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What Was The Best Part Of The Olympics? The TV Bloopers, Obviously

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The Rio Olympics came and went, and quite surprisingly, the Games finished without any major incidents. Well, other than Ryan Lochte’s dumb ass. But in all seriousness, after years of skepticism surrounding Rio, the 2016 Games were an overall success. Now that the dust has settled, everyone is trying to figure out what was the best part of the experience.

Some are saying it’s Michael Phelps or Usain Bolt capping their careers. Others are saying it was the dominance of the United States women. What does COED think was the best part? Easy.

The best part of the 2016 Rio Olympics are the bloopers. Obviously.


Kanye West Wrote A Weird As Hell Poem About McDonald’s And Their French Fries

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McDonalds Poem Kanye West

Frank Ocean has done a ton of weird stuff to support the release of Blonde, his new album, including creating a magazine called Boys Don’t Cry (which was originally going to be the title of Blonde). Inside the magazine are interviews with Lil B, the outline for a TV show, and high-fashion photos. But there’s also something else: a spread on Kanye West that features the rapper driving through McDonald’s in a Lamborghini. And inside that photo spread is a freaking poem… written by Kanye West… about McDonald’s… and how all the food items are jealous of french fries and the way they smell.

Some kid in England took a photo from the magazine and blew this story up.

Since it’s Monday and we’ve got nothing better to do, we’ve transcribed the poem for all of you below.

McDonald’s Man
McDonald’s Man
The french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan
The salad bar and the ketchup made a band
Cus the french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan

McDonald’s Man
Mcdonalds
I know them french fries have a plan
I know them french fries have a plan
The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band
To overthrow the french fries plan
I always knew them french fries was evil man
Smelling all good and sh*t
I don’t trust no food that smells that good man
I don’t trust it
I just can’t

McDonald’s Man
McDonald’s Man
Them french fries look good though
I knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the fries
I knew the McNuggest was jealous of the fries
Even the McRib was jealous of the fires
I could see it through his artificial meat eyes
And he only be there of of the time
Everybody was jealous of them french fries
Except for that one special guy
That smooth apple pie

10 Thoughts You Have When You Realize You’re Not Going Back To School

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college party

For the first 20 or so years of your life, late August and early September are synonymous with one thing: going back to school. Some hate it, some love it, but all of us grow out of it. For some of us, this is the first year in our lives that we will not be returning to school in the fall, and that realization comes with some seriously brutal realizations.

Everyone says college is the best four years of your life, but then all of a sudden, those four years are over. In the first fall after you graduate, the feeling of not going back to school can be a confusing one. Here are some of the things you may think upon realizing your college career is over:


But… now what?


What do you mean drinking on Tuesdays isn’t normal?


So, you’re saying I can’t drink 4 nights a week?


Where did all of my friends go?


Well, at least I don’t have any more exams.


Just bills to pay instead.


Is skipping work the same as skipping class?


WTF IS THAT A GREY HAIR?!


Holy sh*t… I’m an adult.


Where did the all the time go?

Popular Adult Video Site Sending Brandon Dassey To Wrestlemania

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Brandon Dassey Wrestlemania

Adult video sites have been known to do some wild stuff to promote their content, but XHamster going out and sending Making A Murderer‘s Brandon Dassey to Wrestlemania is probably the funniest one we’ve seen so far. Believe it or not, a lifelong dream for a man who was once a convicted murderer is finally coming true.

Here’s the press release that XHamster sent out earlier today:

Just to recap the connection for those of you who’ve already forgotten or haven’t yet seen the show: Brandon Dassey, the irrefutably slow kid who was convicted of Theresa Halbach’s murder, wasn’t too upset about his arrest until he learned that he’d actually be missing Wrestlemania 22. Apparently being the lead suspect in a homicide means that you can’t do awesome stuff like watch Wrestlemania on TV.

Anyways, earlier this month, Brandon Dassey’s conviction was overturned because it was apparent that the Manitowoc County Sherriff’s department had coerced his confession from him involuntarily. And now that he’s finally out, Brandon is probably learning about the benefits of the internet, streaming video, and XHamster. So who better to send him to the biggest WWE show on earth than the site he’s spending the most amount of time on?

