via Shutterstock

There are plenty of reasons not to get in a street fight, but getting your dick chopped off, commonly referred to as Rule #384, HAS to be near the top. Seriously, just kill me. Don’t give me one of those prosthetic dicks, don’t turn me into a woman, just f*cking put me outta my misery on the spot. I’ll sign whatever legal paperwork necessary.

We take you up to Canada, where this guy is having a worse week than any American by far. According to the Toronto Sun, 20 people witnessed a man having his penis cut off followed by five gunshots, but no one saw or heard anything. So not only did this dude get his baby-maker severed, but it happened in the hood, where ain’t nobody snitching. Maybe if this happened in a trendy downtown area, they’d have a shot of catching this guy, but you know nobody is ratting where this happened.

Via Toronto Sun:

In this bloody incident, just before 4:00 A.M. Saturday on Mercer St. near John St., there’s now two men in hospital with stitches — one set sewed back a man’s severed penis. The other victim had major surgery to repair the damage caused by a bullet going into his stomach.

Toronto Police said in a news release Tuesday: “During the fight, a man from the first group stabbed a 38-year-old man from the second group” and “a man from the first group then shot a 26-year-old man from the second group.”

The stabbed man jumped on a rented party bus before being rushed to hospital. An ambulance came to save the gunshot victim — four of the other shots could have ricochetted into the windows of a condo building.

It is believed the shooter fled on foot. Police have released a photograph of a suspect who they describe as a “black man … wearing a red puffy, down-filled jacket, dark pants, and a dark shirt.”

Who knew Toronto was like the wild west? The way Drake is always thinking about it, you’d think it was just a bunch of Canadians drinking Molsons having a grand ole time, but nope, you step to the wrong dude, you can lose your dick. Luckily for this guy, the doctors were able to reattach his penis, meaning he doesn’t have to kill himself now.

“The victim of the stabbing suffered grievous, life-changing injuries,” is all Hominuk would confirm.

“The doctors did work hard to reattach his penis,” said a source.

via NFL

Tough week in America. The election has been exhausting, Trump supporters are shitting on everyone, Hillary people are crying everywhere, we’re now officially barreling towards winter, just a tough week. Point being, we could all use a distraction. And what better a distraction is there than sport, especially when that sport is football. So what does the NFL do? The same thing they always do: bend us over the table and laugh their way to the bank as they drink our tears.

So, how’d Goodell and the boys give us the swift shaft this time? By scheduling yet another HORRENDOUS Thursday night game: the Baltimore Ravens against the CLEVELAND BROWNS. Now, before you’re all like, “But Eric, Thursday night games are always trash, what makes this week any different?” I’ll tell you what makes this f*cking different: the Cleveland Browns are on national television. Every NFL team is guaranteed one nationally televised game, and the NFL chose to shove the Browns down our throats during the most miserable week of the year.

Coincidence you say? Hell no. Literally, every person in the WORLD, let alone the country, knew election day was November 8. Including the NFL. And what do they decide to do with that information? Shove it right back up our asses. Classic NFL. F*ck Goodell.

Should The NFL Get Rid Of Thursday Night Football?

The NFL is in trouble. Not real, threatening-the-future-of-the-league-trouble, but by NFL standards — they’re in

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Last May, we told you about the exciting news of the upcoming sci-fi movie/space opera Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Today, director Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, Lucy) spoke with IMDB on Facebook Live about the movie and debuted the movie’s first trailer. We have to say that it looks incredible. Tons of different species, beautiful colors, and multiple locations are what science fiction action movies should be about.

Valerian stars Cara Delevingne, Dane DeHaan, Clive Owen, and even features Rihanna. Check out the trailer below.

You know what’s cool about that trailer, besides everything? That it’s the first time a Beatles song (“Beautiful”) has ever been legally used for a movie trailer. It’s also the last time you’ll see any of those scenes before the release of the movie since Luc Besson plans on using different scenes for all of his new trailers.

Honestly, it has been far too long since the making of a quality, original space opera. People have tried (Jupiter Ascending, anyone?) but overall it’s pretty hard to do it right. So in case you’re wondering what’s actually going on in the teaser trailer that you saw above, check out the plot from Wikipedia:

Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are special operatives for the government of the human territories charged with maintaining order throughout the universe. Valerian has more in mind than a professional relationship with his partner – blatantly chasing after her with propositions of romance. But his extensive history with women, and her traditional values, drive Laureline to continuously rebuff him. Under directive from their Commander (Clive Owen), Valerian and Laureline embark on a mission to the breathtaking intergalactic city of Alpha, an ever-expanding metropolis comprised of thousands of different species from all four corners of the universe. Alpha’s seventeen million inhabitants have converged over time – uniting their talents, technology and resources for the betterment of all. Unfortunately, not everyone on Alpha shares in these same objectives; in fact, unseen forces are at work, placing our race in great danger.

There are definitely a lot of… elements we can see being passed on from the Fifth Element, but that’s a really good thing. That movie did an excellent job of portraying a universe shared by thousands of different species. For example, these guys that look like something that should be in a sci-fi movie.

