There’s obviously something seriously wrong going on with this “jit*” but that couldn’t stop us from losing it when the guy recording this punk’s meltdown threatened to end his life if he hit him with that umbrella.

* And just in case you’re wondering what a “jit” is, UrbanDictionary tells me that it’s a “a young muthaf*cka that don’t know sh*t.”

And now for a transcript of the whole encounter, provided by redditor /u/wily_jack.

narrator: boy we got a jit goin ham in the dollar store. i’m talkin bout jit is goin ham in the dollar store. believe that. i’m talking bout, jit is mad, jit don’t got no family, jit say fuck this shit. definitely, cereal everywhere, jit is crazy.

narrator to someone offscreen: i wanna know whose jit this is bruh. jit is just goin ham, you see him?

narrator: i ain’t caught nothin like this in a while. ay i’m talkin bout bruh like, jit… (laughing) aw jit going, don’t nobody know whose jit this is bruh like… (laughing)

person offscreen: ay jit!

narrator to the kid: ay jit! like…

narrator: jit is goin ham in this bitch. we is in dollar store, ay jit goin ham man, look at this shit.

(kid raises umbrella)

narrator to the kid: you hit me with that you gon’ lose your life, that ain’t doin shit, yea

narrator: look at this shit, the man in the store don’t even know what to do. ay youtube, well you hit me boy, i’m gon’ youtube it for real. this jit need his ass beat. i’m talkin bout, i’m tellin you like, this jit goin ham like, jit done went in the back of the store dog. jit tryna tear up some shit. thats what i told em,

narrator to the kid: jit man, you finna get…

narrator: jit going ham, look. fuck this shit! o shit man, boy jit goin ham, boy they can’t stop him. he goin to jail, jit momma gon’ have to pay for all this shit for real, jit done fucked up the store.

woman offscreen: uh uh, he ain’t goin nowhere.

narrator: what, the police?

(can’t understand woman offscreen)

narrator: he done got tired.

narrator to the kid: jit, jit, jit, stop man, don’t knock no more down, you done made your point god damn, god damn, you fin-

kid: get back! i’m not afraid to do it!

enforcer: glad you ain’t afraid cause i ain’t either, let’s go

woman: we got the police on the way

other woman: that’s right, that’s right. somebody’s gotta to do it

narrator: i told him, that’s what i did to him, he needs his ass whooped. i’ll snatch his ass up in the store, for real.

other woman: somebody needs, his momma or somebody needs to get him.

It was a scene right off the playground during Monday night’s game against the Houston Rockets and Washington Wizards. The teams and the crowd had to sit through a 30-minute delay–all because the rim that the Rockets were shooting at was crooked and couldn’t be fixed. It took 20 minutes just to replace the entire goal, followed by each team getting a new warmup period.

The main question is going to be how the officials or any players didn’t notice that the rim was screwed up before the game even started. Why did it take until 48 seconds into the game to see this major problem? Wouldn’t it have been something to see when the first shot that the Rockets took went an odd direction?

There have been whole goals torn down by massive dunks and backboards that have shattered but finding a crooked rim may be a completely new one to deal with. Hopefully, the Rockets can have a new backup goal system ready to go by their next home game. You don’t want to see this kind of thing again–especially if you paid good money for a ticket…

Michael Porter Jr. is a high school sophomore at Tolton Catholic in Missouri.

He’s different from you in a lot of ways: he’s got his entire life ahead of him, he plays AAU ball for a fantastic squad, and he can dunk from a foot-and-a-half inside the free throw line.

I’ll go ahead and say it, I’m jealous. Go on with your bad self, Michael.

H/T Deadspin

Halo 5 Multiplayer Beta is available for play for three weeks, from December 29th to January 18th. If you’ve got an Xbox One and the Master Chief Collection, do yourself a favor and download the beta now. It’s fantastic.

We’ve played well over twenty matches and have some great tips and tricks for you to employ in the next three weeks. Check out all of our Halo 5 tips and tricks below.

Halo 5 Stuck In Multiplayer Lobby Tip

If you’re stuck in the multiplayer lobby–which happens a good amount–the bad news is that the Beta version doesn’t have a “quit” option. So without this tip, previously you’d have start up another game from the dashboard to quit. This comes from Redditor /u/TheWaker.

If you’re playing in a party and you’re stuck in the lobby, simply snap the party app and “leave multiplayer.” You’ll be taken back to the menu, where you can start your party again.

If you’re playing solo, you won’t be allowed to leave a party. So what you need to do is invite someone, anyone, to a party. It doesn’t matter if they accept. Once you’ve done this, snap the party app and “leave multiplayer.”