Honestly, it’ll be interesting to see how the WWE handles this move. It’s not like his conviction was overturned because of DNA evidence or anything, it’s because the police took advantage of a clearly disadvantaged minor.

WATCH: Bro AF Raiders Tight End Asks Aly Raisman Out On A Date

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Raiders Aly Reisman date video

In a segment for Yahoo Sports, Olympic Gold Medalist and certified dime Aly Raisman discussed what she looks for in a potential boyfriend. Needless to say, none of us average schlubs qualify.

Both Zac Efron and Rob Gronkowski were suggested. Raisman claims that Simone Biles has already claimed dibs on Efron, so Aly is sh*t outta luck in that regard. As for Gronk, Aly thinks he’s too much of a partier, which is a shame because most guys are.

Anyway, at the end of the video, Oakland Raiders tight end and COED’s new hero Colton Underwood asked her out on a date. (Underwood is teammates with long snapper Andrew East, who is married to Aly’s friend, 2008 gold medalist Shawn Johnson). Bold move by Underwood, but did she accept?

She accepted (yes!), and the two exchanged tweets afterwards:

[h/t Yahoo Sports]

WATCH: Massive Stampede Of People Trying To Catch Snorlax in Taiwan Is Scary

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Pokemon Go Snorlax

If you saw hundreds, maybe even thousands of people running in one direction, you’d probably follow them. Right? I mean, you’d probably assume it was a terrorist attack or Godzilla, or something. My point is, you’d naturally think the worst is happening.

That’s why this Pokemon Go video out of Taiwan is so f*cking scary. People aren’t actually running from something as much as they’re running towards a Snorlax (a rare Pokemon in Pokemon Go), but you can bet your bottom dollar that at least twenty percent of the people in that mob have no idea what they’re running from.

Anton Gridnev: Full Story & Must-See Details of Texas A&M Student

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Anton Gridnev

Anton Gridnev, a 19-year-old student at Texas A&M University and resident of Frisco, TX, was found dead at the Sigma Nu fraternity house this weekend. Although toxicology reports are still coming in, it’s believed that Anton died of a drug overdose. Police who responded to the scene found him unresponsive and unconscious. He was taken to College Station Medical Center where he was pronounced dead.

Anton had just moved into the Sigma Nu house this year. After police received a search warrant for the Sigma Nu house, they arrested Samuel Patterson (21), Michael Frymire (20), Christian Sandford (18), and Ty Robertson (21) for possession of narcotics, including marijuana, hash oil, ecstasy, and LSD.

Additionally, police believe that the Sigma Nu brothers might have moved his body and tried to hide some of the drugs.

Here’s the official statement from Texas A&M:

“We are deeply saddened by this news and offer our heartfelt condolences to the family and friends of the deceased student. We are cooperating with law enforcement as part of an investigation. Sigma Nu fraternity national headquarters is aware of the incident and is also cooperating with authorities. Our first response team has been onsite to provide aid to students affected. Our counseling services center is standing by as a resource for students in search of assistance, including for substance abuse as is believed to be the case for this incident.”

As we head back to school and college, there’s going to be a wonton amount of drugs, booze, and illicit substances being passed around to celebrate the return of the year. We can’t stress enough that you all should take it nice and easy to begin with. There’s nothing that can be done about Anton now, but maybe use him as a warning of what can happen if you take things too fast.

Our thoughts and prayers are with Anton’s family and friends. RIP Anton.

**This story is developing. Refresh for updates.**

IndyCar ABC Supply 500 Results: Will Power Prevails

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Will Power wins at Pocono Raceway

(Getty)

It was postponed from Sunday to Monday because of weather, but the Verizon IndyCar ABC Supply 500 at Pocono Raceway was worth the wait. Will Power continued his hot streak, winning for the fourth time in the past six races to pull within 20 points of Simon Pagenaud, who did not finish at the Tricky Triangle after a late crash.

Will Power held off second-place finisher Mikhail Aleshin to earn the victory. Ryan Hunter-Reay, Josef Newgarden and Sebastian Bourdais rounded out the top five.