Valerian: Luc Besson's Sci Fi Movie Details, Actors, Plot

Director Luc Besson just announced on Twitter that Valerian: The City of A Thousand Planets will

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE →

via Instagram

Damn. You wanna talk about a total package. Israeli lawyer Yarden Haham is the definition of the full package. She’s exotic, she’s smart, she can dance, she’s successful, she’s probably super wealthy, and oh yeah, she’s super hot. I’d get my dumbass in trouble just so I could have her represent me. I’d have to courts drag out the process as long as I possibly could just so I could keep chilling with her. Sure, that may ruin any chance I have with her, ya know, cause of that whole lawyer-client code of ethics shit (unless this is The Night Of) but who am I kidding — chick’s way out of my league (and yours) anyway.

Therefore, our best shot with Yarden is to get yourself in trouble and just hope that she feels so sorry for you while during your case that she ends up sleeping with you. Totally realistic scenario.

Follow Yarden on Instagram and Facebook !

Oksana Neveselaya: Hottest Photos On The Internet

I bet you’ve never seen a teacher that looks like this. I don’t know where

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The “Hot Ones” wing challenge series is one of my favorite shows on YouTube. Action Bronson is one of my favorite rappers to watch. So it was the second easiest decision of this week to click on a video of BamBam joining Sean on “Hot Ones.” Is he the best guest ever? Sadly, no, but he’s 100% the person you’d expect him to be. On top of that, Sean does an outstanding job of rolling with the punches (of which there are many).

Big Body? Check. Vaping copious amounts of THC? Check. A massive head to match a massive stomach? Double-check. Say what you will about Mr. Wonderful’s confidence, but the guy does know a hell of a lot about the world of food and the culinary arts.

Never change, Action. Never change.

(Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images)

Jonnu Smith, a senior tight end for Florida International University, will be out for the remainder of the college football season because of a disgusting attack. According to Sports Illustrated, Smith’s girlfriend, Mary Gaspar, who is five months pregnant with his first child, poured boiling water on his head on Halloween night. The serious burns on his head, neck, shoulder and back were so severe that he’s had to cut his college football career short.

This sucks for multiple reasons, not the least of which are because A) burns are the worst injuries ever and B) he’s an NFL-level recruit who was looking to get drafted this year. This assault could potentially have cost Jonnu a career in the NFL, millions of dollars of lost salary, and even millions in child support for Jonnu (who is now probably going to prison).

What Happened?

So what exactly happened that caused him to dump boiling water on his head? It was just an argument that the two had in Smith’s own dorm room. Here’s the description from the Miami Herald:

According to the arrest affidavit, Smith suffered severe burns on his head, neck, back, a shoulder and an arm.

Miami Gardens resident Mary Gaspar, five months pregnant with Smith’s child, was charged with aggravated battery. Gaspar has been released on a pre-trial release order.

The two argued through the day over the attention Smith was paying her and their relationship. While in Smith’s dorm room and “feeling extremely emotional and stressed,” she told police, she boiled a pot of water. Then, she walked over to Smith and poured it on him.

When Smith didn’t react strongly enough for her, she started hitting him with her open hands, she told police.

The extent of the burns aren’t known, but Smith has been seen back on campus even though he’s not fit for the football field.

So first she burns him and then when he doesn’t hit her back, she starts slapping him. That shows both intelligence and good rationale, two incredibly important things for a parent.

Obviously there are some outstanding circumstances here, namely that Gaspar is five months pregnant, but that’s unacceptable behavior from a human being. A man would probably (rightfully) spend multiple years in jail for that kind of attack. Here’s a photo of the couple in happier times.

Gaspar has been charged with aggravated battery.

Who Is Mary Gaspar?

Mary Gaspar is a woman who is five months pregnant with FIU TE Jonnu Smith’s baby. She is also currently under arrest for aggravated battery after pouring boiling water on his head.

Here are some photos from her Twitter before she deleted her account.

And a fitting Twitter headline photo. “Daddy’s Little Monster” sounds about right.

Here’s Mary Gaspar’s mugshot after she was arrested.

Pizza Hut

Pizza lovers and gamers, rejoice! Pizza Hut and Xbox have joined forces to make this a very special holiday season. From November 7 to December 24, Pizza Hut will be giving away an Xbox One S every hour. All you have to do is purchase a Triple Treat Box from a Pizza Hut and type in your entry code here to see if you’re a winner. Pizza Hut will give away a total of 1,140 Xbox One S systems over this period, which will all include a standard controller and a badass Pizza Hut red controller.

For those wondering what goes in a Triple Treat Box, here are all the tasty details.

· Two medium one-topping pizzas (available on Hand Tossed, Thin N’ Crispy® or Pan)
· An order of breadsticks
· A Hershey’s Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie
· A chance to win holiday fun for the whole family with an Xbox One S and custom Pizza Hut red controller

A Triple Treat Box costs $19.99, and in addition to all that mouth-watering food, you will also receive an offer for $10 off an Xbox One game. But that’s not all when it comes to this awesome promotion, my friends. One extremely lucky individual can take home the grand prize of an Xbox One S, a Samsung 65″ 8-Series 4K SUHD TV, and a sound system.

You can head on over to Pizza Hut to order a Triple Treat Box online, and you can check out all of the official rules here. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Childish Gambino released “Me And Your Mama” a new single from his upcoming album. The song premiered on Zane Lowe’s Beats1 Radio but hit Spotify less than an hour later. As Complex stated, other than the fact that the song is dope, this release confirms the that Childish Gambino would release a new album this December. The new album will be called Awaken, My Love!.

Gambino added a link to the album preorder on his Twitter, but it’s down because so many people are clicking on it.

Stream “Me and Your Mama” by Childish Gambino

Listen to the new track below.

via Getty

It looks like Snoop Dogg was just a little too high when he decided to ask Drake about moving to Canada.

