Aaron Paul has released a “Yo, Bitch!” app just in time for the holidays, and let’s think about this for a minute. Our first thought was, “Aaron, you’re a respected actor who probably should quit milking this Breaking Bad thing and start concentrating on your film career, because most people don’t know that Need for Speed was a huge box-office hit, and we just saw you in Exodus: Gods and Kings last night, and you were great.”

But then we remembered that people probably ask Aaron Paul to call them a bitch about 5,000 times a day. Now he can tell them to just buy his app, and you can hear Aaron Paul delivering all kinds of variations on the word “bitch,” and now Aaron Paul will make some more money.

We like the idea of Aaron Paul making more money. He’s a cool guy, so check out the “Yo, Bitch!” app–and now, yeah, it’s the Breaking Bad “bitch” supercut again…

Christmas means toys and fun and childhood trauma–and that last one is courtesy of creepy Santa Clauses from over the years. There’s all kinds of stories to be told about different scary Santas. After all, kids believe that Santa Claus is real. They don’t believe that their parents would willingly put them into the laps of guys who probably just got out on parole, or are playing Santa in order to finance their upcoming week-long alcoholic stupor.

Then we grow up and look at old pics. Suddenly, we believe in Creepy Santa. Not that we’re saying that any of the Santas here are necessarily parolees or drunkards. Sometimes it’s just a matter of a raggedy-ass Santa suit that makes a beloved holiday icon suddenly look like a pervert.

Other times, Santa sure isn’t helping. Take a look at this gruesome holiday gallery and fear for the children–and your own inner childhood might take a beating, too. That’s all part of Christmas, too…

Before we begin, let’s just get one thing straight. We messed up big time. It’s become clear to us that the song we originally thought was titled “Everybody Knows Sh*t F*ck” is actually called “Everybody Knows Sh*t’s F*cked” and is by an artist named Stephen Paul Taylor.

He’s uploaded a full version of the song, played in his kitchen. We’ve embedded that video for you below.

Now that we’ve got that important correction out of the way, let’s continue with laying out our favorite remixes that the internet has made from this great song. There are only two worth watching, but you better believe that these are the funniest things you’ll ever see.

#2: Everybody Knows Shit’s Fucked (Embarassing Dad Remix)

#1: Everybody Knows Shit’s Fucked (Concert Remix)

The University of Arizona Pomline ladies–The Pommies–are ready for the massive PAC-12 Championship Game against the Oregon Ducks tonight at 9 PM EST (on FOX).

They landed in Santa Clara last night, and as you can see in the photo above they like to travel in style.

Here they are at practice this morning.

Damn, but the world was obsessed with butts this year. Celebrity butts of the female variety, that is. Things would’ve been even weirder if the world was getting excited over butts in general.

That’s why we’re not complaining, too. We can kind of understand why the world got really excited over the butts of certain legendary models, actresses, and more. Just take a look at this gallery of 50 fine women who all saw their assets celebrated.

We’re talking about beauties like Emily Ratajkowski, Kate Upton, Kim Kardashian, Charlotte McKinney, Nicki Minaj–and even more that we won’t name here, because you deserve a butt load of fun reminders as you check out this look back at 2014: The Year in Celebrity Booty…

In expectation of the upcoming Army/Navy football game next weekend, Army has released their “Spirit Video” to get the troops pumped up for one of the biggest college football games of the year.

This one is official–unlike the ridiculously cringe-y Army video released earlier this week many believe was actually the work of Navy Midshipmen–and pretty legit. Any time you get military helicopters involved in a YouTube video, you’ll get our attention.

Update #2: Read what UVA students’ reactions to the news today.

Update: Phi Kappa Psi issued their official statement Friday afternoon.

Rolling Stone is “sorry” for publishing a story on the UVA fraternity that allegedly gang raped a woman. In the article, Rolling Stone accused the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity of gang raping a woman named “Kim” in Fall of 2012. The problem was that in an attempt to protect the victims’ anonymity (which is 100% a good idea), the author of the story never contacted any of the alleged rapists (100% not a good idea).

“In the face of new information, there now appear to be discrepancies in Jackie’s account, and we have come to the conclusion that our trust in her was misplaced,” wrote RS managing editor Will Dana in a statement titled as “A Note To Our Readers.”