“The Mayor on Air” James Hinchcliffe, who hosted his live podcast on Saturday at the raceway, finished in 10th place. Newgarden and 16th place finisher Conor Daly also appeared on the podcast, and joined Hinchcliffe in meeting with young IndyCar fans.


Other notables racing included Juan Pablo Montoya who finished eighth, Tony Kannan (ninth), Marco Andretti (12th) and Helio Castronoves (20th, DNF).

Here are the unofficial results, via Fox Sports:

1. Will Power
2. Mikhail Aleshin
3. Ryan Hunter-Reay
4. Josef Newgarden
5. Sebastien Bourdais
6. Scott Dixon
7. Carlos Munoz
8. Juan Pablo Montoya
9. Tony Kanaan
10. James Hinchcliffe
11. Graham Rahal
12. Marco Andretti
13. Max Chilton
14. Jack Hawksworth
15. Charlie Kimball
16. Conor Daly
17. Pippa Mann
18. Simon Pagenaud (DNF)
19. Alexander Rossi (DNF)
20. Helio Castroneves (DNF)
21. Ed Carpenter (DNF)
22. Takuma Sato (DNF)


Eddie Murphy’s Story About Partying With Robin Williams & John Belushi Is The Stuff Of Legends

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The 80’s man. As Drake would say, what a time to be alive. Whether it be through stories from celebrities, or even my own parents, the 1980’s sounds like a decade long party. In the middle of that party was Eddie Murphy, who was on top of the world at the time. In an interview on The Hollywood Reporter’s podcast “Awards Chatter”, Murphy gets candid about his faith in God, avoiding drugs, and his hopes for an Oscar. One of the topics to come up during the podcast was the time he refused cocaine from Robin Williams and John Belushi:

“Belushi and Robin Williams offered me some blow and I didn’t take it, and Belushi called me a ‘tightass’. Then, years later, I was like, ‘Wow, that’s a trip.’”

Murphy believes that had he accepted the drugs that night, his life would have turned out completely different:

“There are a bunch of things like that that I look back on and be like, ‘Wow.’ And that just reaffirms my faith. I know that God is real. There’s been a bunch of times when I could have wound up crashing and burning. “

It was probably a good call by Murphy. Belushi died of a drug overdose in 1982, while Williams, who battled cocaine and alcohol addiction, checked himself into rehab shortly before he committed suicide in 2014.

To this day, Murphy remains sober, saying: “I don’t drink — I don’t have like this moral thing about it, I just don’t do it.”

We can only imagine what it would be like to party with these legends. Maybe one day.

You can check out the full podcast with Murphy here!

Matt Lauer Net Worth 2016: How Much Is Matt Lauer Worth Right Now?

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matt lauer net worth today

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Matt Lauer, best known as the anchor of NBC’s The Today Show, is a hot franchise. After 37 years in the TV business, Lauer has sat on the same couch as British royalty, Hollywood stars, and Vladimir Putin. How this host gets to have so much fun at work is beyond me, but fame and fortune aren’t the only perks of the job. In between TV appearances, this buttoned-down playboy crams in roaming time on his 40-acre horse farm in the Hamptons, and countless sex scandals while he’s at it.

We’re saving the sex scandals for another day. Today, we are here to talk money.

Matt Lauer Net Worth as of 2016: $60 Million


1979 – 1991

matt lauer net worth 1991

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Matt Lauer was born on December 30, 1957 in New York City. He knew from a young age that he wanted to work in media and television reporting news. So at 17, he went to study at the School of Telecommunications in Ohio. But instead of graduating like his peers, he dropped out in 1979, when he was just 21 years old. It was a risky move on the surface, but it freed up time for Lauer to embark on his television career right away, as a producer for midnight news at WOWK-TV in West Virginia. A year later, he became a reporter on the 6 P.M. and 11 P.M. newscasts, and the host of PM Magazine, which soon led to a role at ESPN.