With news of the recent election, Snoop Dogg took to Twitter and Instagram to ask Drake if he could set him up with a home in Canada.

No big deal, right? Wrong. It turns out that @champagnepapi is NOT Drake. On Twitter, Drake’s handle is @Drake.

This is who Snoop Dogg tweeted at by mistake.

Classic, classic mixup by Snoop Doggy Dogg. First off, that is an absurd Twitter bio. I could not even begin to tell you what it means. I thought it was a rap lyric, but I could not find any match. If that were me, I would go with two trips for those groceries. Think about it. There’s definitely valuable stuff in those bags like milk and eggs. If you drop that bag, you’re screwed. I guess if I make two trips, I Sweatergawd won’t tweet for me. Damn…

Also, is anyone else confused as to why Snoop wants to move to Canada? I understand that he probably wants to leave because of Donald Trump, but Snoop, your home state of California just made recreational weed legal. Why do you want to leave so soon? I need you to stay, Snoop. You’re too entertaining to leave. I need more funny posts of you smoking and ranting. America needs you, Snoop!

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Well, well, well, I had myself a nice little Sunday last weekend by going 3-1-1 with the picks, which has been my best Sunday since I started writing these picks. I even hit my Lock of the Week with Dallas, thanks for sucking Cleveland, never change.  I would have gone 4-1, but Cam Newton and the Panthers are a bunch of cowards who are only able to manage a push against the freaking Rams. Go to hell, dude. Anyway, with that successful Sunday now behind us, we move on to Week 10 which provides us with a great slate of games to choose from. My picks have been so good as of late that even Eric is using my picks as his. I wonder how many he’ll use this week. Gotta stay hot after winning week, so enough of this small talk and let’s get on with this week’s winners:

Texans -1 @ Jaguars

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Do I feel great picking the Texans? No, no I do not because I think they’re a fraud team that benefits from playing in a shitty division. Luckily for them, the Jaguars happen to be in that division, and they’re one of the worst teams in the league. It might be a close game, but I expect Houston to win by at least a field goal. I’m also banking on Deandre Hopkins having a monster game because my fantasy is currently on a three-game win streak and making a playoff push, so I need him to break out of this slump in a big way. And by breaking out of this slump, I mean Brock Osweiler needs to stop being an asshole and throw him some goddamn touchdowns.

Packers -2.5 @ Titans – Lock of the Week

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Love Trump Hates or whatever that saying is, and I love the shit out of this game. I’m well aware that the Packers are a team with a lot of flaws and probably aren’t Super Bowl contenders, but the Titans are a bad team in a bad division. Aaron Rodgers has been playing well as of late, which has been awesome for my fantasy team, and I’m looking for him to keep up his elevated play against bad Titans defense. This is a sneaky big game for Green Bay, and I think they’ll rise to the occasion with a statement win. Go Pack Go.

Buccaneers -1 vs Bears

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Unlike the Packers game, I do not feel great about this game. Although the Bears are pretty awful, the Bucs are quite terrible as well, but here I am taking them. I’m going with Tampa because I like how they’re the home team, and I think that Chicago is going to have trouble covering Mike Evans. I’m also not ready to write off Jameis Winston just yet. He hasn’t had the season people were expecting him to have going into his second year, but I think he’ll have a big game on Sunday and put some money in my pockets.

Broncos +2.5 @ Saints

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This has trap game written all over it, but guess what? I DON’T GIVE A DAMN. Denver is coming off of a loss on national television to division rival Oakland, and I think they’re going to respond by going into New Orleans and getting a W. I know the Superdome is a tough place to play, but the Broncos are the better team and they’re going to show it on Sunday. I also wouldn’t mind if Demaryius Thomas had himself a big game in the process of making this a winning pick. Need those fantasy points.

Jets vs Rams UNDER 39.5

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Betting on the under is for squares, especially when the point total is this low, but these are two of the worst offenses in the league. They both have horrific quarterbacks and pretty decent defenses. To be fair, the Jets’ defense hasn’t been great this year, but the Rams’ offense is one of the two worst in the league. I think the Jets will win, but it’s going to be a very low scoring game. Hopefully, all the Jets’ scores come from Matt Forte, who has been the spark plug of resurgence for my scorching hot fantasy team.

I couldn’t feel better about this week’s picks, so much so that I’d even consider parlaying all of them. Okay, I won’t do that because that’s just getting cocky, but you get my point. Let’s keep this party going into next Sunday with another week of winners.

Record on the Season (started in Week 6): 10-8-2

Locks of the Week: 2-2

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Last week wasn’t my best work as a gambler, but that’s going to happen. Started off the day 0-3, including missing my Lock of the Week, but I rallied late to finish off my Saturday at 2-3 so it wasn’t all bad. Before I move onto my picks for this week, I would like to apologize to all my readers (which isn’t very many, but people forget that Rome wasn’t built in a day) for my record this year. I’m 10-10 since I’ve started making my picks, which is the definition of average, and the last time I checked we weren’t average here in America. So enough of picking games like a goddamn schmuck, this is the week where I finally go 4-1 or 5-0. I love, not like, LOVE the games this week, and it’s time to rock n roll. Here are your winners for this Saturday:

Clemson vs. Pitt OVER 66.5

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I don’t have the balls to take Pitt outright here because I think that Clemson is obviously the better team, and they’re getting kind of hot right now, but I love the over in this game. Both teams score a ton of points, and with the Heisman race still somewhat up in the air, I could see Deshaun Watson having a huge game against a Pitt defense that hasn’t been very good this year, and getting closer to Lamar Jackson as the Heisman favorite. I haven’t been good on picking the overs for games this year because I’m not some type of lunatic who willingly bets on under, but that changes on Saturday.