That “new information” Will is writing about probably came from The Washington Post, which published a story this morning about the inconsistencies in the story:

• “Phi Kappa Psi did not host a party on Sept. 28, 2012, the night that a university student named Jackie alleges she was invited to a date party, lured into an upstairs room and was then ambushed and gang-raped by seven men who were rushing the fraternity.”

• “A name of an alleged attacker that Jackie provided to them for the first time this week, for example, turned out to be similar to the name of a student who belongs to a different fraternity, and no one by that name has been a member of Phi Kappa Psi.”

[Editor’s Note: In the case of fairness we’d like to point out that this was not the first allegation of rape at the Phi Kappa Psi house. Writer Liz Seccuro has also claimed that she was gang raped at the same house back in 1984–and that story is a small section of the original Rolling Stone article you can still read here (although it has the “Note To Our Readers” inserted above it). The majority of rape survivors, of course, are not liars.]

Earlier today, news broke that the UVA faculty would be proposing to extend the ban of fraternities throughout the remainder of the school year while an investigation into the crime happened. No news of whether or not that proposal has been removed from the table.

Bad news for Rolling Stone as they’ll probably get hit with a defamation lawsuit, but UVA has got to breathing a very small sigh of relief. It has not been a good year for the board of trustees. The awful murder of their student, plus two suicides, is tragic enough news.

Beverly Hills Cop hit theaters on December 5, 1984–which means this is also the 30th anniversary of Eddie Murphy going from Saturday Night Live  to becoming the hugest movie star of the 1980s. Trading Places had already been a huge hit, but Beverly Hills Cop proved that Eddie was right to leave SNL behind.

Beverly Hills Cop tapped into the fast-talking street savvy that Murphy had showed off as a temporarily paroled criminal in 1982’s 48 Hrs. He embodies absolute comedic perfection as Axel Foley, a Detroit detective who travels from the mean streets of Motown to posh byways of Beverly Hills to investigate the murder of his childhood friend.

As the ultimate wiseass fish-out-of-water, Murphy unforgettably soaks the local snobs and pampered police department in a nonstop barrage of insults, comeuppances, and hilarious pranks–one of which unforgettably includes a banana in a plainclothes officer’s tailpipe.

Beverly Hills Cop was originally written for Sylvester Stallone and intended to be played straight. It’s impossible now to imagine that version. Aside from Murphy’s indelible ownership of the film, Cop also launched and/or showcased outrageously funny turns from up-and-comers such as Paul Reiser, Judge Rheinhold, and–as a flamingly eccentric art gallery owner–Bronson Pinchot in the role that would soon land him television immortality as Perfect Strangers‘ Cousin Balki.

Even the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack was a smash, generating the chart-toppers “The Heat Is On” by Glenn Frey, “Neutron Dance” by the Pointer Sisters, and the über-’80s synthesizer instrumental “Axel F” by Harold Faltermeyer. So let’s look to the past and enjoy the original trailer–and, yeah, we’ll admit there was a sequel, but don’t bring up Beverly Hills Cop III. We don’t even like this talk of Beverly Hills Cop 4…

The Phi Kappa Psi, Virginia Alpha Chapter–the same fraternity that was named in Rolling Stone’s since-retracted article about an alleged gang rape that occured in 2012–issued the following statement today [source]:

Over the past two weeks the Virginia Alpha Chapter of Phi Kappa Psi has been working tirelessly and openly with the Charlottesville Police Department as they investigate the allegations detailed in the November 19, 2014 Rolling Stone article. We continue to be shocked by the allegations and saddened by this story. We have no knowledge of these alleged acts being committed at our house or by our members. Anyone who commits any form of sexual assault, wherever or whenever, should be identified and brought to justice.

In tandem with the Charlottesville Police Department’s investigation, the Chapter’s undergraduate members have made efforts to contribute with internal fact-finding. Our initial doubts as to the accuracy of the article have only been strengthened as alumni and undergraduate members have delved deeper. Given the ongoing nature of the criminal investigation, which we fully support, we do not feel it would be appropriate at this time to provide more than the following:

First, the 2012 roster of employees at the Aquatic and Fitness Center does not list a Phi Kappa Psi as a lifeguard. As far as we have determined, no member of our fraternity worked there in any capacity during this time period.

Second, the Chapter did not have a date function or a social event during the weekend of September 28th, 2012.

Third, our Chapter’s pledging and initiation periods, as required by the University and Inter-Fraternity Council, take place solely in the spring semester and not in the fall semester. We document the initiation of new members at the end of each spring. Moreover, no ritualized sexual assault is part of our pledging or initiation process. This notion is vile, and we vehemently refute this claim.

