to live he displayed during his battle with cancer that will be his lasting impact. Our thoughts and prayers are with Craig’s wife, Stacy, and the entire Sager family during this difficult time. We will forever be Sager Strong.”

Celebrities React to Craig Sager’s Death on Twitter

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Craig Sager Quotes: Best Quotes & Famous Sayings

Sadly, beloved sports reporter Craig Sager passed away today. He’ll leave behind a large legacy

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Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Sadly, beloved sports reporter Craig Sager passed away today. He’ll leave behind a large legacy of reporting, with his work extending from 1972. He’s covered everything from the NBA to the Olympic Games to the World Series. As a reporter, he covered both football (NFL) and fùtbol (1990 FIFI World Cup). He has also played a hand in covering golf and tennis events, as well as NCAA games like PAC-10 and Big 12 college football. He’s certainly left us with many memories of his craft. But he has also left us with some truly remarkable words to live by. The man with many colorful suits lives on with many colorful quotes that can inspire anyone.

Craig Sager may be gone, but his words live on. Here are the top 10 best quotes and sayings from a great man who lived a life immersed in sports:

“I am not an expert on time or on cancer or on life itself. I’m a kid from the small Illinois town of Potamia who grew up on the Chicago Cubs and made sports his life’s work, although there’s never been a day when it actually seemed like work.”

“I will never give up, and I will never give in. I will continue to keep fighting, sucking the marrow out of life, as life sucks the marrow out of me. I will live my life full of love and full of fun. It’s the only way I know how.”

“I’m a kid from the small Illinois town of Batavia, who grew up on the Chicago Cubs, and made sports his life’s work, although there’s never been a day where it actually seemed like work. I have run with the bulls in Pamplona. I have raced with Mario Andretti in Indianapolis. I have climbed the Great Wall of China. I have jumped out of airplanes over Kansas. I have wrestled gators in Florida. I have sailed the ocean with Ted Turner. I have swam the oceans in the Caribbean. And I have interviewed Gregg Popovich. Mid-game. Spurs down seven.”

“I grew up in Batavia, Illinois, a small town out in the corn fields, west of Chicago. It was boring. For our senior picture, they said, ‘black or navy blazer.’ And I thought, Why do I want to look like everybody else? I was a big fan of The Monkees, and I had this electric blue nehru jacket, like one Micky would wear. So I wore that and showed up and they said, ‘We told you: a blue or black sportcoat.’ I argued that it was actually blue, created a little controversy. But, now, you look at the yearbook and everyone looks exactly the same. Except for me.”

“If I’ve learned anything through all of this, it’s that each and every day is a canvas, waiting to be painted — an opportunity for love, for fun, for living, for learning.

“I will continue to keep fighting sucking the marrow out of life as life sucks the marrow out of me.”

“Time is something that cannot be bought, it cannot be wagered with God, and it is not in endless supply. Time is simply how you live your life.”- said Sager at this year’s ESPY awards.

Rest in peace, Craig Sager. June 29, 1951 – December 15, 2016

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Nadine Ebri’s YouTube

A teacher came up with a brilliant way to make math fun for her students, creating an insanely catchy song to help them remember the steps for long division. Watch her students use this total banger of a song to correctly solve a long division problem.

If that song’s not #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart by the end of 2016, something has gone terribly wrong. Talk about an infectious tune. I’m also very bitter that this jam wasn’t around back in my elementary school days. The only thing even remotely similar to this that I remember from school is that wack ass “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally” trick.

But if my impressionable young mind heard this song, I’m positive that things would’ve shaken out differently for your boy. I would’ve hit the books like crazy, became a math prodigy, went to Harvard, invented both Facebook and the Slap Chop, and impregnated all of the female leads in the upcoming Baywatch movie.

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Alas, it just wasn’t meant to be. The story of my life, a day late and a dollar short.

(Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Week 15 of the 2016 NFL season kicks off tonight with a Thursday Night Football matchup between the Los Angeles Rams and Seattle Seahawks.

This has been a tough week for the Rams. On Sunday, they got absolutely embarrassed by the Falcons, losing 42-14 in their own building. Sunday’s loss to the Falcons secured the franchise’s fifth straight losing season. Then on Monday, head coach Jeff Fisher was fired. Fisher, since taking over in 2012, was 31-45-1 as the Rams head coach.