1992 – 1997

matt lauer net worth 1997

Getty

Lauer’s breakout year came in 1992, when he moved to WNBC-TV and became a co-anchor, alongside Jane Hanson, of the early weekday news show Today in New York. Thanks to the national TV exposure WNBC gave Lauer, an opportunity to fill in as a substitute for Margaret Larson on The Today Show came knocking. During that one year “audition,” his talent didn’t go unnoticed. By 1994, NBC asked Lauer to become the full-time news anchor for The Today Show. Things snowballed from there. Lauer soon became the co-host of Weekend Today and worked as the co-anchor for Ann Curry on NBC’s NBC News at Sunrise. In addition to being a part of the NBC Nightly News, he also hosted content for the Discovery Channel and HBO.


1998 – 2016

matt lauer net worth 2016

Getty

When Matt Lauer’s contract with The Today Show came up for renewal in 2012, NBC was eager to make him stay. Following the speculation that Lauer would leave the show in the wake of the storm over the brutal departure of co-host Ann Curry, NBC offered Lauer a whopping $28 million salary. And to sweeten the deal, NBC picked up the tab for Lauer to chopper out to the Hamptons, several times a week, where he lives year-round with his wife, Annette Roque and their children.

But wait, this home in the Hamptons where Lauer choppers to isn’t just any ol’ home. It’s a 40-acre horse farm in Water Mill AND a mansion, reportedly worth $15 million. Since getting his raise at NBC, Lauer soon decided it was time to upsize. In June 2016, he bought a North Haven, NY property known as Strongheart Manor from Richard Gere for $36.5 million.

This New Yorker needs a lot of space.

Sponsors Are Dropping Ryan Lochte Like A Hot Potato

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Ryan Lochte loses sponsorships

(Getty)

Ryan Lochte is famous for what he’s does in the water, but the Olympic star now finds himself in hot water after his publicized fiasco in Rio. For those who are living under a rock, Lochte had claimed that he was robbed at gunpoint only to be exposed to have fabricated the story, and in fact he and a group of other American swimmers had actually been wreaking havoc.

Now in the fallout of the whole ordeal, sponsors are backstroking away from the 12-time Olympic medalist. Speedo, Polo Ralph Lauren, Gentle Hair Removal, and mattress maker Airweave have all announced that they will be severing ties with Lochte.

It’s hard to conjure up a lot of sympathy for Lochte about this. Not only did he act like a total jackass in Rio, but then he tried to depict himself as the victim. Plus you can’t feel too bad for a guy who gets to go home every night to Playboy playmate Kayla Rae Reid.


And now, this. Here’s Last Week Tonight host John Oliver’s ingenious and hilarious take on LochteGate.


If Donald Trump Actually Hosts The Apprentice From The White House It Would Be Must-See TV

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(Getty)

I try to avoid making posts about Donald Trump. Seemingly every day the guy says or does something that I could potentially post about, but I figure you guys don’t come to COED looking to see Donald Trump. You come to see an endless supply of 22-picture galleries of hot women and to see some funny things on the internet. In other words, to escape the constant hysteria of real-life problems like Donald Trump that you’ll find just about everywhere else these days.

But with all that said, there are days like today when I just have to take the bait and give the publicity-hungry Trump what he wants. According to RawStory citing a Vanity Fair report:

“[NBCUniversal Chief Executive Steve Burke and Trump] outlined, presumably fantastically, that Trump should run for president; and on the off chance that he won, he would continue to star in ‘The Apprentice’ from within the White House,” the report cites a 2011 conversation. But Burke returned to Trump’s office admitting that he didn’t want Trump to run.

“If you don’t want me to do this, then I need you to ask me,” Trump reportedly said.

That Donald Trump would want to host The Apprentice from the White House sums up his candidacy in a nutshell. Presidential campaign season has essentially turned into America’s most popular reality show, which Trump has exploited expertly to his benefit. Trump and his supporters have no idea what governing actually entails because they view the world through a reality-show prism.

Yet if a Trump presidency does come to fruition, The Apprentice from the White house needs to happen. The Apprentice perpetuated the notion of Trump the business whiz in the public consciousness, and if he never pointed his miniature fingers at people and told them they’re fired he’d just be another fading b-list celebrity at this point.