Penn State -7 @ Indiana

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As it turns out, Penn State is kind of good this year. That doesn’t mean their fans aren’t a bunch of annoying losers, but I can’t let my opinion (well, in this case, the fact because Penn State fans are the worst) get in the way of picking a winner. The Nittany Lions average almost 34 points a game, which by most standards is pretty good, and their defense has been playing pretty well as of late. I don’t think Indiana will be able to score on them, so expect Penn State to not have any trouble this weekend. And if they lose then we can all laugh at the fanbase’s expense, a true win-win situation.

West Virginia -2 @ Texas

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0-3 is where I stand on picking Texas games this year, but as the old saying goes, “Fourth times a charm.” I’m going with the Mountaineers because I think they’re the better team, and it’s getting to the point where I’m just going to keep picking against Texas just to prove a point. This is finally where my Texas nightmare comes to an end, and if not then we’ll be back here next week picking against Texas.

Stanford -3 @ Oregon

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Stanford has been a big disappointment this year, but Oregon sucks. I don’t like that this is the third road team I’m taking, but whatever, there’s no turning back now. Stanford has given Oregon trouble in recent years and I don’t expect that to change, with the Ducks having a bad year. If Christian McCaffrey knows what’s good for him, he’ll do us Stanford backers a favor and score like three touchdowns in a blowout victory to boost that draft stock of his.

Missouri -3.5 vs Vanderbilt – Lock of the Week

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Both of these teams are trash, so what better game to pick as my Lock of the Week? Nobody in their right mind would ever gamble on Vanderbilt because they’ve always sucked for the most part, and will probably continue to suck for years to come. While I also think Missouri sucks and is a fraud SEC team that needs to go back to their home in the Big 12, they suck less than Vanderbilt, and I like how they’re at home. Missouri Tigers, lock it up and rub it down.

It may have taken a few weeks to get here, but Week 11 is where my picks take off to the goddamn moon. The 3-2/2-3  Record Train ends on Saturday folks. 4-1 or 5-0 is happening, let’s have ourselves a nice little Saturday.

P.S. Bet all your winnings on Conor McGregor Saturday night.

Record on the Year (started in Week 7): 10-10

Locks of the Week: 2-2

By no surprise to anyone, protests against Donald Trump as the next president have already begun. They are sweeping the nation at a rapid pace.

Well, things have gotten violent in some areas. In the video below, an older man was pulled from his car and beaten up by a group of Chicago teens / young adults who were against Donald Trump. They are screaming “You voted Trump?” and “Beat his ass! Don’t vote Trump.” The group later stole some of the man’s belongings, including his car.

What the actual f*ck? Are you serious?

This is a disturbing and disgusting video. Democracy! Woo! Let’s use our right to vote for whoever we shall please, but then to proceed to beat everyone up who does not support our beliefs! This will solve all our problems and remove Trump from the presidency!

How dumb can you be? There are actually peaceful and successful protests going on throughout the country. Those against Trump are finally getting involved in their communities and standing up for what they believe in. You know what, I absolutely hate protests, but I’ll give credit to those people actually going out and peacefully standing up for what they believe in. I wasn’t a Hillary or Trump guy, but I’m going to support Trump for now because I love America and he was elected to lead this great country. If you want to peacefully protest, that’s your right and I’m not going to stop you.

However, what an awful look for people protesting against Trump. Some protesters are beating innocent people up because Trump won a fair and democratic election? Seriously? Trump is my next president. He’s your next president. He’s every single American citizen’s next president. Beating up and stealing an older man’s car is not going to change anything. It just makes you look arrogant and dumb. If people are going to start getting violent over the results of the election, then those people need to be sent on the next ship to Mars and never come back.

Getty Image / Stacy Revere

Like global warming, concussions in the NFL are a real problem that some people will deny exist. But not Alex Boone, a guard for the Minnesota Vikings. Boone knows what the deal is in regards to his health and his future, and it’s not particularly bright. Boone has been in the NFL since 2010, but only this week has he been kept out of a game because of a concussion. It was such a jarring experience for him that he actually changed helmets from one that’s no longer manufactured to one that’s newer with better technology.

Still, though, he knows about the damage he’s sustained. During an interview with the St. Paul Pioneer Press, Boone had a pretty candid conversation with them about concussions:

This is a brutal game. I’m at a position where you’re getting hit constantly in the head. It’s one of those things where I know what’s going to happen to me someday. I signed up for this a long time ago, and I love this game more than anything.

I know what’s going to happen, but at the end of the day, if I can try to help myself be smarter and be better, then I will.

The last thing you want to hear from someone in regards to their brain is for them to say “I know what’s going to happen” in reference to the fact that t they could have constant migraines, be incapable of walking up or down stairs or start to have suicidal/homicidal tendencies.

As a high schooler, I hated playing the line. Before we as a species even understood the extent of damages that concussions could cause, I would never have wanted my kids to play the line. And now that we understand it’s the little, constant hits that cause CTE, I will do whatever I can to prohibit them from playing either the offensive or defensive line.