As for the Seahawks, after looking like one of the best teams in the NFL, received an absolute drubbing from the Green Bay Packers, losing 38-10 at Lambeau. However, with a victory tonight, the Seahawks can clinch the NFC West.

Find out how to live stream tonight’s Thursday Night Football game below!

Los Angeles Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks Thursday Night Football Viewing Details

Date: Thursday, December 15, 2016
Time: 8:25 P.M. EST
Location: CenturyLink Field, Seattle, Washington
TV Channel: NBC / NFL Network
Live Stream: Twitter

How To Watch Los Angeles Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks Live Stream Online

The Rams vs. Seahawks Thursday Night Football game can be live streamed on Twitter. You can find the link to the Twitter live stream here.

Live Stream the Los Angeles Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks on Mobile

The Rams vs. Seahawks TNF Game will be available to live stream on Twitter. You can download Twitter on the App Store and Google Play. Download Twitter, then go to THIS LINK.

How To Watch the Los Angeles Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks Live Stream Without A Cable Subscription

You DO NOT need a cable subscription to live stream the Rams vs. Seahawks game on Twitter. You can watch the stream on Twitter HERE, or download the Twitter app on the App Store and Google Play and watch from there.

Thursday Night Football Games Live Streamed On Twitter

Week 2, September 15: New York Jets at Buffalo Bills
Week 3, September 22: Houston Texans at New England Patriots
Week 5, October 6: Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers
Week 6, October 13: Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers
Week 7, October 20: Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers
Week 11, November 17: New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers
Week 13, December 1: Dallas Cowboys at Minnesota Vikings
Week 14, December 8: Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs
Week 15, December 15: Los Angeles Rams at Seattle Seahawks
Week 16, December 22: New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles

Los Angeles Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks Preview

Instagram

Emma is making a comeback on WWE television as the ever-so-sexy “Emmalina.” She’ll return to the ring very soon to captivate the fans with her flexible in-ring ability and inherent beauty. Many fans miss this stunning Australian-born blonde. But you won’t have to wait until she returns to the WWE because I have the top 22 hottest photos of this sizzling star. It’s what you’ve really been waiting for all along!

Emmalina has went through a few transformations during her continued stay with the WWE. She started off as a quirky, dancing goofball, who came out to the ring moving her arms around in some strange dance, sometimes popping bubbles while she walked down the entrance. After her days in the development territory of NXT, she was promoted to WWE’s main roster, where she retained her goofy persona. On the main roster, she teamed up with comedy-wrestler Santino Marella as his love interest and protégé. However, this duo was short-lived when Marella retired from in-ring competition and television appearances. She then returned to NXT, where she developed a serious mean streak and garnered the nickname “Evil Emma.” She showed promise when she returned to the main roster with her new bad-ass persona, but a back injury got in her way and she was put on the shelf once again.

On WWE Raw each week, you can see teasers for Emma’s return to action. She’ll return as the smokin’ hot Emmalina. And if her looks alone don’t kill, she’ll surely destroy her opponents upon her return to the ring. Before we get into her top 22 hottest photos, I’ll give you all a video preview of Emmalina…

Looking for the stream of Kid Cudi’s new album “Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin'”? Find out how to listen to the rappers latest music here!

Steve Kerr, who worked with Craig Sager with the NBA on TNT crew, made an amazing tribute to Sager last night before the tip-off of the Warriors and Knicks game. Rather than take a traditional moment of silence, Kerr, wearing a very Sager-like tie, led everyone in a “moment of joy” for the person who loved the Cubs and Bud Light.

It was a clearly an emotional moment for Kerr, the fans, and certainly the players. You can see Shawn Livingston wearing a Sager tee, and Varejao wiping off some tears.

Who the hell brought onions to a basketball arena, especially on such an important moment for the late great Craig Sager?

(Photo by Buda Mendes/Getty Images)

It’s a running theme that we’ve seen more this semester than ever before: prestigious colleges and universities suspending their men’s sports teams for inappropriate emails sent to one another. First, it was the Harvard men’s soccer team, then it was Columbia’s wrestling team, then Amherst’s cross-country team, and now it’s happened to Princeton’s men’s swimming and diving team.