So the electing of Trump would basically a mandate for a White House edition of his TV show. Sure, he could be doing more important things. But  The Apprentice: White House edition would easily be the most entertaining reality show of all time.

There’s a bad jobs report. “Secretary of Labor, you’re fired.”

 

President Trump hates the Speaker of the House. “Paul Ryan, you’re fired.”

The president meets a beautiful young immigrant he wants to make his next wife; “Melania, you’re fired.”

None of you could look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t watch this. If Trump somehow wins, NBC better give us a silver lining and make this show a reality.


 

About 1500 Michiganders Accidentally Floated On Inflatable Rafts Into Canada

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(Twitter/@SarniaPolice)

About a month ago I posted a story about two Canadian teenagers who accidentally crossed the border into the U.S. while playing Pokémon Go. I had some fun at the expense of these Canadians, and even joked that maybe we need to build a wall on our Northern border to keep the Canucks out.

But the foolishness of those two was blown out of the water by a group of about 1500 Michiganders who were blown in the water into Canada. The Port Huron Float Down crew were chilling on inflatable rafts, when strong winds blew them into Sarnia, Ontario.

From the New York Daily News:

The Canadian Coast Guard rescued some of the boaters stranded in deflated rafts, and a small fleet of city buses spent hours ferrying them back to the U.S.

Only minor injuries were reported.

Port Huron Float Down’s Facebook page thanked Canadian authorities for their help and praised them as “amazing neighbors.”

 

C’mon guys. You’re making us Americans look bad.

How am I supposed to poke fun at Canadians when they do things like graciously help 1500 of you jabronis get home safely.

So yeah, I don’t actually think we need to build a border on the Canadian border. But maybe South Park was onto something, and the Canadians will decide to build one themselves to keep our stupid asses out.

 

 

 

 

The Whining Baby That Is The Cincinnati Zoo Has Shut Down Their Social Media Accounts

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Theeeessseeeee f*ckin’ guys. Who’s in charge of their PR? They are absolutely blowing it. You ever hear the phrase, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”? Because the Cincinnati Zoo seems to be employing the, “If you can’t beat ’em, whine like a little b*itch and make things worse” method.

Yesterday, literally yesterday, I brought you the official statement the Cincinnati Zoo released regarding the Harambe memes. As I wrote in the article, the statement was a gorilla hair short of full-blown blasphemy:

“We are not amused by the memes, petitions and signs about Harambe. Our zoo family is still healing, and the constant mention of Harambe makes moving forward more difficult for us. We are honoring Harambe by redoubling our gorilla conservation efforts and encouraging others to join us,” said zoo director  Thane Maynard.

Right? Totally asinine. I know. Well, they’ve figured out a way to make it worse. The Cincinnati Zoo has deleted their Facebook and Twitter accounts after being gang tackled by the internet for 3 consecutive months. I’m calling bullsh*t on the fact that the Zoo is acting this way for the sake of “healing.” They’re doing this because they’re sick of being the butt of the entire world’s jokes and want to bury their heads in the sand.

WAY TO BE MATURE ABOUT IT, CINCINNATI ZOO. Keep acting like this and I’ll start a petition to have you moved to Cleveland.

[h/t Daily Mail]

FBI Investigating Possible ISIS Inspired Knife Attack In Virginia

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Virginia ISIS Stabbing attack

via ABC

The FBI has launched a federal terrorism investigation into a weekend stabbing in Roanoke, Virginia, trying to determine whether the attacker may have been trying to behead his victim in an alleged ISIS-inspired assault.

According to ABC News, federal authorities have been aware of 20-year-old Wasil Farooqui, of the Roanoke area, for some time. According to ABC‘s sources, in the past year, he traveled to Turkey and may have tried to sneak into Syria, where ISIS is recruiting and inspiring sympathizers from across the world.

Farooqui was arrested Saturday by Roanoke County Police on charges of assault with malicious wounding. Farooqui is being held without bail at the Western Virginia Regional Jail.