Halo 5 Beta Multiplayer Gameplay Tips

• Unlike Call of Duty, you really shouldn’t aim down the sights in Halo 5. Once you fully embrace this, we promise your K/D will increase.

• Grenades are, like, mad powerful, yo. Use them.

• In Slayer mode, don’t try to take on teams individually. You will lose. Instead, stick with teammates or try and flank opposing players coming in at your team.

Halo 5 Beta Multiplayer Power Weapons Tips

• If you’re not good with the Sniper Rifle, leave it for someone who is.

• If someone’s approaching you with a sword, thrust backwards as you fire at them. You might survive.

 Halo 5 Beta Multiplayer Thrust Tips

Giada De Laurentiis is the biggest star on the Food Network, and you don’t have to be a foodie to want to check out Gia De Laurentiis’ hottest photos. Take a look at some of her hottest stills and Gia’s favorite photos from her Instagram account….

Giada De Laurentiis is getting divorced, and it didn’t take any time for that to become a hot internet meme. That’s because Gia De Laurentiis is every guy’s favorite Food Network chef. That doesn’t mean that Giada has taught any guys how to cook. A lot of her fans still can’t even turn on an oven–but that’s okay, because Gia is turning on her male audience.

Check out Giada De Laurentiis’s Hottest GIFs Here

Anyway, it’s very sad that Giada De Laurentiis is getting divorced from her fashion designer husband Todd Thompson. We doubt this has anything to do with the rumors from a few years ago about how she hooked up with John Mayer. We won’t even indulge in any rumors. We’ll just celebrate in a quiet way that’s not inappropriate at all–why checking out Giada De Laurentiis’ 22 Hottest Photos on the Internet….

The whole “Thug Life” meme has really been catching on as of late, and while I’m not the biggest fan of it, this is the best clip I’ve seen all day.

Note that this clip is originally taken from this video (but don’t watch it, it’s incredibly stupid and doesn’t deserve your views).

First off, Asian weed jesus completely ignores a stupid prank that some dumb hipster is playing on people in Los Angeles. Then weed Jesus hooks up the clearly-hurting homeless man wheeling in front of him. Then, Thug Life.

You’ll want to choose your own soundtrack as you watch this moron struggle to figure out why the gas tank keeps moving on her car. We’ve tried it out with The Ramones and some vintage Benny Hill-style “Yakety Sax,” but you might have better ideas. And that’s really about all we can say about this video, because we have to treat this woman like she’s a real idiot.

See, the alternative is to say that we can relate to her confusion, and we’re pretty sure that’d count as confessing to driving while drunk. Or driving while addled in some other way. Or just being an idiot. We want to avoid all that. So have a good laugh at someone else’s expense, and let’s all pretend hope that we’ve never been behind the wheel while being so dopey…

So, got any plans for tomorrow night? We sure have plans for the day after tomorrow–because we’ll be busy checking out the wildest photos from New Year’s Eve. Our first prediction for 2015 is that people will keep posting all kinds of crazy party pics from the night before. We’re also predicting that there will be lots of New Year’s Eve Party Girls blowing up Instagram and Twitter with really weird moments that need to be immortalized.

That’s our calling. We’ve already gathered up amazing pics of Drunken Girl/Girl Kissing on New Year’s Eve, and we’ve had some amazing times checking out the Best of New Year’s Cleavage. Actually, that’s the same kind of thing that gets us out of the house on New Year’s Eve. We always think it’s time to stay in and get away from the amateurs–but we love the way these amateur girls get way too wild for the cameras. Get a sneak peek for yourself, and start changing your own plans for not going out…

No NFL player has had quite the year that Texans Defensive Tackle JJ Watt has had, both on the field and off of it. He’s humble as pie, an awkward dancer, and charitable as can be. He’d never say it, but we all know it’s true–JJ Watt is better than you. [lead image via Getty Sports]

JJ could be the first defensive player to win the MVP award since Lawrence Taylor (1985) and is the sole reason why no one’s even debating who should win Defensive Player of the Year.

All we know is that if you mess with Justin James, you got problems. That’s all we know. So with that said, let’s check out our favorite JJ Watt moments from 2014.

#1: JJ Flips 1,000 Pound Tire Effortlessly

When he did it: Offseason

What he did: Completely crushed everyone else’s offseason workout program. Homeboy here can flip this 1,000 pound tire a total of 30 times. That’s just ridiculous.

#2: JJ Uses Google Correctly

When he did it: At the beginning of the season after signing a six-year, $100 million contract.

What he did: Googled “what do rich people buy.” Immediately got that search trending.

#3: JJ Watt 80-Yard Pick Six

When he did it: September 28th, 2014 (against Buffalo Bills)

What he did: Tied an NFL record for the sixth-longest Pick Six from a defensive lineman.