According to The New York Times, who first reported on the story, Princeton has suspended the men’s swimming and diving team after the administration learned that members of the team had been sending offensive comments amongst themselves about the women’s team. Unlike the Columbia and Harvard scandals, The NYT wouldn’t release segments or snippets from the conversations, but Mollie Marcaux Samaan, the director of athletics at Princeton, had this to say about the situation:

“The behavior that we have learned about is simply unacceptable. It is antithetical to the values of our athletic program and of the university and will not be tolerated.”

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this has been a pretty educational year for college sports teams when it comes to what they can and can’t get away with saying in emails or text messages. What these guys might have thought were private conversations are actually only as private as the people you’re sharing them with.

This isn’t the first time that Princeton’s men’s swimming and diving team has gotten in trouble. Last year, they made headlines when members of the team wore loincloths and were accused of mocking African culture after they performed as “Urban Congo.” You can watch that performance below.

LOVE Magazine’s Instagram

For Day 16 of LOVE Magazine’s Advent Calendar, model Chrissy Teigen threw on a sexy leotard and dominated a strenuous aerobics session. It was very similar to Bella Hadid’s video from Day 1, but that is most definitely not a bad thing. Watch Chrissy work on her fitness in the video below.

Rewarding yourself with french fries for doing push-ups might revolutionize exercising as we know it. I think Chrissy finally cracked the code to get my lazy ass into a gym for the first time since Obama was sworn into office.

But enough about the sad state of my body, that video was spectacular. The 31-year-old clearly hasn’t lost her fastball. Chrissy had her first child in April of this year, and she still looks as gorgeous as ever. If you don’t believe me, compare and contract Chrissy’s Advent video to some of our older posts on her. As her co-host on Lip Sync Battle would say, “Don’t call it a comeback!”

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And because it’s better to give than to receive, here are some more videos from LOVE’s Advent Calendar. ‘Tis the season!

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year, Bowl Season is finally here! After months of making all of you money, we get one last hurrah to take money from our bookies to end out the college football season. I’ll be the first one to admit that my last set of picks did not go as planned. I went 1-4 like a goddamn moron, but that’s behind us now. I still have a winning record on the season, and I plan on keeping it that way once it’s all said and done. Bowl Season separates the men from the boys in the world of gambling, and I, for one, look forward to taking more money from my bookie. This Saturday we have a kick-ass slate of games, so let’s cut the small talk and get on with our winners this week:

Celebration Bowl: Grambling State -14.5 vs NC Central

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LOVE Grambling State here, love ’em. I’m a big time Grambling State guy and will bet on them any chance I get. Okay, I’ve actually only bet on them once, but it was earlier this year and they covered so I’m rolling with them in this spot. They went 11-1 this year, won the Southwestern Athletic Conference (SWAG Nation stand up), and are going to beat the crap out of whoever the hell NC Central is. Also, they put on the best halftime show in all of college football. Tigers in a beatdown.

New Mexico Bowl: New Mexico -7.5 vs Texas San Antonio

Getty Images

To be totally honest, I can’t really tell you a damn thing about either team, but I kinda have to take New Mexico here. The bowl is named after them, for God’s sake. This is essentially a home game for them, so they shouldn’t have too many troubles with Texas San Antonio this weekend. Fun facts about New Mexico: Brian Urlacher played safety there in college, and the hit show Breaking Bad was filmed and took place there. Not really relevant to the pick, but just thought it needed to be said.

New Orleans Bowl: UL- Lafayette +5.5 vs Southern Miss

The Ragin’ Cajuns get my vote of confidence here for the sole reason of the highlight I posted above. I watched that kick live during this New Orleans Bowl like five years ago, and it was one of the most exciting kicks I’ve ever seen. Since that glorious moment in time, I promised myself that I would always take the Ragin’ Cajuns whenever they play in the New Orleans Bowl. Also, it’s like a home game for them so that kind of factors into the pick as well.