The ISIS suspicion stems from the stabbing. Farooqui allegedly injured a man and woman at an apartment complex in Roanoke, yelling “Allah Akbar” as he attacked them with a knife. Authorities believe he may have been trying to behead the male victim, who was likely picked at random, sources told ABC News.

Adam Lee, the head of the FBI’s Richmond field office, said:

“The FBI is working with the Police Department following the incident that occurred on Saturday evening. While I cannot discuss details of the investigation at this time, I do want to reassure the community that we are working to determine the nature of the incident.”

Farooqui and his two alleged victims were hospitalized after the attack. All of their post-attack health conditions were not clear.


‘Gotta Catch Jamaal,’ And The Rest of the Best 2016 Fantasy Football Team Names

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Gotta Catch Jamaal

The NFL regular season is just around the corner, which means that a ton of people are trying to figure out the most important aspect of their fantasy football team: their fantasy football team name.

Obviously, you can wait until you see which players you draft and then go from there, but we’re of the opinion that you go team name first, then pick your players around that. Maybe that’s why we’re always stuck with The Sacko Bowl. Either way, there are a ton of great and hilarious fantasy team names that have already been thought of–especially with the death of Harambe (RIP) and the rise of Pokemon GO.

As always, extra bonus points are awarded to those of you who come up with your own names, but we put together an excellent fantasy football team names to get you thinking. Check out the best 2016 Fantasy Football Team Names below.


Pokemon GO Themed Names

Warbortles
Gotta Catch Jamaal! https://www.reddit.com/r/fantasyfootball/comments/4wwg3v/best_team_names_for_2016/d6afq3b
Machamp Bailey
Charmandrick West
Tom Brady’s PSI-duck
PokeMoncrief


Game of Thrones Themed Names

Demaryius Targaryen
A Team Has No Name
Game of Throws
Hodor’s Hodors
Hodor’s Hold Doors
Arya Ready For Some Football
KhaLacy, Mover of Chains
White Welkers
Tyrann Lannister
Vernon Davos
The GridIron Throne


Harambe Themed Names

Cincinnati Harambes
Harambe Died For Your Wins
Clinton-Dix Out For Harambe
Hakeem Nicks Out For Harambe


Inappropriate Team Names

Jacking Goff (source)
Forsett in her butthole (source)
Pass to Mouth
Rawls Deep
God Hates Jags (source)
BlakeLivesMatter


Random Team Names

Balloon Drop Bill (Necessary photo) (source)
Golden Tate Warriors (source)
And Hurns to You, Allen Robinson (source)
Watt Me Whip, Watt Me JJ (source)
Fat Bottomed Gurleys
Almost Jameis (source)
Make AmariCarr Great Again (source)
I’m With Hurns
Le’Veon my Wayward Son
Edward Forte Hands
Teddy Throwsevelt
Wizards of Waiverwire Place
Suh-icide Squad
Too Many Cooks

Here Are The Most Inappropriate Things People Have Heard At Funerals

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Funeral Crashers

Funerals aren’t easy for anyone. On top of the fact that someone’s just died (RIP), there’s a lot of different emotions flowing around with the family, the friends, and the friends of the friends who are showing up out of support, all dealing with the loss in different ways. Then you have all these people, emotions flowing at 100 MPH, sitting close together and trying to figure life out.

Now, if you’re Chazz Reinhold from Wedding Crashers, that means that the women are ripe for the picking. But if you’re just a normal person, quietly grieving in the background, it means that you’re likely to hear some weird stuff. So when someone on reddit asked readers to share the strangest and most inappropriate stuff that they’d heard at a funeral, a ton of people came from the woodwork to tell their best tales.

Here’s what they heard:


“Funerals are insane, the chicks are so horny. It’s not even fair.”

giphy


“Everybody Poops”

“My grandmother died this past May and my cousins and I were pallbearers at the funeral. During the funeral we were all joking around and laughing about memories with our grandmother.

As we were walking behind the hearse on the way to the burial site it was silent, we got to the site and the six of us unloaded the casket and began walking to the site with the casket when my cousin loudly says, ‘Dude I’ve got to take a runny dump.’

This lead to six grown men, carrying their grandmother to be buried, laughing uncontrollably as family and friends watched thinking we were all insane.”