If you’re feeling still somewhat down about a certain somebody elected to office, here’s some new Star Wars Rogue One dopeness to help distract you for four minutes and thirty-six seconds, which is the exact amount of time you’ll spend watching this new international trailer twice. It might also remind you that there are, in fact, rulers throughout the galaxy who might actually be worse than Donald Trump.

The premise of the trailer is awesome because it gives us some background on Jayne Erso’s character, specifically her father. It also shows her mother and a gift that she received before her father was taken from her.

Personally, what I’m loving the most about this story is the alleged lack of force-wielding people (minus Darth Vader) in Rogue One. I understand that the blind asian guy probably isn’t blocking blaster bolts with a staff because of luck, but I’m really looking forward to a darker galaxy in Rogue One. Hopefully they deliver on that.

Check out the trailer below.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story opens December 16, 2016, followed by Star Wars: Episode VIII on December 15, 2017, the Han Solo Star Wars Anthology film on May 25, 2018, Star Wars: Episode IX in 2019, and the third Star Wars Anthology film in 2020.

Randall Slavin/Ocean Drive

Gabrielle Union is a 44-year-old actress from Omaha, Nebraska. Before hitting it big as an actress, Union graduated from UCLA with a degree in sociology. She got her start in television, as she scored small roles in shows such as Family Matters, Saved by the Bell: The New Class, Moesha, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and The Steve Harvey Show in the mid-to-late ’90s.

Union would make her film debut in 1999, with roles as Katarina “Katie” Darlingson in She’s All That and Chastity Church in 10 Things I Hate About You. But Union’s breakthrough role would come in 2000 when she played Isis in Bring It On. She was praised for her performance, and the cheerleading comedy was a smash hit, making $90.4 million at the box office on a budget of just $11 million.

Since Bring It On, Union has booked a ton of significant roles in several well-received films. Some of her most popular roles were as Denise Johnson in The Brothers (2001), Evangeline “Eva” Dandrige in Deliver Us from Eva (2003), Daria in Cradle 2 the Grave (2003), Sydney “Syd” Burnett in Bad Boys II (2003), Julia Rossmore in Daddy’s Little Girls (2007), Geneva Wade in Cadillac Records (2008), Kristen in Think Like a Man (2012) and Think Like a Man Too (2014), Erica Long in Top Five (2014), and Esther in The Birth of a Nation (2016).

Gabrielle also plays the titular role in the television show Being Mary Jane, which will air its fourth season in January of 2017. Gabrielle’s next film role will be as Rachel in Almost Christmas, and the holiday comedy-drama will hit theaters on November 11, 2016.

As for her personal life, Gabrielle was married to former NFL running back Chris Howard from 2001-2006. Gabrielle would later remarry, tying the knot with NBA star Dwyane Wade in 2014. Wade is a very lucky man, as Gabrielle clearly still has her fastball at 44 years young.

The Slender Man is essentially the Boogey Man for millennials. All I’ve ever really known about it is that it’s a relatively new urban legend, and the internet absolutely obsesses over it. I had NO idea of Slender Man’s connection to such a horrifying real-world crime.

The Slender Man fictional supernatural character that originated as an Internet meme created by Something Awful forums user Eric Knudsen (a.k.a. “Victor Surge”) in 2009. It is depicted as resembling a thin, unnaturally tall man with a blank and usually featureless face, wearing a black suit.

Stories of the Slender Man commonly feature him stalking, abducting, or traumatizing people, particularly children. Fan fiction relating to the Slender Man includes literature, art and video series.

As for the HBO Documentary, Beware the Slender Man, the film will focus on a near-fatal stabbing of a 12-year-old girl in Waukesha, Wisconsin.

Via Uproxx:

On May 31, 2014, 12-year-old Wisconsin residents Morgan E. Geyser and Anissa E. Weier allegedly stabbed a classmate 19 times with a knife in order to impress Slender Man, an unusually tall, faceless internet monster created by a Something Awful forum user. The victim survived the attack (which was planned months in advance), and the now-14-year-old perpetrators, one of whom “filed a plea of not guilty due to mental illness,” are being tried for first-degree attempted murder as adults. “Many people do not believe Slender Man is real,” one of the girls said, according to the criminal complaint. “[We] wanted to prove the skeptics wrong.” Geyser and Weier, who are seeking separate trials, are currently being held in at a juvenile detention facility.

The synopsis:

Shot over 18 months with heartbreaking access to the families of the would-be murderers, the film plunges deep down the rabbit hole of their crime, a Boogeyman and our society’s most impressionable consumers of media. The entrance to the internet can quickly lead us to its dark basement, within just a matter of clicks. How much do we hold children responsible for what they find there?

[h/t Uproxx]

Instagram @ErikaCanella

Congratulations to Erika Canella, the winner of Miss Bum Bum 2016. The butt model from Bahia, Brazil was the big winner in this year’s annual contest, officially giving her the title of the “Best Butt in Brazil,” and therefore the world. As the winner, Erika receives $22K modeling contract and the opportunity to make much more in endorsement deals.

She takes over the throne from Suzy Cortez, who actually made it into more than a couple of tabloids throughout her reign as Miss BumBum queen.