Camellia Bowl: Toledo – 1 vs Appalachian State

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I would be such an asshole if I didn’t take a team from the MAC during the first weekend of the College Bowl Season, so we’re going with the Rockets from Toledo. That’s pretty much the only reason why I’m taking Toledo here, but because it’s such a low spread I don’t think it’s such a crazy pick.

Las Vegas Bowl: Houston vs San Diego State OVER 51.5 – Lock of the Week

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This might be an early favorite for my favorite pick of the entire Bowl Season, and we’re only in the first week, for crying out loud! Both of these teams averaged over 35 points a game, so this over could probably even hit by the end of the first half. I love a sure thing, and this is about as sure of a thing as you can get. I’m not sure if that sentence made much sense, but ignore my poor writing skills and take the over here. And if I had to pick, I kinda like Houston -4 too if that tickles your fancy.

Need a big bounce back week after my atrocious performance from my last slate of picks, and I think these five games are going to be the ones that get me back on track. Buckle up boys and girls, it’s Bowl Season.

Record on the season(started in Week 7): 19-16

Locks of the Week: 3-4

Bowl Season Record: 0-0

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Another week, another list of winners. After going 1-2 on Friday, I bounced back nicely to go 2-0 with my Saturday picks, including hitting my Lock of the Week. Now before I get to my picks, know that things could get kind of ugly for me this week. All of the good college basketball games are on Saturday, but the spreads for those games don’t come out until Saturday, so I’m stuck betting on shitty Friday games with teams I’ve never heard of before. Regardless, I don’t make excuses, I’m here to give you guys winners. I was dealt a bad hand with the games tonight, but I thrive when my back is against the wall and everyone counts me out… just kidding, I curl up in a ball and panic when the littlest of things goes wrong. Anyways, here are tonight’s winners:

Miami -19 vs Florida Atlantic – Lock of the Week

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I’m making this my Lock of the Week mostly because I haven’t heard of a majority of the teams playing tonight, so this is not the best start to my picks. Miami is 7-2 on the year, and they are coming off a Sweet 16 appearance from last year. I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about Florida Atlantic, other than that they seem like a team that kind of stinks at sports. Take The U, and pray to God they cover.

Oregon State +3.5 vs Long Beach State

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The two of these teams are a combined 5-17 on the season, so yeah this is a great game to bet on. I’m going with Oregon State because they’re coming off an NCAA Tournament appearance last year so they can play a little bit, but mostly because they’re named the Beavers, and that’s awesome. Beaver Nation, let’s go.

Drexel +3.5 @ Rider

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I wanted to take Rider here, but I couldn’t find any pictures of their team to use, so I have no other choice but to take Drexel. Is that the best way for me to make my picks? No, no it’s not, but the more I write about this pick, the more I love Drexel here. Road warriors who nobody believes in. Screw the haters, let’s do this. Also I just saw that Drexel’s team name is the Dragons, and there’s no chance a team named the Dragons is going to lose (not cover).

South Alabama -2.5 vs Samford

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South Alabama is currently riding a three-game losing streak, but I love them in this spot. Okay, I don’t actually love them because the who hell could ever love a South Alabama basketball game, but I needed a game to pick and this was one of the first games I saw. South Alabama ends the losing streak tonight, and puts money in all of our pockets. ‘Tis the season.

Portland -4 vs South Dakota

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Finally, we’ve reached the end of my picks from hell. Why am I taking Portland you ask? Good question, here’s my answer: I have no idea. All of these games suck ass, but I have to pick five games, and this is one of my winners. If I have to give you a rational thought as to why I’m taking them, it’s because I like that they’re the home team, and they’ve played pretty well on their home court this year. I may have made that up, but can you blame me? I’m betting on a freaking Portland vs. South Dakota State game for gods sake.

I can see these picks going any of two ways. The first one being I go 0-5, which is the most likely of scenarios, or I fall ass backward and luck out going 2-3. Either way both of the outcomes suck, so I encourage you to go against me with all of these picks. Pray for my bank account because it’s going to take a pretty big hit this weekend with all of these bad picks, not to mention the fact that I still need to do my Christmas shopping. Should be a good time.

Record on the season: 7-3

Locks of the Week: 2-0