Who invents these bullshit holidays? Is it the same person that names nail polish colors? Or maybe it’s the people who invent movie slogans?

So, yeah, today is National No Beard Day, and I’ve never been more ashamed to be an American man. Growing facial hair (if you’re lucky enough to be able to) is essentially your right of passage as a man. It speaks to who you are inside, your character. Don’t listen to f*cking Hallmark. They’re making shady back door deals with the big razor companies to get you to buy more overpriced razors. Stay woke. Besides, ask 10 girls if they prefer facial hair or a clean shaven face, and I’m gonna bet you at least seven of them prefer the scruff.

I have the furthest thing from a 10/10 beard, but you will NEVER see my face clean shaven. The only time a clean shaven face is acceptable is if you’re going to court or a job interview. That’s it. Just ask our boy Wyatt. He asked me last week if he should shave his face for his engagement photos, and I nearly laughed him out of the office. He kept the beard.

Men: if you can, wear your beards long and proud. Our ancestors didn’t fight for our freedom so you can be forced to shave by THE MAN. This is America.

Nick Offerman: Reddit AMA Best, Most Hilarious Responses

Ron Swanson always delivers and will never, ever fail us.

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via Youtube

While I love a good ol’ conspiracy theory, it doesn’t mean I believe them. In fact, usually, I don’t. But I appreciate them. They make you think just a little deeper, question your reality just a little further. I just like to wrap myself up into the ‘what ifs.’ There are some that I find blatantly absurd, like lizard people and the flat-earth theory, and there are others that I actually kind of sort of believe. This is one of those conspiracy theories I kind of sort of believe.

Max Spiers, a 39-year-old father of two, was a relatively well-known man in the conspiracy theory crowd. Spiers traveled to Poland to give a lecture on conspiracy theories, specifically about conducting an investigation into alleged pedophilia that took place in a US Army-run facility in San Francisco nearly 30 years ago. He was later found dead in his Warsaw apartment in June.

This is where the conspiracies start. Spiers was ruled to have died from natural causes despite no post-mortem examination being carried out on his body. Similarly, those close to Spiers claimed he died in a Warsaw apartment after he ‘vomited a black liquid.’ Spiers’ mother, an English teacher, told the Telegraph:

“All I have is a death certificate from the Polish authorities that it was from natural causes, but no post-mortem was done so how can they tell that?

They are also refusing to release any paperwork about it to me because, absurdly, I don’t have his written permission.”

Now, here’s where things really start to become suspicious, and why Spiers’ death is relevant in the first place. Days before his death, he texted his mother saying “Your boy’s in trouble. If anything happens to me, investigate.” Similarly, shortly before his death, Spiers told Polish YouTube channel PorozmawiajmyTV that he was digging into the story and that his life may be in danger as a result.

Spiers was looking into allegations of widespread sexual abuse against children that was committed at a military base in California by employees acting under the influence of a satanic cult. According to the Associated Press, in 1987, the US Army demolished a child care center at its Presidio base in Northern California just one year after as many as 60 children were sexually abused there.

One employee Gary Willard Hambright, was indicted for molestation, though charges against him were ultimately dropped. Similarly, one of the officers at the base, Lt. Col. Michael Aquino, was alleged to have taken part in the abuse. Michael Aquino is known for being the self-confessed founder of a Satanic movement known as The Temple of Set.

Spiers was looking into the Presidio allegations and what role Aquino played. Spiers believed Presidio to be part of a larger underground movement that entailed ritual sexual abuse of children in San Francisco in the late 1980s.

So what do we think? Some seriously next level shit right? We’re talking lead singer of Blink-182 emailing Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager level shit. We’re talking 1919 World Series level shit.

What Happened?

Max Spiers, a 39-year-old father of two, was a well-known British conspiracy theorist crowd. Spiers traveled to Poland to give a lecture on conspiracy theories, specifically about conducting an investigation into alleged pedophilia that took place in a US Army-run facility in San Francisco nearly 30 years ago. He was later found dead in his Warsaw apartment in June.

Who Is Max Spiers?

Max Spiers was a British Ufologist and conspiracy theorist, who sent his mother a text message days before his death earlier this year saying: “If anything happens to me, investigate.” Spiers, 39, originally from Canterbury, was found dead in Warsaw in June.