It is our hope that this information will encourage people who may know anything relevant to this case to contact the Charlottesville Police Department as soon as possible. In the meantime, we will continue to assist investigators in whatever way we can.

Respectfully,
Phi Kappa Psi, Virginia Alpha Chapter

So everyone got to see the first trailer for Street Fighter V today–kind of, since that leaked video got pulled real fast, but not soon enough so that we now know that Street Fighter V will be an exclusive for the PS4 and PC. It shouldn’t be too long of a wait for more news. There’s the chance for a big announcement at tonight’s 2014 Game Awards, or the PlayStation Experience happening in Las Vegas.

Anyway, we have no idea how you can see the leaked Street Fighter V trailer. And we’re sure not saying that you can see the leaked Street Fighter V footage in the video below, because we can’t understand a word this guy is saying, and it must be something completely different…

In the wake of the stunning Rolling Stone retraction on their story about an alleged gang rape, University of Virginia students have taken to social media to react to the news. We took a peek at UVA’s Yik Yak feed to see what students were saying.

Despite the fact that Yik Yak is an anonymous message board, most of what we saw was understandably angry towards Rolling Stone and the writer. There were some attacks on “Jackie” but a majority of her mentions were actually reminders that she’s already been through enough and that it’s solely Rolling Stone‘s fault for not checking their facts.

In the interest of being up-front, we should go ahead and point out that these might not be Yaks from UVA, but people on-campus–but the fact of the matter is that most non-students still don’t know about Yik Yak. So you can pretty much assume these are students.

It’s time to wrap up another week with the daily COED Instagram Feed–and we’re freaking out this Friday over ladies like Patricia Perez, Bryana Holly, Amanda Cerny, Lucy Collett and more….

Click To See

Even More Sexy Instagram Pics…

December is one of the best months for beer drinkers; you have a wide variety of options and styles, malty and earthy winter warmers are ready to be consumed, stouts and porters are available, and bitter IPAs and DIPAs are on draft; so what to drink? If you are confused, you are in luck because all month I am offering beer reviews of different styles of perfect craft beers to enjoy. This weekend I am drinking an awesome high gravity and ABV brew that compliments the season nicely! This weekend Port Brewing’s Santa’s Little Helper is What’s on Tap!

Moving into the winter months the beers get darker and many have a heartier flavor to them and Santa’s Little Helper is one of my go to stouts to kick-off both the Christmas and the stout / porter season. Even before the first sip, this brew’s aroma is dominated by an awesome cocoa and roasted malt smell.

Looking at the beer one would expect it to be over-the-top heavy in both mouth feel and taste; however the mouth feel is somewhat “light” and the taste is full of well paired and balance flavors. With each sip I get everything from coffee, malts (huge notes here), and both are combined with a sweetness, toffee / caramel, and a slightly hoppy-bittering finish! At the end there is a slight hint of “booze” – guessing that is the “little helper” quality.

In Santa’s Little Helper, Port Brewing has a great imperial stout. It is smooth and provides all of the qualities one would expect from an imperial stout. Because of the flavor impact and the high ABV you want to pair this brew with a hearty and very flavorful meal. For me, stouts and porters are almost comfort brews and make great matches to comfort dishes. This weekend I am making homemade mac and cheese with an extra sharp aged, cheddar. The cheese should balance the beer’s pallet impact nicely!

Cheers!

Beer Stats

Style: Imperial Stout

Alcohol by Volume (ABV): 10%

Original Gravity: 1.092

Color: Dark Black

Hops: Magnum and Centennial

Beer Review Stats

Beer Advocate: 90

Rate Beer: 99

There’s no denying that the holidays are happening on campus and everywhere else. This weekend should bring the year’s first boozy eggnog bashes and bar crawls built to boast ugly Christmas sweaters. This time of year also brings end runs for the NFL and NCAA football alike, along with top-ticket movie releases, ratings-grabbing holiday TV specials, and an abundance of oddball surprises on Blu-ray. Here are the 12 coolest things to do this weekend, if you can’t find that sweater…

College Football Conference Championships

(Dec 5-7)

As end-of-semester exams loom for most of us, college football players now face their own finals. Friday night sees Oregon Ducks vs. Arizona Wildcats. Saturday brings Alabama Crimson Tide vs. Missouri Tigers; Florida State Seminoles vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets; and Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Wisconsin Badgers.