Wrong Funeral, Homie

giphy-1


“Who Do You Know Here?”

kyle

This 11-Year-Old In College Level Organic Chemistry Is Making An Entire Nation Look Stupid

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I was never great at collegeing, but this kid is taking it to an unnecessary level.

Cigdem Kahyaoglu, 19, a second-year mathematics and pre-med student at the University of Toledo, shared a picture of an 11-year-old boy named Daniel. Oh, and Daniel just so happens to be in her Organic Chemistry class. At Rutgers University, it took most of my buddies two tries to pass organic chemistry, so it’s honestly melting my mind that a pre-teen is taking the class.

Daniel, currently in high school, isn’t just taking the class, he’s offering to tutor. Daniel told the class if they have any questions, to just email him.

This isn’t Daniel’s first time embarrassing college students, as he took f*cking Calculus last year. Show-off.

According to Metro,  Daniel was the youngest ever Chemical Educational Foundation’s National Challenge Champion in 2015. The challenge encourages pupils aged between 10 and 16 to explore chemistry concepts and their real-world applications.

He picked up his prize – a $10,000 scholarship to help fund their higher education expenses – at the White House Science Fair in April.

Maybe most amazing of all, he’s met both the President… and Bill f*ckin’ Nye.

In all seriousness, this kid is pretty damn impressive, and I’d sooner vote for him than either of the two candy ass presidential candidates we’re currently faced with.

Kit Harrington Says ‘Game Of Thrones’ Is Going To Get Very Dark, So Start Mentally Preparing Yourself NOW

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We’ve still got at least a solid 10 months until the best show on television, Game Of Thrones, returns. Thrones is so far away that by the time it airs, either Hillary or Trump will have been in charge for half a year. Crazy sh*t, I know. Time is a flat circle, all that good stuff.

Anyway, one of the reasons this past season of Game Of Thrones was so goddamn delightful (and its best season yet) was because for ONCE our heroes didn’t spend an entire season taking fat L after fat L. Well, savor it while you can Thrones fans, because apparently, it’s allllll gonna go back to hell.

Speaking to The Hollywood Reporter, Kit Harrington, AKA Jon Snow, AKA The White Wolf, AKA THE KING IN THE NORTH, said:

I think it’s going to get very bleak before if there is a happy ending. If there’s any sort of win or heroic moment for Jon and everyone else. I think it’s going to get very dark before it gets better. I think what we might see this season is those White Walkers and that Army of the Dead really come into force. So that’s going to be exciting to see. I don’t know what it means. I think with the whole “winter is finally here” business, it means everyone is going to have a really bad time.

Yupp. There you have it. We’re all screwed. For season 7 – which is only going to back 6 or 7 episodes, by the way – I’ve got a little dead pool going: I’m betting that Tormund, Davos, and at least one of the Lannisters will die. Amongst others. It’s gonna be brutal, but dammit I can’t wait.

Check out the full Hollywood Reporter interview with The King in the North here.

Food Network Goddess Giada De Laurentiis Turned 46 Yesterday And Is Still Hotter Than Most College Chicks

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Giada De Laurentiis - 22 Hottest Photos

Giada Pamela De Laurentiis is an Italian-born American chef, writer, television personality, and the host of Food Network’s television show, Giada at Home. Giada also appears regularly as a contributor and guest co-host on NBC’s Today. De Laurentiis is the founder of the catering business GDL Foods. She is a winner of the Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lifestyle Host, and in 2012, she was inducted into the Culinary Hall of Fame.

While she’s qualified beyond belief, that isn’t why we’re writing about her. We’re writing about here because Giada De Laurentiis is clearly very, very good looking. So good looking, you probably can’t even guess her age. Got a guess in mind? Well, you’re probably wrong, because Giada is actually 46 years old, even though she looks like she’s 35.

The only time I’ve ever watched The Food Network was when an ex-girlfriend forced me to, but I very well might start tuning into Giada’s show. Ya know, so I can learn a thing or two about the culinary arts. Obviously.

Check out Giada’s 22 hottest photos below, and follow her on Instagram!

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