A policeman in Benton Harbor, MI has been placed on administrative leave after shooting and killing a man at 2:00 A.M. Tuesday morning, pending an investigation. According to the police statement, the officers responded to calls that someone was being held at gunpoint inside of a house. When the police arrived, the residents of the house said they knew nothing about the call or any guns. Once the officers left the house, though, a man popped out from the streets and started shooting at them.

The police shot and killed the man. The suspect is said to have had two guns on him.

Obviously, we’ll have to wait for the full investigation, but it sounds like the man who was shot and killed tried to ambush these officers after calling in a false report.

Sanctuary Marine Bermuda’s Facebook

Over the weekend, fisherman Tristan Loescher reeled in the biggest damn lobster my eyes have ever had the pleasure of coming across. He was off the coast of Bermuda right after Hurricane Nicole came through, when he came face to face with an absolute monster of a lobster. Here’s some pictures of the 14-pound lobster and video of Tristan catching and releasing the majestic beast.

That is just a preposterously large lobster. It’s so large that Tristan won’t even have to exaggerate the size of his catch when telling this story for the rest of his life. That’s uncharted territory for a fisherman.

While releasing the lobster was definitely the right thing to do, I’m still a little salty no one got to feast on that bad boy. If I caught that lobster, I would’ve thrown it into a boiling pot so fast it would make your head spin. I also would’ve needed a wheelbarrow full of melted butter to go with it too. My mouth is watering and my cholesterol is rising just thinking about that succulent meal. I need to get my ass down to Bermuda ASAP.

via 20th Century Fox

Video game movies suck, there’s just no two ways about it. Assassin’s Creed has got a chance to be good. The games are dope, Michael Fassbender is dope, and the effects look pretty sweet. But, at the end of the day, this will probably suck too.

Assassin’s Creed is an upcoming action-adventure film based on the video game franchise of the same name. It is directed by Justin Kurzel, written by Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper, and Bill Collage, and stars Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, and Michael K. Williams.

The film will be set in the same universe as the video games but features an original story that expands on the series’ mythology. Filming began in late August 2015 and lasted until January 2016. Assassin’s Creed is scheduled to be released on December 21, 2016, in the United States.

Vid.me

This past Saturday, a young man went into a liquor store to go on a beer run. He carried his three cases of delicious Natty Light to the counter and was ready to have himself one helluva night. But unfortunately for this party animal, he was underage and the clerk wasn’t fooled by his fake ID.

I don’t know if grabbing his ID back and hauling ass out of the store was the right move, but I can definitely understand where he was coming from. His world was crashing down on him, and he didn’t want to wait and find out if the clerk was going to confiscate his ID. He who hesitates is lost and there was no way in hell that kid was willing to lose his ID. Fake IDs are like gold at that age, so I can’t fault a man for doing everything in his power to keep his.

He can never go back to that liquor store again, but thanks to his Usain Bolt-esque dash out the door he lives to fight another day. He just needs to study the master of staying cool under pressure when buying alcohol with a fake ID.

(Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

Throw this dirty motherf*cker out of the league already. Vontaze Burfict, a man known for his disgraceful and literally life-threatening hits on the football field, once again made infamous headlines when he went for a low blow on Martellus Bennet last Sunday. During a pass play, New England Patriot Tight End Martellus Bennet had his back turned to Vontaze Burfict while looking to catch a pass. Although the ball wasn’t even thrown to Bennet, Burfict laid a dirty hit on Bennet’s knee that could have easily ended his career.

The National Football League is currently investigating the hit and reviewing their options, although some close to the NFL don’t believe that there’s any chance he gets suspended and fined. Check out the hit below and tell me what you think.

I don’t think there’s any argument to support anything but a dirty hit here. First of all, Bennet is pretty much already engaged with Pacman Jones. Second, Bennet doesn’t even get the ball. Third, Bennet was standing still–there was plenty of opportunity to hit him in the upper body. Finally, just look at Burfict’s body of work and the bodies he’s left in his wake.

Update 10/18/2016: The NFL has ruled that they might fine Burfict for stomping on LeGarette Blount after he scored a touchdown, rather than the dirty hit on Bennet. That’s like the US Government getting Al Capone for tax evasion instead of for murdering hundreds of people. Just insane.