A Very Grammy Christmas

(Dec 5)

CBS follows up this morning’s announcement of most of the Grammy Award nominations with a special showcasing holiday hits as interpreted by Maroon 5, Ariana Grande, Tim McGraw, Pharrell Williams, and Sam Smith. The show’s big gimmick is that the nominees for Album of the Year won’t be revealed until this actual primetime broadcast. Ho-ho-ho.

The Pyramid

(in theaters now)

Ancient Egypt has inspired horror movies from 1932’s original The Mummy right up to this found-footage fright adventure. An ancient curse lures various characters into the long buried title object by causing very modern mayhem. Amidst Hollywood’s holiday excess, The Pyramid presents a nice B-movie big screen alternative.

Knicks at Hornets

(Dec 5)

More or less embodying the word “dreadful” this season, the 4-16 Knicks traveling to the 4-15 Charlotte Hornets is nonetheless the NBA game to check out tonight. The Hornets have been buried by a ten-game losing streak, so the point of pride in breaking it against New York may be just the spark required to make this a turnaround moment. Same goes for the Knicks, who have lost their last eight in a row on the road.

Tales From the Crypt/Vault of Horror on Blu-ray

(Available now)

England’s Amicus Productions specialized in gruesome, gothic horror anthology films during the early 1970s. For Tales From the Crypt and Vault of Horror, the studio turned to classic ’50s fright comics from the U.S., producing a pair of cool cult classics. Especially relevant for the current season is the Crypt segment “…And All Through the House,” in which sexpot Joan Collins must contend with a psycho killer Santa Claus. Each movie gets a typically great deluxe treatment on a double feature Blu-ray from Shout! Factory.

Blues at Islanders

(Dec 6)

New York’s first place Islanders host the hot, 16-8 St. Louis Blues for what promises to be a satisfying Saturday afternoon match-up. The Isles are one a three-game winning streak while the Blues, coming off two straight losses, have something to prove. Pucks should fly.

James Franco hosts Saturday Night Live

(Dec 6)

Following funny video promos in which he states he only hosts Saturday Night Live “to get laid,” James Franco returns to the show for the third time. The musical guest Nicki Minaj who, last time she appeared, played an amazingly funkadelic Bride of Blackenstein. Track records are good going into this episode.

Roller Boogie/Heavenly Bodies on TCM Underground

(Dec 6)

TCM Underground is the overnight Saturday film series in which the Turner Classic Movie channel showcases cinematic oddities that oftentimes aren’t presently on home video. At 2:15am EST, bosomy grown-up Exorcist babe Linda Blair leads a posse of disco skaters to save their favorite rink in Roller Boogie (1979). That’s followed at 4am by Heavenly Bodies (1984), in which gorgeous aerobics instructor Cynthia Dale dons a battle leotard to defend her Dance-ercize studio from closing.

Naked and Afraid: Franco and Rogen

(Dec 7)

Going where no big screen comedy duo has ever gone (publicly) to promote their new movie, James Franco and Seth Rogen, stars of the upcoming The Interview, strip down and go back to the land on the Discovery channel’s hit series. Expect myriad uses of the term “junk.”

Robot Chicken Holiday Special

(Dec 7)

The full title of this Adult Swim chestnut says what needs be said; it’s The Robot Chicken Lots of Holidays but Don’t Worry Christmas is Still in There Too so Pull the Stick Out of Your Ass Fox News Special. Seth Green and company’s animated toys wreak havoc as expected over the Yuletide, along with Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, and whatever else they come up with tonight.

Dying of the Light

(in theaters now)

Nicolas Cage stars in yet another below-the-radar action bash. What’s intriguing, though, is that it comes from legendary filmmaker Paul Schrader, the screenwriter of Taxi Driver and Raging Bull, and director of the cult favorites Hardcore and Cat People, as well as last year’s Lindsday Lohan sex oddity, The Canyons. When Nic Cage goes truly weird, the results are often truly rewarding. Dying of the Light seems well worth a look to see how that pans out.

NFL Sunday

(Dec 7)

Week 14 of NFL 2014 comes loaded with crucial match-ups, potential heartbreakers, possible shocking wins, and everything else that there is to look forward to on, as is said, “any given Sunday.” The difference now is that we’re three weeks away from the end of the season. Games to set aside time for include Ravens at Dolphins, Steelers at Bengals, Colts at Browns, and Texans at Jaguars.