#4: Inspired The Halloween Costume of the Year

When he did it: Halloween

What he did: Well technically this wasn’t really him, but he did RT it on Twitter. The photo on the right happened last year, though.

#5: JJ Watt Mic’d Up

When he did it: November 30th, 2014 (against the Tennessee Titans)

What he did: Strip Sack w/ 15-yard fumble recovery. Takes one play off. Checks back in on offense. Scores TD with one play. All in the span of two minutes. Oh, and he’s mic’d up throughout the whole game.

#6: JJ Watt Sends Back Autographed Jersey

When he did it: Early December

What he did: Late in the season, JJ received this fan mail from one of his biggest fans. It was different than most others, though, because it actually contained an autographed jersey from the fan, “I am sending you my autographed game jersey so you will know me when I am a famous NFL player.”

JJ sent him back an autographed jersey of his own.

#7: JJ Watt sets NFL record in sacks

When he did it: December 28th, 2014

What he did: Set an NFL-record for being the first player in history to record two 20+ sack seasons in a row, and he did it with a safety. Just a little icing on the cake. Snowcaps, perhaps.

#8: Sets PFF Record

When he did it: All season long.

What he did: Pro Football Focus is a stat that’s meant to determine player worth. And with JJ Watt’s monster stat line in 2014 (78 tackles [29 for loss], 20.5 sacks, 50 QB hits, 4 FF, 5 FR, 10 passes defensed, 1 pick, 1 safety, 3 rec. TDs, 5 total TDs) he set a PFF record.

The video above has nothing to do with the record, I just wanted to show you this ridiculous highlight.

#9: Sets Rookie QB Straight On How To Act

When he did it: November 30th, 2014

What he did: When Tennessee Titans QB Zach Mettenberger learned he’d be the starting QB against the Texans, he sent out some selfies on Snapchat to tell people the good news. JJ Watt was having none of that, posting one of his best games ever against the Titans (see #5 on this list). “”I just, I take my job very seriously,” Watt said. “If I was a rookie quarterback being named the starter for the first time in the league, I feel like I’d be a little bit more focused than that.”

#10: Proves That He’s Trey’s Friend

When he did it: Offseason

What he did: When Trey’s schoolmates didn’t believe that he was friends with JJ Watt, JJ showed them on Instagram. Trey also showed everyone he’s got a killer arm.

We couldn’t help but notice Nicki Minaj on the cover of the new Rolling Stone–and also couldn’t help noticing that her  nipples seem to have been airbrushed out of existence, judging from our very close study of Nicki’s skimpy t-shirt. Seriously, we’ve been staring at this cover for hours.

Of course, Rolling Stone has a long tradition of airbrushing nipples from their sexy cover shoots. That’s when they aren’t able to find other ways to strategically cover up their sexy models. We’re even pretty sure they Photoshopped out Justin Bieber’s nipples out of habit. That’s a guess. We didn’t really stare long enough to be sure. We will, however, get back to staring at Nicki Minaj’s nipples, or lack thereof. And if you need something else to stare out, check out Nicki helping to make up a Hot Top 40 of Rolling Stone‘s Sexiest Covers below…

Bowie State student Kevin Hayes is suing the Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity for $3 million for battery, hazing, false imprisonment and gross negligence. Those of you who recognize the name Alpha Phi Alpha as a historically black fraternity probably also know that pledging a historically black fraternity is no laughing matter.

Typically, the pledge process in a BGLO (Black Greek Letter Organization) usually lasts a year–versus a couple of months at an IFC fraternity–is extremely difficult, can be violent, and can be painful. Sh*t, some of these fraternities still brand their brothers. That’s why you see so many NFL players with brands on their arms.

The list of things that Kevin is alleging that the Alpha Phi Alpha brothers doesn’t name branding, but he does list these things in the lawsuit:

• Jewel Shockers (Side Slaps)

• Back Racks (Back Slaps)

• Fat Joes (Chest Slaps)

• Taking “wood” (Paddling)

Crazier still, Kevin still wants to join the fraternity. He claims that he can help rebuild it from the inside.

Importantly for Bowie State lawyers, the lawsuit claims that the alleged hazing incidents happened off-campus.

We’re looking forward to the NWA biopic Straight Outta Compton–and we’re liking how the first trailer has been acquired via bootleg from an Ice Cube concert. That’s some old-skool merchandising right there. Of course, NWA became legends of the rap scene long before there was Youtube, but we’ve seen some amazing old VHS tapes that were handed around back in the day.