Burfict is most notorious for his hit on Antonio Brown last season, which actually wound up getting him suspended for three games of the season. Antonio Brown had to leave the game and wasn’t able to play in the Divisional Game because of a concussion, one of the reasons the Steelers lost to the Denver Broncos. You can see that hit below.

Earlier that year, while also playing against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Burfict hit Ben Roethlisberger with another low shot. Another completely diabolical attack on a professional’s health and wellness. For this hit, he was fined nearly $70K. You can see that hit below.

But you know what he wasn’t fined for? This low blow on Roethlisberger, who had already been tackled.

If you didn’t see it. Watch that tackle again. After knocking Big Ben to the ground, Vontaze clearly knees the crap out of Roethlisberger’s shoulder, trying to injure the QB. Again, we’re seeing a serious pattern of violence here. And we’re not even done with this guy’s infractions. Those are just three examples of aggression against ONE TEAM.

Just one week before the gruesome hit on Antonio Brown, Vontaze Burfict pulled an equally dirty and despicable move on Ravens Tight End rookie Maxx Williams. Unfortunately, most of the videos of the hit have been removed because of copyright violations, but you can still see the suspension-worthy fine in the video below.

Burfict clearly lowers his helmet into the chin strap of the Tight End away from the play.

We’re not done either. Before he started headhunting and knee-capping, Vontze Burfict had this obsession with trying to break the ankles of players by twisting them after the tackle. He did it twice during a game against the Carolina Panthers, once against Cam Newton (who had just had a surgically repaired ankle), and once against Greg Olsen who had scored a touchdown.

For those intentional attempts at trying to hurt multiple franchise-level players, Vontaze was only fined $25K.

It’s clear to everyone but the NFL that a player like Vontaze Burfict hasn’t learned his lesson from any of the times that he’s tried to intentionally hurt people. This is not a player who leaves it all on the field, this is a player who tries to leave disabled corpses on the field. Fines do not matter to a man who makes $6.3 million a year.

You don’t have to explain to me that football is a violent sport and that defensive players can’t go for the upper body anymore because these are things that everybody knows. I think it’s high time that the NFL starts weeding out players who clearly have issues with player safety, and suspended Vontaze Burfict for the rest of the season. And don’t tell me that I’m a bad person for playing with someone’s money. The fact of the matter is that a sh*thead like Vontaze is “playing with other people’s money” every time he headhunts, knee caps, or knocks out a rookie with the crown of his helmet. He’s been warned multiple times to quit his bullsh*t.

Kick him out of the league already.

Getty

If you didn’t know that Curt Schilling was off his rocker, here’s reason #132 as to why the man is nuts.

On Monday, Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer had to leave the game in the 1st inning against the Blue Jays due to a finger injury. Bauer cut his pinky on a drone a few days before, which required stitches. The stitches opened up and his finger started profusely bleeding, leaving the Indians no choice but to remove him from the game. Truthfully, they had no other choice. Bauer’s finger was a faucet. Be warned, it looked really disgusting.

I’ll give Bauer some credit. It was a dumb to even pull out the drone when you know there’s a small chance of injury. He took full responsibility and did not back down from any questions. He even brought a drone to the press conference and explained how he cut his finger. Ironically, Bauer cut his pinky while repairing it, not flying it.

Enter Curt Schilling. Once the blood started to pour on Bauer’s finger, the Twitter trolls took to Curt Schilling’s page and started to compare Bauer’s bloody finger to Schilling’s bloody sock. Anyone with a brain can tell you that there is no comparison to the two. Bauer only had stitches in his finger while Schilling was coming off of surgery on his ankle. Bauer had to come out of the game early, while Curt pitched a gem in the 2004 ALCS against the Yankees. That being said, Schilling still felt the need to “silence” the people on Twitter.

Curt, you’re being trolled. Let it go. No one truly believes that your ankle and Bauer’s finger are the same. Bauer made a mistake and he owned up to it. Leave the kid, alone. It was a dumb move on his part. Luckily, the Indians still won the game. Besides, it’s not like you have ever done or said anything that was dumb…

There’s a new Marvel superhero on the road to becoming a comic book headliner. Ironheart will look to take Iron Man’s place as a super-intelligent, suited-up crime fighter protecting the world in a flying, full body outfit of high-tech armor. This fresh face in the world of Marvel is known as Riri Williams, a 15-year-old African-American girl, a super genius, whose vast intellect surpasses her predecessor.