We’re thinking that Bathtub Party Day is really the kind of national holiday that gets celebrated at night. At least, that’s how it usually works in our fantasies. We also have fantasies of beautiful gals documenting their Bathtub Party Day celebrations so that they can get immortalized. That’s one fantasy that’s come true, too. Just take a look at these lovely ladies who know better than we do about December 5th, which pretty much just knocked down a few other holidays in our ranking of the best December dates…

Burger King is bringing back the Yumbo, which is a ham-and-cheese sandwich that they have not served in 40 years. According to our friends over at Newser Burger King marketing chief Eric Hirschhorn calls it “one of those things we [could] no longer ignore.” The sandwich will be available for a limited time for $3.69. CLICK HERE to read more.

And here are some more interesting links that our air-headed intern forgot to post…

Taylor Swift is kissing Karlie Kloss, maybe [TMZ]

Bears fan stabbed 9 times by Cowboys fan in parking lot [Busted Coverage]

Why you should follow Reese Witherspoon on Instagram [College Candy]

Emily Ratajkowski and Nina Agdal looking sexy in Miami [Egotastic]

Selena Gomez posts new pic of herself in bed [Popoholic]

Stella Maxwell hit the runway for the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show this week–along with six other newcomers, but Stella really took a big leap this year. The sexy (and half-Irish) New Zealander was kind of expected on the runway after stepping up to help front the launch of the new Victoria’s Secret Scandalous line back in October. [photo via…]

We sure collected our share of sexy Stella Maxwell photos back then, of course. We don’t want to neglect Stella’s other work for other clothing lines, though. We know the week of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show can make you forget that there are other clothing lines, but Stella’s here to remind us. The daring gal does a great job of selling all kinds of looks, too.

Of course, we know that Cara Delevigne probably technically won the week with her British Fashion Award and new role in the Suicide Squad movie. Stella still deserves plenty of credit for a near-upset with her flashy turn. Now start the weekend with some pics that are the opposite of upsetting…

Click Here For More

Women Who’ve Won Their Weeks!

We usually celebrate Women Who Won the Week, but Allison Williams had a lousy one in the wake of this week’s Peter Pan Live! The musical broadcast mostly suffered from lousy pacing over a miserable three-hour running time. Allison Williams was also plenty irritating as the title character. Sadly, Christopher Walken was also a big disappointment as Captain Hook. He was supposed to bring some prestige to the project, but Walken ended up looking unrehearsed and slightly dazed.

And it was also kind of traumatic to see that Walken’s tap dancing was poorly faked. Nowadays, of course, Walken is a beloved character actor with a big following for his offbeat phrasing and acting style. The guy’s always been full of surprises, though. That includes a new generation regularly discovering that Walken is a Broadway baby and a great hoofer. Some people learned that via the Fatboy Slim “Weapon of Choice” video back in 2001. Today’s generation missed out on that revelation with Peter Pan Live!

And not many people got to see Christopher Walken in 1981’s Pennies from Heaven. The bizarre musical drama was supposed to be Steve Martin’s big dramatic breakthrough. Instead, the imaginative film bombed at the box office. Some lucky moviegoers still got to enjoy Christopher Walken showing off some amazing dance skills–after his harrowing turn in The Deer Hunter and before playing a Bond villain in From a View to a Kill. We’d like to say that Pennies from Heaven is underrated, but this musical fantasy really is the high point. Use it as some eye bleach in the wake of this week’s big mistake…

Tonight the Missouri cheerleaders will have to do everything in their power to pump up their fans to beat the Alabama Crimson Tide. It’s going to be a job, but somebody’s got to do it.

It’s not as though Missouri hasn’t accomplished anything on their own, though. The Tigers are coming into this game as back-to-back SEC East Champions. And Bama? Well Bama is Bama. They’re favored to win.

(1) Alabama vs (16) Missouri

SEC Championship

(4:00 PM EST | CBS)

Georgia Dome–Atlanta, GA

“Hut-one! Hut-two! Hut-rettch!” The center for the Arizona Wildcat decided that if his team was going to lose to Oregon last night–well, he’d sure keep them from celebrating with the game ball.  The proud University of Arizona student puked all over the ball before finishing up a hike, and more power to that guy. Arizona lost, but that’s okay. Otherwise, this might have become a team tradition…