Suzy Cortez: 22 Hottest Photos of Miss BumBum Brazil 2015

Suzy Cortez won the Miss BumBum Brazil 2015 pageant this year, bringing both her and

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Believe it or not, the Miss BumBum contest is highly anticipated throughout the year by Brazilians and the media–partly because of the ridiculous name but also because people like to look at Brazilian butts. This year, over 17 million votes were made for the finalists. But it was not without its own share of cat fights. From The Sun:

Divas Danny Morais  and Karyn Alvyshave – also known as MC Sexy – have been accusing each other of cheating after voting closed last night.

Both accused each other of bribery as they bid for the coveted title.

Model Danny Morais, from Rio, also claimed arch rival MC Sexy had bottom implants that give her a bumpy 46 inch booty.

This is strictly against pageant rules.

Erika managed to stay out of all the baloney, though, and won herself a title that she should be very happy about. Check out her hottest photos in the gallery below and tell us if you think she’s a winner.

A Tribe Called Quest have released their latest album, We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service. The good news is that it’s finally here after 18 years, the bad news is that Tribe member Q-Tip has stated this will be their last album ever. The legendary hip hop group rallied names like Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, Elton John, Jack White, Andre 3000, Talib Kweli, and more for their cause, which has resulted in a ton of features. Most importantly, though, it features the fourth member of the group Phife Dog, who died earlier this summer.

The spirit of the album is old school rap, that includes “a group aesthetic” (as ?uestlove wrote in an Instagram photo praising their work) that really can’t be found anywhere else today. The lyrics are tight and top-notch, the energy is real, and the anticipation is building for their Saturday Night Live performance this weekend.

Stream We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service

We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service Track List

SIDE 1

1. The Space Program
2. We The People…
3. Whateva Will Be
4. Solid Wall of Sound
5. Dis Generation
6. Kids…
7. Melatonin
8. Enough

SIDE 2

1. Mobius
2. Black Spasmodic
3. The Killing Season
4. Lost Somebody
5. Movin Backwards
6. Conrad Tokyo
7. Ego
8. The Donald

Today marks the beginning of college basketball and this year’s season is sure to be one to watch. Last year’s national champions Villanova lost a couple of very important players in Ryan Arcidiacono and Daniel Ochefu, but all the other reigning champs stayed on the team and will be looking to continue their winnings for the 2016-2017 season. Meanwhile, Duke and Kennedy have stocked up on some excellent new players, and teams like Kansas, North Carolina (last year’s ACC winner), and Oregon are no slouches either.

But what about for this season? What teams should you look out for? What team will shoot straight fire on the basketball court? Just look below to find out our picks for the top 10 college basketball teams for the 2016-2017 season.

10. Michigan State

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Michigan State got hurt this summer, with both Ben Carter and Gavin Schilling out with knee injuries and their return to basketball is still yet to be determined. Carter’s injury is reportedly a little bit more significant than Schilling’s, and head coach Tom Izzo will be looking to his younger undergraduate players to pick up the slack. Despite these two disparaging injuries, the Michigan State Spartans have acquired a phenomenal recruiting class in the form of Miles Bridges, promising freshman Nick Ward, Cassius Winston, Josh Langford (a player who has also suffered an injury that once effected his team). With Denzel Valentine not around anymore, Point guard Tum Tum Nairn will probably take over as team leader. Eron Harris (9.3 ppg) has also returned to the fold, and will add the much-needed experience points to a team full of freshmen and sophomores. But if the young team picks up the slack and if the college basketball veterans contribute their advanced skills and knowledge then this team will be a force to be reckoned with for the 2016-2017 season.

9. Virginia

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Tony Bennett is a superb head coach molding his players into a cohesive team of complete fury. Expect them to break down the doors of their competition. Last season, the Cavaliers were only mere minutes and inches away from entering their very first final four before they collapsed to Syracuse, only officially making it to the Elite Eight. And this team will have to work extra hard, not only to make up for a crushing defeat last season that halted their championship aspirations, but because they lost two key players in Malcolm Brogdon and Anthony Gill. But the Virginia team isn’t exactly lacking in experience as point guard London Perrantes (11.0 ppg, 4.4 apg) remains in this team and has returned for his senior season. Meanwhile, Memphis transfer Austin Nichols has been thrown into the Cavaliers’ melting pot. And don’t forget the freshmen, as Da’Andre Hunter, guard Kyle Guy, and forward Mamadi Diakite add some new blood to the squad. Also, look out for veterans Darius Thompson (4.3 ppg), Marial Shayok (4.3 ppg), and Isaiah Wilkins (4.6 ppg). Grab the popcorn because this team is one to watch!

8. Louisville

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Head coach Rick Pitino is back with a team of excellent athletes loaded with skills. The Cardinals will be looking up for the 2015-16 season that ended before many would have liked because of their self-imposed postseason ban. But this just means that the Cardinals are all the more hungry to prove their worth on the basketball court. This team is looking pretty impressive and is home to two national breakout candidates in Quentin Snider (9.4 ppg, 3.5 apg) and Donovan Mitchell (7.4 ppg, 3.4 rpg). With Chinanu Onuaku now in NBA, they’ll have to rebound back, as this player leaving means that the there will be a big hole in this Louisville team’s defense. And if they can bounce back, you can expect this team in the final four, baby!