Who Is Ironheart?

Who exactly is this new force? Who is this superhero expected to arrive at Marvel’s front door? Riri Williams is her name and Ironheart is her superhero alias. She was originally introduced in the comic book, Invincible Iron Man #7, as a prodigy at MIT, a young lady who was able to reverse engineer an old Ironman suit, and in effect, prevent a prison break and flip over a speeding truck.

But a new issue of Invincible Iron Man gives the Marvel audience a greater glimpse into the origins of Ironheart. New panels released by Time show Riri’s parents in a therapist’s office, discussing their daughter’s unusual behavior. The therapist reveals that their daughter is only acting out because of boredom, as she needs greater intellectual stimulation, and this is causing the issue. Riri Williams, better known as Ironheart to comic book fans, is a certified super-genius. She is smarter than her parents, the therapist, and even the great Tony Stark.

Riri Williams was created by writer Brian Michael Bendis and artist Mike Deodato. But Stefano Caselli will take up the artwork and Brian will continue to write and provide the script when the series officially launches this fall, when Ironheart finally arrives as a stand-alone superhero. As a bit of trivia information, this superhero is based on the young actress Skai Jackson, who also left her handprint on the superhero scene when she guest-starred in Disney XD’s Ultimate Spider-Man.

What Happened?

It’s the middle of October now, so let’s turn the calendar back to early July of this year: at that time, Marvel would make their big announcement that Tony Stark will be walking away from his spot as Iron Man, leaving it empty for the young 15-year-old Ironheart.

It looks like Marvel will giving Ironheart the typical superhero treatment. It appears as if they have provided us with another superhuman specimen with an incredible gift (think Spiderman, minus the webbing and climbing abilities and just add in the high-powered suit and brain). Indeed, she is very similar to other heroes, who are a type of outlier, who don’t seem to fit in with everyone else or “normal society,” but who have been given an incredible advantage and ability that they must use responsibly or risk falling into the ranks of villainy. Her parents were directed to nurture this gift so that she may share her great abilities with the world around her.

“As we say in the story: high intellects, out of frustration, can sometimes retreat into their own world. This young woman has had that burden but she also has a grounded parent who helped her get to this point. But she also has had a terrible tragedy that has informed her more than anything,” said creator Brian Bendis.

Bendis would also point out that, “Some of the intellectual characters at Marvel get to the point where they want to conquer the world and make it over in their own image. The fact that Riri, even after all she has been through, does not makes her mother the hero of this story. And we need to celebrate that kind of thing more anyhow.”

Marvel has given us a superhero which reflects the true diversity of its audience. Generations of super-strong white men in capes dominating the comic book scene are gradually being broken with superheroes like Ironheart. She demonstrates that a great hero can come at any age with any gender or color. In effect, one can argue that her stand-out character can help usher in a beautiful wave of acceptance in comic books as well as in the real world.

Haley Smith’s Instagram

When Haley Smith of Amarillo, Texas got engaged in July of 2015, she experienced some mixed emotions. She was ecstatic to spend the rest of her life with the man of her dreams, but she was extremely disappointed with how she looked in the proposal pictures. From People:

“I saw them and didn’t even recognize myself,” Smith, 24, tells PEOPLE. “I cried because this was one of the happiest moments of my life, but I was just so ashamed. I didn’t understand how Matt could want to be with someone like me. After seeing those, I knew I needed to change.”

The graduate student in psychology decided to make “slow habit changes” to effectively lose weight.

She started with small changes like not eating after 8:00 P.M. and only eating out twice a week. She progressed from there to follow a strict diet and hit the gym frequently for cardio and strength training. In the 15 months between the proposal and the wedding day, Smith dropped an absurd 110 pounds. Here are some more photos of her amazing transformation.

Awesome stuff. Seeing Haley drop all that weight almost makes me want to make some changes myself, as it’s not a good look getting super winded every week at beer league softball. I look like a goddamn Molina brother on the basepaths these days.