Also, that was back when rap was black America’s CNN–or said Public Enemy’s Chuck D. We can’t remember if he said anything about VHS bootlegs being black America’s Youtube. We guess that isn’t likely, and we’ve also seen old VHS bootlegs of Guns n’ Roses concerts, so that probably doesn’t apply. Anyway, here’s a first look at Straight Outta Compton, coming to theaters on August 14th, 2015. From two angles, too…

A little girl made a dolphin on wheels out of Play-Doh–and it’ll make an adult say the darndest things. As you can see in this video, the little girl’s mother is sure delighted over the creation. Facebook has been a little less impressed. In fact, they yanked the video because this kind of thing is clearly inappropriate. And hilarious.

So check out the video for as long as Youtube is willing to host the thing. Also, this isn’t the only penis/Play-Doh connection going on around the holidays. The fine folks of Play-Doh also have a problem with a penis-shaped baking toy. This year is really ending weird…

The Outback Bowl is being played out in Tampa, Florida until New Year’s Day–but we already have Wisconsin scoring a big win over Auburn at the Outback Bowl Beach Day. The cheerleaders of the respective teams got together for some fun in the sun and a little rivalry in a game of tug-of-war. We’re not sure if it means anything that Wisconsin beat Auburn on the beach, but we’re going to consider it an omen to place an unreasonable amount of money on Wisconsin.

Of course, we’re already winners when cheerleaders get together to party on the beach. Especially with the female Auburn and Wisconsin cheerleaders representing their respective teams. It was just a few days ago that cheerleaders for NC State and UCF had their own Bitcoin Bowltug-of-war, and it was beautiful. ddsfdsfthe tug of war at clearwater beach in Tampa, Florida

use this post as a reference for keywords and links – we should also link to this post

You have no idea how many hilarious news bloopers there were in 2014 unless you watch this video. It’s ten minutes of impressively hilarious stuff, and this is coming from someone who hates wrap-up compilation videos.

Our favorite moment (at 3:12) is the extremely awkward interview between Mike Tyson and Canadian reporter Nathan Downer–who upsets Iron Mike by calling out the fact that he’s a convicted rapist. It doesn’t get any scarier than having Mike Tyson a foot away from you and signing off with a very sincere “F*ck you.” Check out that scene, plus plenty more moments of memorable television journalism…

It’s looking to be a beautiful end to 2014, as the daily COED Instagram feed gives us a reason to keep working into the new year. Just check out the spectacle of Demi Rose, who’s just one of a bevy of babes who are showing off as they get ready to rock into 2015. Take a look at intimate Instagram moments from the likes of Bruna Carafini, Jules Liesl, Natasha Oakley, Kate Moss, Claudia Romani, and more.

That includes a perfect pairing of Annika Backes & Andrea Cronberg, too, plus some double-vision courtesy of Miss COED Jessica Sulecki. Now we’re feeling doubly good about 2015…

Click To See

Even More Sexy Instagram Pics…

Olivia Munn has had a seriously fantastic career–with the geek goddess winning over video gamers with her hosting stint for the old G4 cable network, followed by a big-screen turn in Iron Man 2 and a prestigious stint on HBO’s The Newsroom. Check out Olivia Munn’s sexiest photos on the internet to see why Olivia is set to keep guys geeking out for a long time…

Student Assistant Coaches are a big part of the college sports experience–but they’re not supposed to get too involved from the sidelines. For Texas A&M student assistant Michael Richardson, forgetting that rule meant losing his job after he struck two West Virginia players during Monday’s AutoZone Liberty Bowl. His bad behavior was immortalized in GIFs, too…

It forced Aggies coach Kevin Sumlin to issue a statement on Tuesday apologizing to the West Virginia players who got hit. There was simply no reason for either of those incidents to happen as it looked Richardson wanted to get himself into the game with the elbows and shoved he threw out there. Sumlin did the right thing at the end of the day though in getting rid of Richardson.

Those kinds of actions can’t be tolerated in the sport and obviously Sumlin gets that. Richardson later posted a public apology, as well…

Anyway, Richardson hopefully learned a lesson here and won’t do anything like that again. He made Sumlin and the whole team look bad. Now maybe Richardson can personally seek out some players who deserve an apology.

Olivia Munn is on the cover of Popular Mechanics this month, and the cover copy asks, “What the heck is Olivia Munn doing on our cover?”–but the answer is that Olivia Munn is awesome, and so is Popular Mechanics. The publication has actually done a great job of staying very hip over the past few years. And they’re even more hip with an Olivia Munn cover for the February, 2015 issue, plus a really interesting interview with the star of the upcoming Mortdecai. [photo via…]

Also, they have Olivia Munn looking like this…

We should also note that the new Popular Mechanics will show you how to build a firewood rack. And speaking of racks, here’s even more of Olivia Munn’s sexiest shots on the internet–and you’ll want to check out that very sexy issue of Popular Mechanics…