7. Wisconsin

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Badger seniors Bronson Koenig (13.1 ppg, 2.8 rpg, 2.4 apg) and Nigel Hayes (15.7 ppg, 5.8 rpg, 3.0 apg) aren’t only known for their actions inside the court, but outside the court as well, as they have been vocal about certain social issues (they are leaders on and off the court). Hayes got the preseason pick, which names him the pick to win the Big Ten Player of the Year, while Koenig is returning from last season in better shape and hungry to win. Greg Gard, who had his interim tag taken away at the end of the last year’s season, is coming back as well. Last year Wisconsin got to the Sweet 16 after a sluggish introduction in their Big Ten performance. Veterans Vitto Brown (9.7 ppg, 5.0 rpg) and Zak Showalter (7.5 ppg, 3.8 rpg) are also back in action and will look to bring the Badgers into the spotlight. And with all of the added star power, the Badgers may be the way to their third final four in four seasons.

6. North Carolina

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The Tar Heels were stopped in their tracks in last year’s national title game against Villanova. They may have choked when it came to forcing overtime with the Pennsylvania team, but this year, they look to make huge comeback with the aspiration of actually winning that national title this time around. Junior point guard Joel Berry II (12.8 ppg, 3.8 apg), junior wing Justin Jackson (12.2 ppg, 3.9 rpg) and senior power forward Isaiah Hicks (8.9 ppg, 4.6 rpg) are all capable of taking this team a stellar season. But the loss of Theo Pinson to a foot injury really sucks for the Tar Heels, but they still have the depth to pull it off and take home the gold. This team will be absent of their former leader Marcus Paige, but they still can be led to victory with a phenomenal line-up.

5. Oregon

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The Ducks want to win, but they’ve been plagued with a couple of foot injuries from this year and last year. Dylan Ennis missed a bunch of time last season for hurting his foot, while forward Dillon Brooks (16.7 ppg, 5.4 rpg, 3.1 apg) has just been sidelined with a foot issue. Brooks is a favorite for Pac-12 Player of the Year, so this will hurt the Oregon team. So that means other players will be hungry to fill the hole Brooks left behind, including players like Chris Boucher (12.1 ppg, 7.4 rpg, 2.9 bpg) who surprised many last season, while juniors Jordan Bell (6.8 ppg, 5.3 rpg) and Kavell Bigby-Williams and freshman M.J. Cage will make their presence known in the front court. Hopefully there best player Brooks will return, but either way, the Ducks will be looking to shine.

4. Kentucky

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The Wildcats have fresh blood on their squad; a team with talented freshmen that multiple scouting services have ranked as best in the country. The team’s leader guard Isaiah Briscoe (9.6 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 3.1 apg) is returning for another promising performance , while forward Derek Willis (7.7 ppg, 4.0 rpg) graces the court with his perimeter shots. This Kentucky team will have to make up for the loss of its top two scorers in Jamal Murray and Tyler Ulis, especially Ulis, who is one of the top leaders in college basketball. But they have fresh blood and some awesome returning athletes. The Wildcats are a team to look out for.

3. Villanova

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Villanova were the winners of last year’s national championship and now they find themselves in the top three of this list. Leaders Ryan Arcidiacono and Daniel Ochefu may be gone, but three seniors have stepped in to claim their spot and continue the warpath to victory: Josh Hart (15.5 ppg, 6.8 rpg; preseason Big East Player of the Year), Jenkins (13.6 ppg, 3.9 rpg) and forward Darryl Reynolds (3.6 ppg, 4.6 rpg). This team has fresh blood and some returning athletes, but what hurt this Pennsylvania team was the decision made by the NCAA, which did not clear five-star big man Omari Spellman and put him on the sidelines for now. This hurts Villanova, but don’t count out Pennsylvania (just look at Tuesday’s elections). This team wants to succeed, obviously as does every team, but if they win the national championship again then they will be the first team to repeat their success as national champion since Florida in 2007.

2. Duke

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Head coach Mike Krzyzewski pulled in a recruiting class that is ranked just behind Kentucky. But this team has been hurt with a few impactful injuries, including Harry Giles, who will be undergoing another knee procedure, while Jayson Tatum sprained his foot and Marques Bolden is on the sidelines with a lower leg injury. Tatum may be ready for the start of the season, but it is not known when Giles or Bolden will make their return to the basketball court. But the Blue Devils are still looking to lead a hot streak to victory with newcomers and returnees. Guard Grayson Allen (21.6 ppg, 4.6 ppg, 3.5 apg) is a certified pick for national player of the year, and he will be backed up on the court by Frank Jackson, Luke Kennard (11.8 ppg, 3.6 rpg) and Matt Jones (10.4 ppg, 2.5 rpg), all great perimeter shooters. The Blue Devils were a Sweet 16 team last year, but this year, Duke is looking to achieve a whole lot more.

1. Kansas

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The Jayhawks are at the very top of the list, which shouldn’t be a big surprise since head coach Bill Self has guided this Kansas team to 12 consecutive Big 12 regular season titles, with their 13th win in mind for the season. This team is looking to win its second national title in eight years. The Jayhawks will be led by guards Frank Mason III (12.9 ppg, 4.3 rpg, 4.6 apg) and Devonte’ Graham (11.3 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 3.7 apg), and will be followed by an elite couple of freshmen in the form of by competitive wing Josh Jackson and center Udoka Azuibuike. Returning players Carlton Bragg (3.8 ppg, 2.5 rpg) LaGerald Vick (2.1 ppg), Svi Mykhailiuk (5.4 ppg) and Landen Lucas (5.8 ppg, 6.8 rpg) will all add to a team that has been picked as the top in the league. They may have fallen to Villanova last year, but this year, this Kansas team is looking to shine like a million light bulbs on the basketball court. Expect big things from the Jayhawks!