The newlyweds are currently celebrating their honeymoon in New Zealand, and I sincerely hope that my boy Matt is getting it in early and often. What a lucky son of a bitch.

This morning, an artist created a somewhat gross statue of a naked Hillary Clinton (with hoofed feet, because she’s a literal demon) and a Wall Street banker resting on her breast. The artist left it on the street during rush hour Tuesday morning, and within hours it had been bashed and beaten by Hillary supporters. The Daily News reports that almost immediately the statue started to cause an issue between people trying to break down the statue and people trying to keep it “erect.”

One woman, in particular, an employee in the area, took such offense that she started destroying it.

An artist erected an obscene statue of Hillary Clinton in downtown Manhattan Tuesday morning causing a heated fight between defenders of the profane piece of protest art and women trying to tear it down… The statue was up for less than three hours before an enraged woman toppled it over and started yelling at the statue’s creator [source].

There’s even at least one video of the argument. You can see it below.

I believe that the young man trying to raise the statue back up is actually the artist who probably spent a ton of time on the project. Then you have the woman in the hijab saying, “Just let it go.” OK. Yeah. Just let it go.

To me, the hypocrisy in this city is actually really surprising, although shame on me for thinking anything in this election could go over smoothly. It wasn’t even a couple of months ago that people were taking hundreds of photos of the Donald Trump statue with a micropenis. That thing lasted for at least a full day. But here, this woman can’t even let it go past 8:00 A.M. before they start breaking it. Honestly, I would bet my life that this woman hasn’t lived in NYC for more than five years. If she had, she’d have way more problems to worry about than some stupid gross statue that doesn’t even look like Hillary Clinton.

Additionally, the New York Post reports that the woman was offended by the statue because she had to look at it all day. Question, ma’am: are you a panhandler? Where do you work that you have to look at a statue all day?

Gotta catch ’em all! But before you can catch ’em all – look, they’re evolving! That’s right, the Pokémon Sun & Moon demo you downloaded today is slowly evolving until the eventual U.S. release date on November 18 for your Nintendo 3DS. On specific dates, new features will be added to the demo, as each feature makes it more evolved until the game has finally and fully transformed on November 18.

Today, a plethora of new info was released officially by Nintendo and unofficially via 4chan mining key details for Pokémon Sun & Moon. 4chan users uncovered amazing information about the game, leaking all of the Aloha region Pokedex. Users from 4chan would also release images of new Pokémon in new Alolan forms: Alola Geodude, Alola Golem, Alola Graveler, and Alola Persian. You’ll also find the final evolution of the three starter characters: Rowlet, Popplio, and Litten, who will transform to “Robinhood” owl, a mermaid seal, and a bipedal, wrestler cat.

4chan hackers also uncovered an interesting connection between Ultra Beasts of the game and human non-playable characters. It appears in the comparison chart released by Heavy that there may be Pokémon-human fusions. The chart demonstrates how closely the village trainers and Aether Foundation members resemble the destructive Ultra Beasts. They appeared in the Aloha PokeDex. But are the Ultra Beasts even Pokémon at all? On the official Pokémon website, Ultra Beast 1 (UB-01) isn’t listed with the other Pokémon. So far, these Ultra Beasts have been cast in a cloud of mystery, between human, Pokémon, and something new. Their official description gives out warnings to both human and Pokémon of the new fearsome beasts of the block: “In the Alola region, rumors are flying about mysterious creatures known as Ultra Beasts. Ultra Beasts possess mighty powers and could pose a threat to humans and Pokemon, so they are feared…”

But besides all of the juicy details hacked and released to the public by 4chan’s elite miners, new features were announced by Nintendo unearthing great info for the game. That said, special thanks have to be given to an anonymous 4chan user, who spilled the beans about those exact dates for when the Pokémon Sun & Moon demo will evolve! I salute you, 4chan, as do many Pokémon fans across the sea and across the land. Here’s a list of the dates when the Pokémon Sun & Moon demo evolves as promised:

“Just in case you wanted to know/didn’t know, the demo evolves over time. It’s all said in the demo itself, but if you don’t want the hassle of remembering it, just remember this thread
– On 10/19 a guy outside the pokémon center will give you something
– On 10/23 a lady in the left corner of the town in the demo will do something
– On 10/30 an old man inside the Town hall celebrates his Pikachu’s birthday, and he asks you to celebrate with him
– On 11/5 a policeman standing on the pier will do something (probably related to team skull, dunno)
– On 11/11 a girl in the ferry terminal is leaving and wants you to say goodbye to her.”

Remember fans: Pokemon Sun & Moon comes out in the US on November 18. Pre-order it here.

Alexis Ren’s Instagram

19-year-old model extraordinaire Alexis Ren recently had a photo shoot. Instead of frolicking around in the water in a traditional bathing suit like a total jabroni, Ren opted to go naked. This was such a genius move on so many levels it’s unreal. She avoids pesky tan lines, it’s a more efficient way to beat the heat, and she gives perverts all over the world heart palpitations.

Enjoy some of the jaw-dropping pics that photographer Kim Akrich took of Alexis.

I would’ve gladly swam across shark-infested waters to be present during that shoot. It’d be like being a fly on the wall while Michelangelo was painting the Sistine Chapel.

Because no human can look at just four pictures of Alexis Ren and call it a day, scroll through the gallery below for some more of her greatest hits.

Alexis Ren: 22 Hottest Photos on the Internet

Alexis Ren may be the perfect woman. With her flawless bronzed skin, toned physique, and gorgeous

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First of all, what pretend town is this? Because I want to move here. There were about five pot shops in a 100-yard area. I’m from Jersey so legal bud has yet to hit our state, but if it does, I hope Hoboken looks like this.

But let’s talk about Mom, shall we? Horrible parenting all around. If you’re so mortified at the sight of marijuana, maybe you shouldn’t have signed your daughter up for a daycare right next to a dispensary. And also, Mom, it’s a f*cking pot store, not the Boogey Man. It isn’t going to pop out and snatch up your daughter. If you don’t want her going in there, don’t go in there.

And how about that hilariously dramatic ending… “Mom?!”

Weed is tight. If you live in any of the states voting to legalize it, go do so. It will bring in hella tax revenue, and put some money back in your pocket as you won’t have to give up your taxes to pay for another 20-something being thrown in jail for some pot.

Penn State Marijuana Decriminalization: Full Story

Sticky Icky, Devil’s Lettuce, Left-Handed Cigarettes, all of the above have now been decriminalized in… State

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Leave it to an intelligent professor at LSU to come up with a legal, awesome, and profitable way of turning an abandoned warehouse into a 15,000-square-foot marijuana growing facility. This morning, the LSU AgCenter announced its plans to build an $11.3 million marijuana grow facility that would also be able to produce and research marijuana products. Oh, and they’ll have a state-sponsored monopoly on selling marijuana in the state of Louisiana, too.

The catch with the LSU AgCenter monopoly (which they share with the Southern University AgCenter) is that they won’t be able to sell anything smokable. TheAdvocate.com writes that they’ll only be able to sell marijuana that can be “in a liquid, such as an oil or spray; capsules or pills; edible dosages, topical applications, trans-dermal patches or suppositories.” That shouldn’t be too much of a problem, though, considering that part of the business plan is to develop not just new strains of marijuana and THC, but also new types of marijuana products.

From the business plan:

In a market where every detail down to the marijuana strain type is protectable, proper understanding of how and when to protect your IP is vital. The AgCenter will register and own all of the IP developed in the Production Facility. The public benefit corporation that will be set up to operate the Production Facility will have the right of first refusal on the commercialization of any IP generated by the AgCenter.

From the business plan’s estimates, it will take the AgCenter five years to start making money on their venture. But just because they start becoming cash positive doesn’t mean they’ll start recouping their costs until much later. Still, though, the marijuana business is growing at a massive level and will only continue to boom once the Federal Government pulls its head out of its butt.

Again, from TheAdvocate:

The LSU AgCenter includes three projections for the business, none of which contemplate any sales until 2018. At the low level, 2018 sales will be $727,000 and reach $13.1 million by 2024. But the business will still be losing money. At the mid-level, 2018 sales will be $1.4 million and hit $16.1 million by 2024. Revenue will outstrip expenses in 2023. At the high level, 2018 sales will be $2.4 million and rocket to $20.1 million by 2024. In this model, revenue will be higher than expenses by 2020.