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There are 231 million eligible voters in the United States, but it appears that over 130 million actually voted for Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. Meanwhile, 90 million decided to disregard their vote entirely and didn’t show up to the polls (at least to vote). What’s wrong? Didn’t like the insanely driven, trigger pressing, even oranger version of Chester Cheetah on bath salts? Were you not compelled by the other candidate, who had the personality of a robotic lizard? But even if the choices suck, your vote isn’t insignificant, especially in the swing states, where some were won by only a few thousand votes. All the numbers didn’t come in, and you’ll be updated on that when they do come. I wonder if Trump has a numbers guy (he most definitely does).

According to the United States Elections Project, there were 231,556,622 Americans eligible to vote, but only 131,741,000 voted. This means that a significant portion of the country didn’t vote. What’s wrong, people? Don’t like your intelligence insulted? The results show that 56.8% of Americans voted, yet 43.2% stayed away from the election booth. I’ll let you take a look at what I mean:

But don’t confuse registered voters with eligible voters, folks! Politico showed us in October 2016 that the data firm TargetSmart that voter registration has reached new heights with 200 million registered. This is a sharp increase from 146.3 million voters, who were registered in 2008’s election. There were eleven states that allowed same-day voter registration on Tuesday’s election.

It’s not like fewer people voted in this election than in previous elections. In fact, more eligible voters took part in this election than the 2012 election between Mitt Romney and Barrack Obama. FEC data from the 2012 election tells us that 54.87% of the voting-age population made use of their constitutional right and voted for a president, or in exact terms: 129,085,410 of the 235,248,000 eligible voters showed up to take part in the election. Although, this election didn’t beat out the Barack Obama vs. John McCain turnout in 2008 when 58.23% of the voting-age population participated. In that election, 131,313,820 was the total amount of votes cast.

Electoral Map If Only Voters Age 18-25 Counted: Map & Photo

The map doesn’t surprise me. This is usually how millennials vote. What does surprise me is

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Data from the New York Times tells us that although (as we know) Trump did win the most states in terms of the electoral college and ultimately won the election, but he did not win the popular vote. That designation rests in the cold hands of Hillary Clinton, who won the most votes, yet still fell to The Donald. She won 60.07 million votes, or 47.7% of the total popular vote, while Trump took home 59.79 million votes or 47.5%. This aggressive cheese doodle ended up beating the icy reptilian, going against many predictions of the election’s outcome.

Wanna see the popular vote chart for yourself? Here’s a chart of the popular vote, according to the Associated Press:

And check out this tweet, which compares voter turnout to the 2012 Presidential Elections:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know: Clinton won more votes in total, 231,567 more votes to be exact. But it’s the swing states that really matter, and they choose the Bizarro World’s mad-hatter instead of a malfunctioning android. However, the man with the orange-toned tan did not win by many votes, and some might describe Trump’s victories in Pennsylvania, Florida, Michigan and Wisconsin as “razor thin,” in that Clinton was only a hair away from victory.

Want to be as informed as possible about the elections? Well, I’m trying. So, here’s some more data of the turnout for this election. You’ll see the votes for the Republican candidate didn’t fluctuate much compared to the 2008 or 2012 elections, but it was the Democrats who really failed this one (obviously). She’s not quite the boss Obama was, and people were very vocal about it. When you look at this chart, I’m sure many of the Dems out there are kicking themselves for not feeling the Bern sooner:

As you can see Clinton is far behind Obama in this one, while Trump’s voter comparison to Romney and McCain isn’t by much. Which gets me to wonder, if she had beaten Obama in the primaries, would we all be coming off of a Republican presidency? It’s whatever, though. Here’s some more info about the election, yo:

And many thought Trump was being the sore loser with the polls. Boy, we were in for a surprise on Tuesday night leading into Wednesday morning. The cold Clinton failed, mostly in the Midwest cities, known as America’s heartland. She did win Wayne County, Michigan, but only received 517,000 votes, which pales in comparison to Obama, a candidate who won Wayne County with 595,253 votes. Obama won Michigan, but Clinton lost the state to Trump. Let’s hope that he makes Flint’s water infrastructure great again (seriously, this is really ridiculous, perhaps more so than a Trump victory)!

Clinton fell in Wisconsin as well. She won Milwaukee County, but even there Obama bested her. Lol, thanks Obama! Clinton got 288,986 votes there, while Obama received 319,819 votes in 2008, and 332,438 votes in 2012.

New Hampshire was another state that was a close call in the race, and we don’t have all the information yet, it’s still too soon to say. But Clinton took a small lead, with 348,126 votes for Hillary vs. 345,598 votes for Trump.

In the once booming industrial state of Michigan, the outcome was very narrow with Trump defeating Clinton by only 11,837 votes. Even Gary Johnson gained 173,021 votes. And over to the (presumably) cheese-lovers of Wisconsin, Trump only won by 27,257 votes. If she received the same votes that Obama received in Milwaukee County then Wisconsin would have been a Clinton state. But looks like the America’s Dairyland didn’t pick the candidate who cast a shade on inner-city youth in 1996.

And on the lighter side of things, Harambe, the gorilla who was shot dead earlier this year at the Cincinnati Zoo, received over 15 thousand votes. LOL. Way to use your constitutional right, people. Votes out for Harambe!

WATCH: Hillary Clinton Election Concession Speech Video

Hillary Clinton conceded the Presidency of the United States to Donald Trump in a speech

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