The plan says several commercial locations are available, but they will require extensive retrofitting and renovations. The estimated expenses include $400,000 for a security system; $675,000 for the areas needed to bud and grow the plants; and $930,000 for labs, vault and a 1,000-square-foot research lab.

Currently, the only other school in the nation growing marijuana is the University of Missouri, but they’re providing their products and resources to the federal government. What separates LSU from the pack is that the LSU AgCenter is going be the first instance of a state college providing weed to a medical marijuana program.

Sounds like the LSU AgCenter has a pretty solid plan through and through. The only thing we poured through the whole business plan page by page, but nowhere did it explain why Tyrann Matthieu would be the lone non-scientist granted 24/7 access to the facility.

Ellen

Shia LaBeouf went on Ellen to promote his new movie American Honey and talk about how life’s been going for the often-controversial actor. The most interesting part of the interview came when Ellen asked LaBeouf about his thigh tattoos. The good stuff runs from the start of the video until roughly the one-minute mark.

I can kinda understand getting one Missy tattoo, as who the hell didn’t blare “Work It” on repeat back in the day? But TWO Missy tattoos!? That’s just goddamn reckless and flat out unnecessary.

While this was the first time the world’s ever seen LaBeouf’s Missy ink, he recently talked with Variety about getting frequently tatted up during the shooting of American Honey. From Variety: 

“One of the things we’d do as a group, we’d all go to the f-cking tattoo shop,” LaBeouf says. He got inked with 12 tattoos while making the film, which drove his director crazy, because she didn’t want her star showing up looking different in every scene. The memories of American Honey are now forever engraved on LaBeouf’s arms, neck, and both of his knees, which feature matching portraits of Missy Elliott.

“I don’t love Missy Elliott like I wanna get two Missy Elliott tattoos,” LaBeouf says. “But you’re in a tattoo parlor, and” — he shrugs — “peer pressure.”

If anyone knows about the power of peer pressure, it’s Shia. His co-stars probably just played this video on a loop until LaBeouf finally cracked.

via Getty

I find the NCAA’s practice of ‘vacating wins’ to be the stupidest f*cking form of retroactive punishment there is. Look, no one considers something a win by scrolling through a record book and seeing the official stat line. Maybe you grey-headed f*ckers at the NCAA offices do, but not fans.

Fans consider a victory a win when they watch their team defeat another team in real time. Short of the NCAA inventing time travel, Syracuse will always have those 101 wins. And in those 101 wins, was a 2006 Big East Tournament victory. You’re going to tell everyone who watched Gerry McNarmara carry his Orange team through the tournament that it never happened? I don’t think so. You want to punish Syracuse for some sort of violation, dock them some scholarships. Ban them from the tournament. Do literally ANYTHING other than vacating wins, because vacating wins is essentially telling a girlfriend whom you cheated on that you never cheated. You cheated, it happened, there is nothing you can do to change that — you know, she knows it, EVERYONE knows it.

Via Syracuse.com:

The NCAA’s order that Syracuse’s men’s basketball team must vacate 101 wins has cost the team every win in two different seasons and at least one Big East title, Syracuse.com has learned. When the NCAA concluded its lengthy investigation into the Syracuse University athletics program in March of 2015, the Committee on Infractions levied several sanctions. One of those sanctions mandated that the university vacate 101 men’s basketball wins that occurred in five different seasons and make note of them in published materials.

On Monday, an NCAA official confirmed Syracuse’s win-loss records in each of those seasons. It’s the first time in the 19 months since the NCAA ruling there has been any indication of exactly which wins Syracuse vacated. The NCAA will not require SU to indicate the specific games that are being vacated, however it’s now clear which wins are gone in 2005-06 and 2011-12. The vacated wins include every one of Syracuse’s 23 victories in the 2005-06 season, including the Big East Tournament championship. Syracuse went 23-12 that season, but the record will now be reflected as 0-12.

That means Syracuse’s memorable run through the 2006 Big East Tournament is now wiped from the record books. The run punctuated the legend of Gerry McNamara as the then-senior led Syracuse to four consecutive wins in the Big East Tournament.

Yeah, I mean, whatever NCAA. Whatever keeps you happy and out of the fans’ way. Syracuse will have always won the 2006 Big East Tournament no matter what you do. I watched it happen with my own two eyes. Good luck convincing me otherwise.

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Elizabeth Hurley has always been a symbol of beauty throughout her career. However, Hurley is currently defying the laws of aging. The 51-year-old actress decided to model her own swimsuit line on Instagram. If your face does not light up and your jaw does not hit the ground, then I suggest you get your eyes checked immediately.

How is this possible?!? Elizabeth Hurley is 51 (!) years old and does not look a day older than 35. I actually think I might be insulting Ms. Hurley by saying she looks 35. Seriously, she is absolutely stunning. You can’t even say that Hurley looks good for her age because she looks good for all ages. End of story.

I actually can’t wrap my mind around it. How does someone continue to get better with age? The only name that comes to mind that is similar to Hurley is Jennifer Aniston. What is the secret? There’s no way that a proper diet and exercise is the only explanation. Genetics? Magic? I actually think Elizabeth Hurley found the fountain of youth and drinks from it every day.

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That picture was taken from 2002. That’s 14 years ago. She looks exactly the same! While all of us continue to get worse with age, Elizabeth Hurley will continue to be the modern day Benjamin Button.

Side note: You know who has to be kicking themselves right now? Hugh Grant. Grant dated Hurley her from 1987-2000. It was actually an amicable separation and the two remain friends to this day. However, what were you thinking, Hugh? That is the very definition of the one that got away.

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Take a look at some of the ageless Elizabeth Hurley’s hottest photos here.

With a love for broadcast news, a personal love for athleticism, and an enthusiastic upbeat on-screen persona, there might be a lot of hot sportscasters out there, but ESPN reporter Maria Taylor may just be one of the hottest women to ever venture into the realm of sports journalism!

When it comes to Maria Taylor, a love for sports was obviously something that just came naturally. Spending her high school years focusing heavily on sports, Taylor went on to attend the University of Georgia where she continued to play both volleyball and basketball at a college level. In 2012, Taylor went on to become a reporter and host for IMG College at the University of Georgia and eventually landed herself a position at ESPN2 as a sideline reporter on the network’s weekly Saturday night primetime college football program.

Taylor is currently on board with ESPN’s SEC Network as a college analyst and reporter. But given her impressive broadcasting track record, we’re sure this woman is bound to keep on climbin’ to the top! So what are you waiting for? Get yourself a glimpse of this gorgeous ESPN reporter at her finest by checking out Maria Taylor’s hottest photos on the internet in the gallery below!

(Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

No matter what political party you align yourself with (unless you’re like the .5% of people who are libertarian), I think we can all agree that Gary Johnson’s presidential campaign thus far has been pretty goddamn hilarious. I’m sure by now you’re well aware of his whole ‘What is Aleppo?‘ fiasco. We also all remember how he couldn’t name a single world leader who he respected (shit man, that Canadian guy Justin Trudeau just got elected last year, even I know that, just blurt something out), which, for a guy who’s applying for a job to deal with world leaders, is pretty pitiful. But since these moments have been played and replayed on every major media channel hundred of times, there’s no need to relive it any further. We’re gonna laugh at everything else. Americans could use a good laugh these days anyway.

Gary Johnson is a dude who wants to straight up ax the Department of Education, Department of Commerce, and Department of Housing and Urban Development. This is a dude who’s worn a yellow tie more than once in his life (see LIT gallery below). This is a dude who’s using the hashtag #LetGaryDebate. I don’t know about you, but that’s about the most depressing hashtag I’ve ever seen. This is a dude whose climate plan is to “grow and encompass the Earth.” That’s it, that’s his plan. That’s like me showing up for work today and my boss asks me, “Hey, Eric, what are you going to write today?” and I respond by saying, “Words.”

Point being is that, in an election that’s already been an off-the-rail train that crashed into a dumpster fire, this was maybe the ONE year that a third-party candidate could somehow (maybe barely but not really) slip through, and we got this dude. Honestly, at this point, I’m just going to kick back, relax, and enjoy watching the world burn.

(The Gary Johnson segment starts at the 10:00 mark, but seeing Oliver rip Jill Stein is pretty entertaining too):

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